Showing posts with label Sacrificial HomeKeeping. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sacrificial HomeKeeping. Show all posts

Giving in is not giving up!



Yesterday I came to the realisation that my fibromyalgia is not going to get any better. Nor is my diabetes, hole in the heart, back pain, angina, asthma or torn meniscus. 

My blood sugars are also high, but not as high as Chris's, but it is a warning to me as well. I certainly do not want to go through what Chris is going through with trying to get the right amount of insulin and the horrid symptoms he endures.

My hole in the heart means my right lung is not oxygenating properly and because I need a fourth stent which I have refused (another story), I have constant stable angina. And asthma on exertion.

My blood pressure is high as the pain from my back and torn meniscus in my knee is bad. Finally, with Chris being ill now, my depression is back. I hurt when he is hurting.

Like any Sacrificial Home Keeper, I am trying to keep my home clean and tidy and here I too am failing. I see no end to it...

I was talking to my twin sister yesterday and she said that it is possible to get a bit of subsidised home help through the Australian Government's Age Care plan. So I applied and am going to be assessed tomorrow. I am eligible, as I am now 67 and my husband is 70  and is unable to do housework with me.

I can do some housework if it is waist level: dishes, cooking, washing, dusting. But I cannot even sweep let alone vacuum or wash my floors, as my tendons and muscles scream for mercy with my fibromyalgia and my back joins in sympathy, followed by angina and asthma. So basically I need someone to clean my floors and to change our bed.

As a woman who has been a house keeper since 1969 and brought up five children, it really galls me that I have to admit that I cannot maintain my own home by myself anymore. 

So, I am giving in trying to keep up like before when I was well. But I still will be doing meal planning, grocery shopping (online),  cooking, cleaning my kitchen including dishes, bill paying and budgeting, washing, ironing as needed, refilling prescriptions, social planning and gift buying, looking after Xena our cat, and most importantly, looking after Chris's and my health.

In saying I am giving in trying to be strong like before, I am not giving up: one way or another, my home will be clean! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Do not cast me off in the time of old age; forsake me not when my strength is spent. Psalm 71:9

Thoughts of Home



I was just being obedient to what my parents saw in me. I was more interested in the things the women in my family, my mom, grandmother and aunt were all about: homemaking and cooking and housekeeping. I wanted to be a housewife and mom.
Gladys Knight

There are practical little things in housekeeping which no man really understands.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Housekeeping ain't no joke Louisa M Alcott

A home in which the housewife sheds tears will be bereft of all prosperity. This is the ancient conception of the role of women in the home. Sri Sathya Sai Baba

Being a housewife and a mother is the biggest job in the world, but if it doesn't interest you, don't do it - I would have made a terrible mother. Katharine Hepburn

I love my house
And the work it gives to me,
The dear tasks of bringing
Ordered dignity to room and hall
Where the shadow and the whisper
Of my loved ones dwell.
I love the banishing of dust,
The corners square and clean,
The windows clear
As the promise of my future days.
I love the small task
Of mending tears and rips,
Seeing again the joy,
Hearing the swift shout and rush
Of happy, running feet.
I love the clothes clean and sweet again,
Smelling of the sun and wind,
Folded in quiet order to await
More joyous play.
I love my dishes stacked neatly row on row,
Order matching gleaming from the
Chaos of the morning meal-
Sitting solemnly, waiting for the
Renewed communal pleasure
They soon will bring again.
I love my house
And all the work it gives to me
That my soul might grow
With discipline and tempered grace.

Source: June 1958 RS Magazine


"The curse of the LORD [is] in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just" Proverbs 3:33

Travelling on the path of illness


It's amazing how when you aren't chronically ill how you take so many things for granted. Things like getting in and out of a bath, taking a shower, even toileting when your back is in spasm, bending forward to clean your teeth, standing at the kitchen sink, wiping benches in the kitchen, sweeping the floor or simply bending to pick something up....

It once was an easy task to climb up and down stairs, get on and off trams or buses, walk to the letterbox and push a shopping trolley around the supermarket. Not any more...

Everything we do has to be measured up and spoons metered out before a task is actually done. It certainly impinges on our spontaneity. For us, there usually are lots of ramifications when we have tried to be spontaneous. Pain and more of it!..

Once when we went to bed, we would expect to go straight to sleep, have pleasant dreams and wake up refreshed. Now we often watch the clock go round, drift off if we are lucky and dream of pain as we toss and turn in our sleep, only to wake up feeling like a truck has hit us.

Normals would probably view our hesitancy to do a task as procrastination or laziness, and before becoming a Sacrificial Home Keeper or chronically ill woman, I would have as well... but we simply are adapting to our new normal...

When our illness is invisible like fibromyalgia for instance, we just want to be respected and understood, but inevitably, we are judged. Especially so if we have become overweight because of illness...  it is us who suffer from guilt (false guilt really) that unkind judges of our body put upon us. This invariably leads to depression and overeating in an effort to gain energy to move more, or simply for comfort.

