We must be overcomers!

Sometimes it is easy to give into the depression that pain from chronic illness can bring. Especially when we have lost sleep or had an unrestful night. It is so easy to allow the pain that sometimes overwhelms us in the morning to colour our whole day. We must try to overcome that because if we don't, we will make matters worse.

It is true that our thinking patterns dictate how our day to day living is going to be. We can literally talk ourselves into having a worse day than what it is. How? you say... by not clinging to the LORD and taking all of our thoughts into the captivity of Christ. In order to stop the continual downward spiral of depression that pain brings, it is imperative that we try to redirect our thoughts and literally force our focus onto something other than our pain.

We should treat ourselves with the pain relief that our doctor has given us, take our other medications and do whatever else we can to relieve it. Then we must try to focus our attention onto what we can achieve that will lift us up. Because if we don't, we will talk ourselves into such a state that it will exacerbate the pain. Thoughts can and will do that- and serve up a great dish of depression that is hard to shake.

Now please don't throw tomatoes at me for being direct, because I suffer pain in movement and just in breathing every moment of every day. I speak to you on your level and with understanding. That is why I know the reality of pain and its effect on our life. I know that to live a reasonably personally satisfying life, we must overcome the pain by redirecting our focus!

When I am in so much pain that I cannot stand it, I listen to worship music, blog or write my feelings in poetry. Poetry can be a healing medium and a release. Another thing I avoid like the plague is forums for disabled or chronically ill people. Why? Because they force us to focus on others' pain.... this can be too much to bear when we have our own. Believe me, you can dwell too much on your disability and pain and weaken your enjoyment of life.

Enjoyment of life? what enjoyment is there in life? you ask. There is always something to enjoy in life, even in the worst of times. Vision, hearing, touch, love, dear ones, sunshine, birds singing, coffee brewing, soft sheets, warm showers, freshly fallen rain, restful sleep after pain. I am sure you could add to the list. If you don't shift your focus, you will definitely sink into the Pit of Despair. And you *don't* want to go there!

What I am saying is that those of us who suffer from unrelenting pain *have to* make a supreme effort to shift our focus onto something *greater* than the pain. Because pain will be our constant companion, we therefore have to *live* above the pain factor. Easier said than done, you say! Of course it is, but what alternative do we have?

We have to overcome the psychological effects of pain as much as we are able or else our life will be one of constant distress and frustration. Lift your thoughts to a higher place if you can, and lean on God. It will be hard to not make matters worse for ourselves by refusing to accept our illness, but we must be overcomers...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

[When thou saidst], Seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, Thy face, LORD, will I seek. Psalm 27:8

They suffer in silence

I write to encourage chronically ill women, but I know there are many men who follow with us, walking the long weary journey of pain with all its' ramifications. 

Men are often the butt of jokes regarding "man flu" and so on, making out that  they can't cope with pain or illness like we women. They are made out to be babies when it comes to illness: but I beg to differ.

I have seen chronic illness in men first hand with my own father and later step-father. Dad died at 50 and in his short life he battled through 8 heart attacks and 3 strokes. Even feeling at his worst, usually only a few weeks after a heart attack, he would front up to work in order to keep Mum and us 4 children. Even when taped up with broken ribs, Dad still went to work every day. He was my hero!

Forever stoic, he amazed the doctors when just days after his open heart surgery he raised his arms high during physio, ignoring the pain. He was determined to work through it all and get on with his life. Sadly this didn't happen and he died just 6 weeks after from complications. 

My step-father fought a brave battle with emphysema, forever cheerful through gasped breaths. He too worked through pain to keep his family with 3 children and took on the role of carer for his first wife as she fought a brave battle with breast cancer. It was very rare that he bemoaned his twisted hands with arthritis from working outdoors filling petrol tanks on cars docked on the wharf and walking miles every day up and down those wharves.

So stoic was my step-father that the day before he died when he felt a bit agitated, I massaged his feet and cut his toenails, only to find the most deformed and gnarled feet that it took my breath away. Not a word of complaint all those years at work! 

