Go forth and multiply
His plans are for our future and hope.
Letter to a feminist
You see, ever since time began and our sister Eve was deceived by the serpent and ate of the forbidden fruit- a fruit which God Himself had told her and her husband, Adam not to eat, she has handed down to us the desire to rule and control.
Sin and death entered into the human equation for the first time. Yet God in His compassion, clothed this couple with animal skins and did not separate them- for it was He Himself Who said that it was not good for the man to be alone. Together, they fled the Garden of Eden wherein was the Tree of Life, lest they should eat of that and live forever. Yet God blessed them. What greater blessing could there be for a couple than to have a child born of their own loins? And so with the birth of Cain, the first baby on earth, began the natural cycle of companionship and intimate marriage producing children who produced children of their own to carry on the genes of their parents and grandparents- yet all destined to return to dust from which we came.
As women, there has been suffering. We know the pains of womanhood, the broken heart of romance, the joy-and pain of marriage and bearing and raising children. Yet in the main, womankind has not only accepted this as her purpose in life but as her God-given right. Indeed, most of us would not wish to tamper with it.
It is a wise woman who accepts the role in creation that God has ordained for her. It is natural for us to fall in love, become engaged, marry and bear and raise children. We thrive on making a happy home and marriage and count it all joy by and large. Our fulfilment comes in being helpmeets to our husbands, mothers to our children, and homemakers. Because we have accepted our role as a partner in God’s creation, we do not see the need to compete with men nor do we try to usurp their authority. We see the value of godly submission and enjoy the boundaries that God has appointed for us in our given tasks as wife and mother.
Our fulfilment does not come from a personal bank account, freedom from male ‘domination’, childlessness by choice and an aversion to all things matrimonial and domestic. We do not see children as an occupational hazard of being a wife but a blessing from the LORD. Nor do we sacrifice our children to abortion on the altar of job promotions, freedom of choice/fertility, ambition, prestige and competitiveness with men. Rather, we welcome our God ordained role as women, for in that we can find true freedom.
Freedom that allows us to be gentle, kind, nurturing and domestic. Freedom that rejoices in cooking, cleaning, birth and the marital bed. We do not see our husbands as beasts who exploit us for their personal pleasure, but we delight in their affection and embrace.
Our freedom comes in the keeping of our homes and in the provision of our husbands. In freedom and lack of fear we bring forth our children and we raise them with the love and authority of their fathers. In freedom, we express our concerns and fears to our husbands and in that same freedom we give opinions and insight. The freedom of godly femininity allows us to be equal and not inferior to our husbands. That freedom liberates us from the need to be aggressive, masculine, dictatorial and harsh women. For our freedom in God allows us to be uniquely suited to our husband. There is no need to strive to compete or usurp the authority of men. For a godly woman is of great value.
I can understand a feminist’s view to a point- she has not seen the blessing of femininity or the beauty and challenge of marriage, motherhood and servant hood. She is to be pitied for she has brought upon herself the misery of usurping the God-given natural order by refusing to be a partner in God’s plan of creation. God can open your eyes, dear Sister and He can release you into His wonderful plan of godly womanhood.
There is freedom in His ways. There is peace and fulfilment. God will not force His Will in your life, but He will give you joy unimaginable if you repent and become the woman He created you to be. He has a wonderful purpose for your life- if you will accept it. The struggle can end with your choice to be a true woman and complete not compete with men. God’s Word is very clear on this- His Word is true and good. Will you not reconsider and come home? You will be so glad you made that choice for there you will find the freedom you so desire.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
The cruelest blow
At least I can hold my head up that I've done my best. God sees. He knows I gave myself exclusively to my children and grandchildren. But they made choices that sadly do not include me in their life.
Thank God we aren't accountable for the actions of our kids and grandchildren. I will pray that there's a resolution for myself and any other Sisters who visit here with broken family ties and estranged children and grandchildren.
Loving them with your whole heart and losing them to indifference and disdain is the cruelest blow.
Until the indignation be overpast
- Let us make sure we keep our homes clean and aired.
- Let us try to stay to a routine that gives us time to teach our children.
- Let us remember that our children will be picking up and hearing fearful information, so let us be particularly loving with them.
- Let us make meals that not only fill our family's stomach, but nourish them. Give them something to look forward to at meal times.