I am just so glad that God knows exactly what is in our heart and understands. He knows our frame and we are loved unconditionally- and this is so comforting to us who only know scathing remarks and criticism in this fallen world we are travelling through on the path of illness.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The LORD will strengthen him on his bed of illness; You will sustain him on his sickbed. Psalm 41:3

Cleaning for older women



I read this and thought not only would it be helpful for us older sisters, but also for us Sacrificial HomeKeepers especially those of us who suffer with fibromyalgia.

There are many websites that have detailed instructions teaching young women how to clean and organize their homes. However, I haven't been able to find much on teaching older women how to adjust to not being able to stay on a routine cleaning schedule due to health problems, yet keep a clean home.

This article can also apply to younger, healthier women too because of the unexpected occurrences that do happen in all our lives.

One thing you need to know about me is that I've always had the problem of perfectionism, which I have learned to control in recent years. You may be wondering why I consider perfectionism as a problem. For most people with this characteristic, they are uptight and easily upset when things don't go as planned. The least little thing that goes wrong immediately puts them in a bad mood. Why? Because they have lost control of the situation.

I have had to ask the Lord on many occasions to help me adjust my attitude and He has been faithful in doing so. I am MUCH more relaxed than I use to be and give the Lord all the credit because I don't think it is something you can change on your own. Oh, I occasionally will fall into my old way of thinking at times, but quickly realize that old enemy and put it away.

As we age, we usually end up with a few health problems along the way and we also tend to move a bit slower, thus taking longer to do one chore. It can be very frustrating to those who have always tried to keep a clean and tidy home. Maybe bending or stooping is causing you pain at times or you just can't seem to do as much in one day.

* My number one recommendation is to RELAX!!!!! I don't mean to sit all day eating bon-bons and watching soap operas, but relax your attitude.

If you are like most women, you dread another woman coming into your home if it isn't absolutely and perfectly clean and tidy. We are always apologizing for the way the house looks when most of the time, it is just fine.

Your children are grown and maybe already left the nest, so it is just you and your husband. This alone will help you because there are now only two to make a mess. Yet, the house still needs tender, loving care.

* Clutter in your home can appear to others as uncleanliness, so make sure to put things back where they belong and keep your home as clutter-free as possible. A tidy home will appear clean even when there are a few dust bunnies around. Maybe it's time to get rid of some things you no longer really need. Maybe that collection doesn't have the same appeal or meaning to you as it once did. Ask your children if they are interested in having it. If not, why not donate it or have a garage sale? The less "things" you have, the less dusting. Take a picture of it and put in a memory scrapbook! Then be happy you have less dusting to do.

* Your laundry loads will be greatly diminished when it is just the two of you. I have found that on days my back is acting up, I can sometimes still accomplish doing the laundry by having a low stool by the dryer to sit on. That way I can reach into the dryer without bending over and sit there folding each item. My husband and daughter frown on me doing anything when my back is bothering me and they say, "Why didn't you call me to do that?!!!!" Well, I'm the type of person that if I can find a way to do something myself, I'll do it. Asking for help is my last resort.

* Depending on your ailment, sweeping, mopping, and vacuuming can be difficult along with cleaning the tub/shower. May I suggest to look at alternative cleaning equipment? A couple of years ago my daughter gave me a Swiffer floor vac and Swiffer wet jet. These two items have been a tremendous help to me. They are VERY lightweight and easy to use. Of course these are to be used on hard floor surfaces only. I read once where a woman used an old-fashioned mop to clean her tub and shower. Prevented her from having to bend over. If you are completely unable to do these tasks and your husband isn't able to do them either, why not consider asking one of your children if they have time once a week to do this for you? Or maybe someone from your church? I would recommend that you try to get someone you know very well.

* If you have clothes and shoes in your closet that you haven't worn in a long time, get rid of them. Same thing with bed linens. Get rid of excess. It's that much less to collect dust or mold. Haven't you ever noticed the "old person" odor when you walk into someone's home? Just because you are getting older doesn't mean you should quit caring for your home and yourself. Be sure to bathe/shower daily. Don't forget to wash your hair! Get in the habit of laundering small loads instead of letting clothes and damp towels set around until you have a big load to wash. At least once a year, ask a strong person you know to come in and move furniture for you so that you can clean behind those items. Don't forget to take care of those curtains! Wash and dry or have them dry cleaned.

What I am still trying to get through my thick skull is to pace myself on the good days. Give myself less tasks to complete and to take frequent breaks. It is difficult to change our habits, but it can be done. I am having to break a lifelong habit of "Get all your work done and then you can rest."

A typical day for me goes like this:

Before getting out of bed, I thank the Lord for the day and for my family and ask Him to guide each of us in all we say and do that day.

Then it's time to get up, get dressed, and have a cup of hot tea with honey (sometimes I treat myself to a cup of coffee, black only) and watch the news with Hubby while waking up. Then it's time to prepare something for breakfast.

No, I do not wear heels around the house. It's socks and slippers during cold weather and sandals during hot weather. I don't wear a head covering, but I do like wearing an apron.