I sometimes wonder why ill men often don't make a fuss about their illness. I believe it is because men have been portrayed as strong at all times. And they certainly never cry. Yet to me, it would be somewhat therapeutic if they could cry, even in private. 

Tears could come for all the physical pain involved in illness, all the anxiety of tests or chemo or surgeries or even needles. And surely a tear could expel some deep fears of not being able to earn enough to provide not only for family, but medical aid. But you rarely find a man will allow himself to break down, even momentarily.

It is common knowledge that most men won't see a doctor until they are truly ill. They continue steadfastly working and hoping that what ails them will pass. They are no sissy as jokes proclaim.

I do not like jokes about sick men. They (you if you are a man), carry not only the burden of their illness, but the burden of being a provider. They carry the burden of society's stereo-typing of their gender. Tough. Unbreakable. Superhuman. A big burden which causes tired shoulders to wilt. 

To the sick men out there, I pray that you will find someone or somewhere to let down your guard and facade.  I pray not only for your healing physically, but emotionally. I am praying for you to be respected as worthy of compassion and care. I want those who you serve and for whom you strive every. single. day. to appreciate your sacrificial love for them. And I want validation for you as chronically ill people. 

 You guys rock! So thank you from all of us who know you and love you. May the LORD richly bless you as you suffer in silence. For despite the jokes, reality says that you really do.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth. 3 John 1:2

In the round file

As you know, yesterday I turned 66 and as one often does on a birthday, it reminded me of a former birthday when I was working outside the home...

Still engaged to Chris, I was needing to work to save for our wedding and for a deposit on our home. I had previously worked in office administration, school offices and employment agencies. I ended up in a Human Resources office in customer service for those looking for employment. It was a plum job in our capital city, Melbourne.

The day my eyes were opened to the fact that employment agencies don't care if you find a job or not was in fact my 45th birthday and it was my job description to short list the many resumes that came to our office. Those who were deemed appropriate for a certain position were put in the short list for an interview with one of our human resources personnel and others were placed in the "round file" aka the bin for later shredding.

I had prepared a short list of highly skilled and suitable applicants for jobs and I truly believed they would have been worthy of an interview. To my shock, they were dumped back on my desk and I was given strict instructions to cull them further from now on and put any applicants who were 45 years old or over in the round file. I was so angry!

Protesting, I said that many were people with school aged children just trying to put bread and butter on the table and pay off a mortgage or rent. Further, I stated that they were in the middle of their child raising years and needed a job. I also pointed out that "today" was my own 45th birthday, and here I was, chucking them into the round file! 

Their only response was "do as you are told" and later on, as was the custom on a birthday,  I brought in a cake to share with them at lunch, their response was to boycott both myself and my cake. 

Finally, I was made to take note of the poor applicants who were put in the round file for shredding and tell them that unfortunately they were unsuccessful at this time. In response to their questions and protests, I had a script I read from... "I am sorry, but there were so many applicants for this position and unfortunately you weren't as highly qualified as them... yada yada"  they couldn't even be honest to their clients.

I was saddened and angry with these girls who really had tickets on themselves and who, in spite of doing professional courses and having degrees in Human Resources, had no people skills or compassion. It really was the pits to be forced to lie to these applicants just trying to make ends meet and provide for their family.  With Chris's permission, I quit working there and went on to work in office administration until we were married.

Why do I tell you this? you ask. Because I don't want you visiting the Pit of Despair and thinking you are of little value to the workforce. It isn't you. It's them. And the only choice you have is to know that not all Employment Agencies are like them and you have to keep trying.

Keep your head up, and your confidence intact. And pray for an agency that values the older worker. It was something I did for every application I had to place in the round file and for everyone I had to contact as unsuccessful. Prayer changes things, so remember that with God, we are never placed in the round file and lied to.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

No immunity for trials

None of us is immune to trials and tribulation. This week has seen a few trials overtake me that have rocked me to the core...