- Let us be loving with our husband- chances are he has worries about employment and like you, is concerned about how to stretch the finances and keep the roof over your head and food on the table.
- Let us try to avoid speaking constantly about the ills of this current state of the world in front of the children. They may be young, but they will take in a lot of fear. If the parents are afraid, then for them, it is the end of the world.
- Let us limit watching the news as this is bound to effect everyone. Limit news to finding out directly what you need to know and turn it off.
- Let us watch uplifting videos, especially with our children and let's play with them. Make a cubby house and let your children be the Mum and you the child. Use your imagination and delight them.
- Let us put our little ones into the bath and sit alongside them, singing songs and telling stories and blowing bubbles with them.
- Let us have a sense of calm and peace in our home, for everyone to enjoy.
- Let us be particularly attentive and available to our spouse and fan the flames of romance. It works wonders for a marriage.
- Let us sit at table and teach the little ones etiquette, and have the table set nicely to make it a time of pleasure and unity.
- Let us continue with a daily nightly bedtime routine for the children and keep regular sleeping hours.
- Let us pray with our children at night as they go to bed, allowing them to know that God loves them, watches out for them and calls all the stars by name. Invite discussion of any worries so that they can be reassured and sleep better.
- Let us keep up with our own appearance and hygiene, for that will make us feel more like we can cope.
- Let us use the fine crockery, tableware, cloth serviettes and silver utensils. Drag out the best linen and softest towels and celebrate home and family.
- Let us remember to pray for others, particularly for those for whom isolation means domestic violence. Have this link on hand for help if you or someone you know needs protection and advice.
- Let us remember to keep close to the LORD Who has gone to prepare a place for us, and is coming to take us Home with Him soon.
Big Brother has got us covered
My twin sister has lupus but she has no mental impairment with it. The other day, she received a letter from the Australian Government body called Aged Care. They informed her that she was to attend a meeting of a panel of health care professionals who would discuss her ability to stay in her own home. The final decision would be taken by them and not including her, and would involve her moving into a nursing home. This in spite of sharing a home with my son as her carer.
My new wheels
So, the MRI results are in. I have a meniscus tear, fabella, torn posterior crucius ligament, bursitis and osteo arthritis behind the patella. It needs surgery as it does not repair itself.
I am to see an orthopaedic surgeon and meanwhile I must rest the knee and use pain killers.
We have bought a shower chair and a wheelchair. I have had Chris push me on the seat of my walker, but it is a big strain on his heart and I worry about him.
It is difficult to focus enough to write at the moment and I spend a lot of time on the couch aka the beach, or in bed with my electric blanket.
I am just able to stand enough to wash some dishes, cook a meal and stack the washer and dryer. Chris helps sometimes and has been my legs.
I am making use of the slow cooker a lot, cooking the meals as I am able to stand.
As with all new health issues, I am trying to come to terms with this "new normal" and the constant struggles with fibromyalgia are now "normal" and this new challenge is calling for all my ability to accept my new lot in chronic illness.
I am disheartened that both my knees have now given way (I have a torn meniscus in my other knee), and am trying to feel grateful that I could afford a wheelchair. Thank goodness for afterpay.
I am trying to be thankful for my new wheels, and I am also trying to give this new situation over to the LORD. I guess it's all a part of grieving what I have lost and accepting it, and not giving way to self-pity. It's hard.
However romantic a picture I can find really doesn't cut it for me as I struggle to accept that I am now wheelchair bound, and instead of a new car, a wheelchair is my new wheels.
When you're hanging on by a thread
A moment of truth
It was about 1 pm, when we arrived and although we had been invited to come for a visit, we were appalled by the lack of cleanliness, the untidiness and the obvious squalor around us. But what horrified us most was my friend’s 12 month old nephew standing in a dirty cot, soiled nappy and ragged singlet, crying and flushed whilst his mother sat unperturbed reading in the dust covered living room.
My friend immediately swooped on her nephew and comforted him. She inquired of his mother if he was hungry- she replied that she had given him a bottle in the morning. We looked in the cot and there was an empty feeding bottle complete with flies on the teat. We felt revolted. The unmistakable odour of the soiled nappy was overwhelming and when my friend took it off to change the little fellow, it revealed red blistered welts where his nappy had been. Immediately the child was given a warm bath and his nappy rash was plastered in Vaseline- there wasn’t anything else in the house for it.