After breakfast I clean up the kitchen and then sit down to check email and decide what I'm going to try and accomplish that day. Depending on what is to be done, I remind myself that if it is going to take longer than 15-30 minutes, I MUST take a break. This is usually when I'll do a blog post or visit a few blogs and check emails again.

Since my Hubby is retired on disability, we have our lunch together around noon each day. If I'm having a good day, I will try to accomplish another task after lunch. If not, then I keep my hands busy. I'll do...knit or crochet.

As a homemaker, we all would love our husband and children to really take notice of what we do. Sometimes we feel we are taken for granted and wonder, "Is my family really grateful for the things I do around here?" You all KNOW what I'm saying. We don't expect them to come home everyday and gush over how clean the house looks, but every once in a while it's nice for one of them to thank us for what we do. Well, this feeling DOES happen to the man of the house. Here's what happened:

I've not been able to vacuum lately and my daughter has been busy and gone a lot. Hubby and I both have been having back troubles, but last Friday I was feeling a bit better and told him I had to get out of the house for a while. I went shopping.

Later in the afternoon, he said, "Did you notice I vacuumed?"

I looked down and said with a grin, "When did you do that?"

"While you were gone to town. You know when I vacuum, it really needs it!"

Then he said that he was going to wait and see if I noticed that he had vacuumed, but couldn't stand to wait any longer and had to tell me what he did. LOL! So, I thanked him. :) Written by Sharon from Sharon's Roses blog which has been deleted now...

That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children. To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.  Titus 2:4-5 

I guess I am essential too!



In Australia, we've just had that debate about what's essential. With this Corona Virus, we are at stage 3 which means we must stay home unless it's essential work and if we meet in groups of more than 2 people, we will be fined $1600 on the spot. 

Weddings with no more than 5 people: bride, groom, celebrant and two witnesses. No more than 10 at a funeral. And one is the deceased! 

It got me thinking about what is really essential. You know, in jobs and in relationships as well. I think for me, keeping a grateful heart for what we have, not focussing on what we've lost is essential.

For me, loving Chris, loving my home and loving God is essential. Living in the present is essential to mental health as well. So to me, hugging and loving our family at home is essential now.

Keeping in touch with family during this time of isolation is also essential to alleviate anxiety and missing them. Likewise, keeping up with prayer and Bible reading is essential always, but more so in a time of trouble. We need to keep the faith and remember the promises of God.

Home has never truly meant more than now with us needing to isolate ourselves and it is up to us wives and mothers to keep the homefires burning. 

Essentially keeping the home a welcoming and cosy place to come aside and allow this pestilence to pass is no small thing. I am taking this very seriously. 

We won't hear it in the media, but housewives are essential in keeping up morale in families.

Therefore, I guess I am essential too!


© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17b-18

A little bit of what you fancy


A maiden that is negligent in acquiring skills in the art of cooking should resolve to change and gain lessons that will assist her. A diligent young girl will read carefully and seek to learn all she can of rules, courtesies, and the keeping of a proper kitchen. She will delight to please her family and friends with pleasant tasting foods that she has prepared.” -Mrs. Martha Greene

I have a confession to make: I am not a good cook. Cooking is something I do because we need to eat but I don’t particularly enjoy it. But having said that, I must say that I do make every effort to cook meals that Chris enjoys and that are nutritious.

Something as basic as cooking should come naturally to us, but I am living proof that it doesn’t. Does that mean that I have given up and only serve canned goods or pre-packaged meals? Absolutely not!

Because I see that cooking is a vital part of keeping a home and most importantly, keeping a husband and children healthy, I often seek out recipes and tips to help me. I try to choose plain meals and I am most fortunate in that my husband loves meat, 2 veg and mashed potato! He would be happy with that for every meal.

Even knowing that he would be happy with a plain meal all the time, I try to vary it by alternating between vegetables and salads and methods of cooking. One night, I may serve a stew with the vegetables in that with a hefty serve of mashed potatoes. The next night it may be a grill with chips and salad. But basically, his favourite fare is meat based, with vegetables and mashed or chipped potato.

I feel that in preparing our menus that we should be diligent to take into account what our husband prefers and try to accommodate him. I have found that it is just as easy to prepare something he likes and enjoys than to try something new and find he doesn’t like it.

Being a good cook is important in your overall efforts to be a good homemaker. Memories are often centered around meals that were tasty and served with pleasant company. I feel there is nothing that deflates one’s spirit more than sitting down to a poorly cooked meal served with indifference.

Trying to feed your family well not only pays off dividends in better health through good nutrition, but it also livens ones’ spirit. Taking the time to plan and prepare meals will enhance family life and create a more pleasant meal time.

Let’s seek to improve our cooking as we remember the proverb that says “a little bit of what you fancy does you good!” It truly does everyone good!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Go now to the flock, and fetch me from thence two good kids of the goats; and I will make them savoury meat for thy father, such as he loveth:” Genesis 27:9

The four little tasks of home




It is nice to have a set routine of work to do at home.  One can go about the day with a remembrance of certain housekeeping duties that are necessary for each day.  Then, during the many breaks for rest, or visiting with guests, or a pleasant talk on the telephone, one finds refreshment and courage to go on.  The times of work and the times of rest, done with quiet courage, provide happiness in our homemaking.

The Four Little Tasks of Home

1.  There is the breakfast hour, which includes tea-time. First we prepare the meal and set a table.  I often set up a tray- table and sit in the parlour before anyone else is awake.  I am an early riser so I have my tea while the sun is just beginning to rise.  I enjoy this quiet time of resting from the brief bit of morning work.

Later, when the family has their eggs and toast, or fresh baked muffins with fruit, it is time to do the dishes.   We wash the table and the counters and do the sweeping.   All the work of tidying and making things neat are part of the breakfast duties.

2.  Often, during the morning hours, we do the laundry or the dusting and vacuuming. Each day has its special work.  It may be Wednesday is for washing floors. Perhaps Thursday is for cleaning the bathroom.  The mid-morning hours are a good time for many of us to do these special duties of making a home look pretty.

3.  The Lunch hour is such a wonderful time to stop and rest.  We put out a fresh, clean tablecloth.  I love my white-and-teal checkered cloth.  It looks so homey and old fashioned.  We can set up our plates and napkins. We can do this even if we are just serving grilled cheese sandwiches, pickles, and chips!  It makes the lunch - work like a reward when we sit at that pretty table and rest and eat while we enjoy the family.  Next we do the sweeping and the dishes, much like we did in the morning.

4.  The dinner hour is such a precious time in the day.  I often start working on the evening meal at 3 in the afternoon. I work slowly and take lots of breaks. Sometimes I peel potatoes and start getting a little casserole ready to bake.  Other times I might do much of the work for a pan of lasagna. I like to put these pans of prepared food in the refrigerator and then just take them out to bake when it is just about dinner time.  That way I get a great deal of rest between all the work.

Sitting with the family and hearing the blessing (or the prayer before the meal) is such a peaceful experience.  It is lovely to just sit and enjoy dinner at the end of a long day.  Then the work of tidying, doing the dishes, and sweeping the floor happens.  We make everything look neat and pretty. But I do not like to rush.  I do not want to just "get the work over-with." I take my time and go at a steady pace.  The work of cleaning and accomplishing the beautiful work of making a neat home makes me happy.  It also brings peace.

These four tasks of homemaking do not take a great deal of effort.  They may seem simple and ordinary.  They may seem mundane.  But if we dress up in something pretty, wearing an apron, and keeping our hair up in a pretty style, we may find ourselves enjoying the work.  I have an old blue-and-white gingham apron that I love to wear. It is getting old and ragged. I will have to make a new one this coming fall.  I need a fresh supply of lovely aprons to wear as I do the housekeeping.

When we look extra nice as we do our work, we can find joy in the labor.  Doing the little tasks of keeping house, each day, with a feeling of contentment, will bring a true feeling of comfort and happiness to the family.  It will help them feel welcome and loved in a happy and simple home.  by Mrs Sharon White of the Legacy of Home

 “[To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed”. Titus 2:5 ..


Not even on our worst day.



Whenever we sometimes question the why of doing our housework, let’s consider the end result of not doing it! These photos are pictures of an actual apartment in Houston which had been evacuated *prior to* not *because of* a hurricane! I will publish a picture and then the links to others as they are true lessons in the whys and wherefors of housekeeping!

Here is a link to more photos. Every type of filth is in that house (Check out the bathroom basin. If they had wings they would take off! ugh! ) Somehow, I don’t think this lady would get the prize for Housekeeper Of The Year!

It makes sense that in Titus we read the older ladies are to teach the younger ladies how to be domestic. Having a home like this certainly wouldn’t be an example of a Christian home! No Christian woman should keep her home like this, even if she is chronically ill. 

Most of us sacrificial home keepers usually manage to keep our homes basically clean and a scene like these wouldn't be a scene from any of our homes- not even on our worst day!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


 “[To be] discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed”. Titus 2:5 ..

Hunker down in cosy nests


So there are many changes to our lifestyle since the Corona Virus. They are extremely important if we are to stop its' spread. 

Currently we are in isolation with only essential services allowed to stay open. Even the doctors no longer want to see us unless it's of an urgent nature. 

Chris and I went to our doctor today for repeat prescriptions. He gave them to us and told us that last night the Australian government have implemented a Telemed system whereby you can ring the clinic and the doctor will fax your script to your chemist.

So now we are hunkering down, shopping online and worshiping online. Woolworths asked some details from us to prove we were either aged or disabled. They will only be doing online shops for us. Last week they emailed me to say I was approved. I am happy about that. 

For me, staying at home is not really a problem. I have plenty of opportunity to rest as my fibromyalgia flares, in fact I have been sleeping a good deal.

I have also been doing some decluttering and cooking soups for freezing. There are also some projects we are doing like finally putting pretty pictures up in the bedrooms and putting my electric blanket back on for the coming winter. 

I have been playing worship music and listening to the Psalms on You Tube. Last Sunday I took communion at home after a time of personal worship.  

It is important to remember that God is with us and is not surprised by this virus. If we do as we are told, and with His help, we will overcome.