All the time, the child’s mother kept reading, seemingly oblivious to us. It was very disconcerting. We opened the fridge to get something for the little boy and it was growing all types of green mould. The milk was out of date. The pantry was under stocked to say the least, and all we could rustle up for the baby was an egg in bread crumbs. He was starving and we were angry and sad.
My friend rinsed out the soiled nappy and singlet and opened the lid of the washer. We exchanged shocked glances as the rancid smell of half washed clothes met our nostrils. As the clothes were going mouldy, we presumed they had been there a long time. And there was no excuse for this laziness, because the child’s father had bought his fiancee a new washing machine during the pregnancy.
What was wrong with this girl? She only wanted to do what she liked doing- reading. That was what consumed her time and life- books. Not her little boy or her impending marriage, (which didn’t take place fortunately) but just her desires were her life. She could not see anything wrong in that. And she was a very well read and quite intelligent woman. She was to come to see that it did matter indeed.
She told my friend’s brother when it all came crashing around her ears, that she didn’t want to have to keep the house clean, look after her baby and tend to his needs. She wasn’t harming anybody by reading and she couldn’t see what the fuss was about. We were incredulous that someone could be so self-centered and unenlightened about life. And totally indifferent to her child- not even a toy was in his cot the day we visited!
I couldn’t help but see the contrast between the Proverbs 31 woman and her. And I certainly wasn't evenly remotely close to this selfish woman. So I lightened up and relaxed a bit. I stopped being over perfectionistic and settled for a balanced approach. I enjoyed my children more. And I made sure that I never put off doing something just because I didn’t feel like doing it.
Now whenever I see a well-kept baby, I always remember another one- a sad, hungry and dirty little baby boy with a mop of blonde curls and a dirty nappy. And I thank God that He gave him into his Daddy’s caring hands.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Ecclesiastes 10:18 “By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through,"
Change often takes time
Old habits sometimes take time to change, but they can change! It is not immediately obvious either. Take trying to stop using unsavoury language. Years of using certain words never bothered you, but God has convicted you about your speech and you have repented and responded.
Change can take time and calls for patience. Take planting some fruit trees for instance...you may not see any fruit on your tree, but there is still change and growth. Eventually if you persist in your desire and efforts to change, you will see buds of growth. Eventually there will be fruitful blossoms and then there will be fruit! Continue in your path of change and don't let yourself become discouraged!
I believe a person can change in a grand way if she or he so wishes. With repentance, the right attitude and prayer, we can do it! But remember, change often takes time.
© Glenys Robyn Hicks
Dead or alive
You are doing well!
It does seem unfair that not only do we have this accursed disease but that we feel obliged to defend ourselves constantly! Sometimes even to doctors! Families can often be the worst with their taunts about being a hypochondriac and demanding we get a job! Why don’t they realise just breathing is a job some days and besides which, your joints and muscles feel as stiff as a statue??
Because I walk in your shoes, may I offer you some advice and comfort? Which I know you need as you bear one of the heaviest loads imaginable: chronic pain and illness whilst trying to be a good wife, mother and home maker.
Are we not the best of loving wives and mothers, homemakers, servants of our family and the LORD? We don’t throw in the towel and give up because we can’t- we have our families and home to look after- but we draw on all our innermost reserves to give to our families what is needed when we just want to crawl back into bed and vegetate. Do we? Not as much as we want!
We show great devotion, endurance, and self-sacrifice with our limited energy and draw closer to God than perhaps most healthy women would do. Why? Because it is harder for us!
And so I would encourage you to realise that you do not have to take the taunts and demands to heart, nor let it settle in your spirit. You do not have to defend yourself incessantly to anyone, because you are doing far more already than most people of lesser fortitude would do. Furthermore, God hears our sighs and pleas, He knows we are but dust and knows our frame- He most of all identifies with our weaknesses!
Will He not say "Well done Thou good and faithful servant" Matthew 25:21 to us who struggle to serve others every day when our flesh cries out for compassion and being served ourselves? In moments like these, I cling close to Christ and let His compassion and grace wash over me afresh- for without His closeness I would never get up some mornings! With the Psalmist, let us rely on God for our strength as we cry, "I love you LORD my strength!" Psalm 18:1 I pray you feel His loving help. You are doing well!
© Glenys Robyn Hicks