Refuse to give way to fear- feel it, then bring it into the captivity of Christ. Fill yourself with songs of praise, pray and keep the faith. 

Keep your nest clean and comfortable and full of Spirit filled words and music. Make sure your pantry and fridge have sufficient food. Enjoy some peace from the rat race world. There is no better place than home to come apart from the world and let the pestilence dissipate.

So clean your nest, fill it with good things, keep cooking nice meals, and renew your marriage and family life and your faith as you hunker down in your cosy nest.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Come, my people, enter your chambers, And shut your doors behind you; Hide yourself, as it were, for a little moment, Until the indignation is past. Isaiah 26:20

No help for fibromyalgia sufferers here


I have to say that in general I haven't found any real help via my GP's or rheumatologists here in Australia regarding my fibromyalgia. I am on the disability pension because I can't concentrate enough to hold down a job (not mentioning pain because there are some days when it is manageable), but in general the doctors over here seem to think it's something one puts on to get out of work! (If they only knew how we want to be able to work- especially in our homes!)

There was however, one GP who wrote me out a referral to go to a pain management clinic. I haven't been because I do not want to mentally put myself in the chronic invalid basket. If I try not to focus too much on myself and the symptoms it seems to help me mentally at least So I am trying self-help. Which truly isn't very helpful!

I have seen a rheumatologist recently who openly admitted to me that rheumies are practically useless in helping with fibromyalgia. I nodded my head in agreement!

I have found more compassion for my heart problems than my fibromyalgia. I wonder if it is because that is something that they can see? Or is it just the Aussie "She'll be right Mate!" mentality of some over here? Whatever, I would dearly love people to understand that fibromyalgia is a medical problem every bit as painful as diseases that can be seen.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2

Memories of Mum's housekeeping


My mother was a good homemaker. Some of my earliest memories were of her hanging out washing on her long line held up by props.  She used to boil up the copper and honestly, she had the whitest washing ever.  She used Rinso to wash the clothes and Lux Flakes for delicates.

When I was really young, we didn't have hot water on tap, so Mum would boil up the kettle, fill the sink- a single sink- and she used a metal cage thing with slivers of Velvet soap in it to soap up the water. Steel wool was the go for saucepans and the plates were washed with a foam rubber sponge.

Whilst she was washing the dishes, she would have the kettle on again to rinse them. Then we children would dry them for her. We had metered gas by way of a machine with a coin slot in it in the laundry. When the gas got low, Mum would put sixpence or a shilling in it...

We all bathed daily and our hot water was heated by way of a chip heater over the bath. I can still remember fighting over who was the child who was to be seated under it. It was scary to a kid's mind. In fact, I sometimes still dream of it- making sure the water tap was on before lighting the pilot light.

Pride of place in our living room was the clothes horse aka clothes airer. Mum was very careful to air all our clothes and she spent quite a lot of time arranging clothes on it daily.

Mum had it tough too because we four children were bed wetters. She worked very hard to keep up with it all. 

With all her neighbours finishing their chores by 9am, poor Mum was still washing the sheets. In fact, when they called on her for a cuppa, she would be flustered because she was inundated with work.

Mondays Mum "did through".  She vacuumed, dusted, cleaned the bath and toilet and ironed. She also polished the linoleum in the kitchen with her Hoover polisher. It was quite a chore, with applying polish, buffing it with the machine then redoing it with the lambswool pads.  Her Monday routine was as regular as the sun coming up in the morning. 

Everyday, she would also make the beds, do her washing, think about what was for tea that night, clean her kitchen and sweep the carpets with a carpet sweeper. Routines were written in stone.

Mum didn't have a car, in fact Dad didn't even have one. She would catch the bus into town and shop for groceries which were delivered to our house. No plastic bags: the bags were brown paper...

I remembered how hard she worked the day I held her gnarled hand as she passed. She certainly loved her home and family... 

I am so glad that God honours the hardworking woman. In writing her eulogy, I included that well-known and loved verse from Proverbs 31 and when it was read, everyone of us nodded our heads in agreement and acknowledgement. She was blessed.

Memories of a well kept house we were never ashamed to call home will always be dear, along with the memories of a tired but diligent homemaker and her wonderful serving of our family, and then her  second husband's.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Her children arise up, and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praiseth her.  Proverbs 31:28

Domesticity is far away!

I have been pretty much bedridden this last week. For the first time I feel a little life in me so I am going to try to catch up on a bit of housework.I am really concerned about doing too much and burning out again, inducing another fibromyalgia flare. So I have to consider that as I plan my return to domesticity. I don't want another setback that puts me to bed again. It's all about spoons!

The journey back to domesticity is not without peril. There is a fine line between adequate expenditure of energy and exhaustion. Exhaustion can sneak up on you and bite you on the heel when you least expect it. Each day is a challenge as you will see in reading this post.... this is a typical day in the life of a chronically ill wife.

You can be managing quite nicely, up to your chin in folding clean clothes on your bed, when suddenly you wake with a start to find that you have fallen asleep and dribbled all over your husbands' underpants and shirts.Or you can plunge your hand into a sink of the cold and slimy water for soaking dishes left over from yesterdays' dinner that were supposed to be done as soon as you got your second wind after cooking last night. Only the second wind didn't come: not even a breeze!

Vacuuming can take forever as you find that the bag needs emptying and you can't find a new one and as you search, you smell a rancid odour from the washer, where you find yesterdays' wash finished and patiently waiting to be hung out. The washer is reset to rinse the smelly load but you forget to look for the vacuum bag as you fret about how many spoons it will cost to hang the clothes out.

Starting to feel anxious and overwhelmed, you decide to have a cup of tea. A donut in the pantry calls your name and as you open the microwave to heat it, you are surprised by your bowl of porridge left there at 6 am when you got your husband's breakfast. Pulling a tissue out of the box, you have a little cry into your cup of tea as you munch your donut. You are hungry because you didn't actually eat breakfast after all.

Sick at heart and already feeling tired, you decide to just chuck the clothes in the dryer, soak the dishes in fresh hot soapy water for washing later on in the afternoon and you have a nap... after all, a nana nap will help your brain fog clear and you can catch up then. But the afternoon brings it own set of woes as you wake feeling worse. 

You consult your menu list only to find that even though you intended to get the meat out to defrost this morning, you had suddenly felt compelled to double check that you had taken your meds and then you forgot about the meat. With your confidence rattled, you wash the pans that are needed for tonight's cooking and resolve for the hundredth time today to do better.

Eventually the day draws to a close with the evenings' dishes soaking in the sink ready for that elusive second wind. And as you feed the cat and take your evening meds, you wonder if tomorrow will be any better...Lying in bed and in a funk bordering on depression, you start to pray for strength for the morrow and a restful nights' sleep. Only no thoughts come to pray with sense and you are swept into a fitful sleep on a long sighhhhh. 

So ends another day and domesticity is still far far away.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


"For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. " Isaiah 41:13

It's a beautiful evening


The sun is sinking under the nearby hills, leaving pink streaks in the sky. I have drawn the drapes and lit the lamps.

My dishes from dinner are drying in the drainer. Xena has been fed and is indoors sitting with her Dad, Chris.

The weather is slightly cool and we have put our fire on low which gives a cosy effect. I love my home, my husband and my cat... and of course, my God.

Not only has He blessed us with a lovely home to live in, but He graciously gave me a few surprise spoons (energy) this afternoon. I managed to do what was on my list, plus I finished off putting all my clean washing away.

We live a simple life, but it is one of contentment and joy. I am believing for a good sleep tonight. I have already taken my medications and I can retire any time after an hour. I must remain upright and awake for an hour after taking them or my sleep is fitful and sore. I know that if I lay down soon after taking them that I can either have GERD or aspirate some acid and develop pneumonia. I have had pneumonia three times. I don't know why my sleep is fitful and my muscles sore if I don't wait an hour, but I am sick of trying to work it out: It is what it is.

Soon I will join Chris in the lounge room and no doubt Xena will jump up onto my lap for a cuddle and cat nap. As soon as she hears me say I am going to B.E.D. she springs off my lap and nearly trips me up to get there before me. I have to spell B.E.D. because she knows the word- yes she does. She's a smart girlie!

As I lay thanking God for the good in each day before I sleep, I can be sure of one thing: my little feline mate will be under the covers, pressed up against my back. She is always purring at night and I have no doubt that she too is grateful for the ending day. And for a Mum who overlooks cat fur and her tickling cat whiskers!  All in all, it's a beautiful evening! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious ... To take rest late, To eat the bread of toil; For so he giveth unto his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:2

When an aspirin won't fix it



When it comes to Fibromyalgia many people – men and women – have reported a reduction in their libido due to the sometimes chronic nature of the condition. Sometimes Fibromyalgia sufferers can feel perfectly well and are willing to make love but a ‘flare-up’ can put paid to such willingness.

The sheer unpredictability of the condition is such that it can leave one or both partners feeling as though they are not wanted and that perhaps the other partner is making excuses; this is simply not the case.

Sufferers of Fibromyalgia, especially in its chronic form, find it difficult to make love because of the levels of pain they have to endure. Making love requires a considerable amount of bodily movement and if the trigger points flare up then this movement can be painful or at the very least uncomfortable.

Another problem with Fibromyalgia is the way in which an individual’s body weight can fluctuate; this too has consequences on the libido, making the sufferer feel as though they are unable to perform and instilling in them a lack of self-confidence which manifests itself as a lack of libido.

It is important to emphasise that a lack of libido can be turned around either by reducing stress and anxiety or by changing one’s daily routine. Your doctor will not necessarily prescribe any medication to help combat this problem as there is not really much that can be done physically about the condition.

I think it is very important to reassure your husband that you still love him even though you are hurting too much for intimacy. In areas of chronic pain and illness, communication must be open so that there are no silent doubts about whether you as a wife, still love your husband.

So important is this area of intimacy in marriage, that I would suggest that you be willing to try to accommodate your husband at any reasonable time, instead of just at night when you are understandably tired out. If lovemaking is simply impossible, remember to caress and cuddle your husband. author unknown

Remember to be demonstrative and vocal with letting your husband know you love him. He will most likely be feeling anxious that he can't help you in your suffering. Fibromyalgia flares can't be fixed by taking a few aspirins.

Blessings, Glenys 

My beloved is white and ruddy, chief among ten thousand. Song of Songs 5:10

Feeling a bit washed out!


As you probably know, we live in a fifth wheeler RV full-time.  It has some benefits which I am slowly starting to see, with compact living that reduces the work needed to maintain it a bonus.

We are by the sea at Seaspray Caravan Park. The weather has been great, but last night it rapidly became colder and today it is muggy and raining.
This doesn't normally worry me, but as a sufferer of fibromyalgia, it often brings on a flare and it has. I am overwhelmed with muscle and body aches and tiredness.
Although living in a RV makes it easier to keep clean and maintain, there are many things that need to be done daily. Especially when you have a cat that lives inside.
There are meals to cook and clothes to wash as well, and even when housework's shared with a partner, there are some things that a woman just has to do in homemaking. Life in a RV isn't just a long holiday.
As I type, I can see our bed and it is calling my name. Chris is going to tuck me in for a nana nap. Hopefully I will feel better after that and will have enough energy to cook a Shepherd's Pie for dinner.
After I am tucked up in bed, Chris has promised to run the Dyson Stick Vacuum over the floors. For the first time I am glad there aren't a lot of floors to do.
But for not the first time, I am glad that we have a queen sized cosy bed just feet away from me. I am going up the three steps to it as soon as I post this.
So much for one long vacation: fibromyalgia doesn't take a holiday. I am feeling a bit washed out.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31:24

Welcome Validation: False Guilt's cousin



Sometimes when I am having a flare of my fibromyalgia, I find that I need to feel validated in my sufferings. Not many people believe that fibromyalgia is real, and when you feel wiped out with chronic fatigue, endless pain and brain fog for weeks at a time, you can suffer from False Guilt. This is a cousin to needing Validation. So, feeling like that, I decided to look up some sites and recap the symptoms of the complaint. Here they are:

Fibromyalgia produces widespread pain, disturbed sleep, and exhaustion from head to toe.1 Fibromyalgia means pain in the muscles, ligaments, and tendons—the soft fibrous tissues of the body. Although the muscles hurt everywhere, they are not the only cause of the pain. Instead, the diffuse, body-wide symptoms are greatly magnified by malfunctions in the way the nervous system processes pain.2,3

Regional muscle pain not related to arthritis or the nervous system also occurs in the majority of people with fibromyalgia.4 Patients describe this as firm knots in the belly of muscles, often causing restricted movement and radiating pain.5 These muscle nodules are myofascial trigger points and some researchers suspect that these painful areas overlap with the tender points used to diagnose fibromyalgia.6

The symptoms of fibromyalgia are unpredictable and most patients are frustrated by their physical limitations and inability to make plans. You may feel as though you have to "push yourself" to get things done.7

Most patients with fibromyalgia say that their muscles feel like they have been pulled or overworked, and sometimes they twitch or cramp.8 Even the skin may feel badly sunburned.9 To help your family and friends relate to your fibromyalgia symptoms, have them think back to the last time they had a bad flu. Every muscle in their body shouted out in pain. In addition, they felt devoid of energy as though someone had unplugged their power supply.

Given that the symptoms may be similar to a viral flu, experts in the field of fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome believe that these two illnesses may be one and the same.10 Gulf War syndrome also overlaps with these two conditions.11
Common symptoms:

Pain - Fibromyalgia pain has no boundaries. People describe the pain as deep muscular aching, throbbing, shooting, stabbing, or intense burning. Quite often, the pain and stiffness are worse in the morning, and muscle groups that are used repetitively may hurt more.12 In addition, the severity of regional pains (particularly those in the head, neck, shoulders and lower back) are a strong predictor of a person's overall pain rating.13 The muscles in these painful areas can feel tight, knotted and rope-like. Pressing on the firm, knotted region hurts and often causes the pain to shoot to other muscles when a myofascial trigger point is present.

Fatigue - This symptom can be one of the most incapacitating for people with fibromyalgia. Patients may feel as though their arms and legs are weighted down by concrete blocks and their bodies may be so drained of energy that every task is an effort.7

Memory and Concentration - Difficulty concentrating and retaining new information may seriously interfere with everyday mental tasks.14 This symptom is referred to as "fibro fog" and may hinder job opportunities. In particular, fibromyalgia patients have serious difficulty retaining new information if they are distracted.15

Sleep Disorders - Patients report trouble falling asleep and more importantly staying asleep, but the unrefreshing quality is what makes the disorder much worse than insomnia. Repeat arousals prevent patients from reaching deep, restorative sleep.16 As a result, the night is spent in "quasi-sleep" and patients wake up feeling as though they have been run over by a Mack truck. An overnight sleep study will likely show repeat arousals with bursts of awake-like brain activity occurring throughout the night, but a specific sleep disorder may not be identified.17

Exercise Difficulties - Moderate intensity exercise activates a powerful pain-relieving system in healthy people, but it makes the pain of fibromyalgia worse.18 This is why initiating an exercise program may make you achy and tired. However, if you do not exercise on a regular basis, the performance of normal daily living activities will start to cause more pain. Rather than give in to the increased pain sensitivity related to exercise, patients are advised to do mild exercise in short intervals (such as five minutes at a time) to keep the muscles fit while not over-taxing them. A study in Sweden revealed that half of the fibromyalgia patients found it impossible or difficult to climb stairs and a majority of patients could not run. Just standing for five minutes was extremely taxing to one-fourth of the patients.19

Irritable Bowel Syndrome - Constipation, diarrhea, frequent abdominal pain and bloating, abdominal gas, and nausea represent symptoms commonly found in roughly 40 to 70 percent of fibromyalgia patients.20

Chronic Headaches - Recurrent migraine or tension headaches are experienced by 50 to 70 percent of fibromyalgia patients. Most headaches are rated as severe, occur at least two times per week, and often have a migraine component.21 Referred pain from myofascial trigger points in the shoulder, neck, and head muscles are suspected to be responsible for most tension-type headache and also play a role in migraines.22

Jaw Pain - Temporomandibular joint dysfunction causes tremendous jaw-related face and head pain and affects one-quarter of fibromyalgia patients. Typically, the problems are related to the muscles and ligaments surrounding the jaw joint and not necessarily the joint itself.23

Other Common Symptoms - Non-cardiac chest pain, acid reflux, irregular heart beat or palpitations, shortness of breath, numbness and tingling sensations, the feeling of swollen extremities, chemical sensitivities, nasal congestion, premenstrual syndrome and painful periods, irritable bladder, interstitial cystitis, vulvodynia (vulvar pain), difficulty focusing eyes, dry or burning eyes and mouth, dizziness or feeling faint, profuse sweating, muscle weakness and balance issues can occur.24,25,26 Fibromyalgia patients are often sensitive to odors, loud noises, bright lights, some foods, and often the medications that they are prescribed.27

Aggravating Factors - Changes in weather, cold or drafty environments, hormonal fluctuations (premenstrual and menopausal states), stress, depression, anxiety, and over-exertion can all contribute to fibromyalgia symptom flare-ups.12
Fibromyalgia Quick Facts

* Affects 3 to 5 percent of the general population28
* Occurs in people of all ages, even children
* Men develop fibromyalgia too, although more women are diagnosed with it
* Symptoms are chronic but may fluctuate throughout the day
* Roughly one-quarter of people with fibromyalgia are work-disabled12

The general consensus here in Australia is that fibromyalgia is all in ones' head and that the sufferer is a malingerer. Certainly this exacerbates False Guilt and invites his cousin, Validation into the scene. Although I am aware of false guilt leading to me wanting to feel validated, I still succumb to it at times of prolonged flares such as this one I am experiencing at the moment.

I have *every* one of these symptoms, so I feel validated. So welcome Validation: hopefully he and his cousin won't be staying long!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD. Psalm 31:24

Emulating the Proverbs 31 woman



The Proverbs 31 woman is an example of a godly wife. It's not something we are going to be able to do all at once and for some of us, we may never accomplish all she did. But I believe emulating her example is a good thing. We have to have a goal. If you aim for nothing, you are always going to hit it. I used to get up real early, about 4.30 to get my husband off to work. I would have my quiet time then before my 4 children would wake up.

This worked for me when they were quite tiny too and I just carried it through. Until about 22 years ago when illness came in. I don't sleep well and wake up in lots of pain and I find if I try to get into the Word the fibro fog makes it impossible to focus. I don’t glean much from the Word and my prayers are disjointed. I put on some praise and worship music and just thank the LORD for giving some sleep and so on. After a hot shower and breakfast, I can study the Word and pray better. I think anyone with an illness or pregnant, or who has had a sleepless night with a sick child etc, has to be realistic and in tune with their body. She has to know what her own limitations are and modify what is an excellent goal to achieve it.

My modified morning routine now works better for me. And let's face it, any time is a good time to be in the Word! We all have to work out when it is best for us....then do it. My time of choice would be early mornings though. But I have had to learn to modify things in order to achieve them. And later is better than never! I believe that for all of us women trying to live a godly life, the Proverbs 31 woman is a guide of what to strive for. Even if we can't achieve all she has done (and you will notice that she achieved this over seasons of her life- not all at once!), still our hearts will be in the right place.

If women look at the whole picture with the view of doing it all NOW or not modifying it for themselves, they will most likely give up and not even try to emulate her example. Sometimes there are unresolved heart issues that the LORD has to work through with some women who won’t even try to emulate the Proverbs 31 woman. Not even with modifications. It may take some time until they are convinced that this holy calling in their lives is truly for their own good and contentment. Sometimes it takes a lot of washing with the Word before the soil of the world is cleared out of some women's eyes. They just need encouragement as God works in their lives.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks


‘She girds herself with strength, and strengthens her arms.’ Proverbs 31:17