One is Chris. He has had an abnormal ECG following chest pain and angina that settles after Anginine under the tongue. There is some residual damage from a heart scare about 3 years ago, wherein he was discharged from hospital after being told all was well. Obviously, it wasn't. Chris is having another test today, a stress test. We will know more after that.

Then yesterday I was told that one of my beloved grandchildren has Tourettes Syndrome. Mild. But. Wow! A super grand whammy to the parents and myself. This came a day after my mother was taken to hospital with a suspected stroke and heart pain. She was discharged and told to rest. But I know she won't and the stress with her is disabling in itself...

With my illnesses, namely heart disease and fibromyalgia/lupus and polymyalgia rheumatica, the stress has culminated in a flare up of ill health.

I am in considerable pain. The Pit of Despair is looming, but I don't want to go there. After the initial whammy blow yesterday, I clung to the LORD. And I can say that He truly soothed my soul.
In faith, I am believing that Chris will be OK. And even if he too needs stents like me, well at least he too got a warning that all was not well instead of just dropping dead.

My grandchild is very clever and will be able to lead a normal life. Our main task will be educating family, friends, peers and teachers about it so that the child is accepted and not made to feel foolish or inferior.

My mother didn't have a stroke or a problem with her pacemaker. She had a bladder infection and gastritis. With rest and medication, she will recover.

The Pit of Despair was looming yesterday and was open wide last night when I went to bed. But I sought the LORD and He ministered to me in a mighty way.

In all this, I was able to thank Him and focus on that which is good.There is much to be done today as I face another busy day at home, and although I have been refreshed in spirit, my body is a different matter.

I just can't seem to stop it from going in flare up mode even after I have been comforted. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.

At least I know that God knows how I am struggling at the moment, and has compassion on me.I have found that focusing on God's goodness and love is an important step when trials and adversity overcome me.

Without Him, I would not be able to function at all. I am so glad for our Saviour and the prayers of the Saints.

Speaking of which, please hold us all up in prayer. I so appreciate it. Together we can give thanks. But whatever befalls me: this I know, God is good! Which is just as well, because there's no immunity for trials...

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

These things I have spoken unto you, that in me ye might have peace. In the world ye shall have tribulation: but be of good cheer; I have overcome the world. John 16:33

Hanging on by a thread

We chronically ill women always have times when we feel that we are barely holding it all together. We are literally becoming unravelled and we feel like we are hanging on by a thread.

Flares, unrelenting pain, immeasurable fatigue, depression and lack of restorative sleep can all add to the feeling that we can't go on. Even breathing seems like an effort.

It is in those times that we must reach out to God and ask Him to give us the strength to get through each day- or especially the night which seems the longest when we long to sleep but can't.

We need to try to listen to the Word or put on some Christian worship music, and give ourselves over to relaxing as much as is possible for someone in the grip of pain or depression. But we have to focus on something positive, or else we will be getting a one way to the Pit of Despair. We don't want to go there.

By focusing on something positive, we can actually release endorphins, those chemicals that reduce pain and increase a feeling of well-being. 

Reaching out to God during these times is critical to our staying in control emotionally. But we must do it, in faith.

If the woman with the issue of blood hadn't reached out to Jesus by touching the hem of His garment, she would not have been healed.

I am not necessarily saying that you will get healed, even though it is possible of course. But you will be lifted up to a higher level of coping with it all.

Worship and praising God whilst suffering is the most exquisitely beautiful act of trust and reverence. It will lift us up and set the enemy of our souls to flight.

So, next time you are feeling you are hanging by a thread, make sure it's the hem of Christ's garment.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And suddenly, a woman who had a flow of blood for twelve years came from behind and touched the hem of His garment. Matthew 9.20

Taking my medicine gladly

There was a time when I fought taking medicines. It was at a time when the sermons were about what you say is what you get. Claiming your healing in Jesus' Name and getting healed: if you didn't, you lacked the faith to make it so. I now believe that this is unbalanced teaching and do not follow it. However, at the time it made me feel very guilty about taking my medicine.

I do believe that God heals today. And I do believe that faith can make you well. But I have lived long enough with chronic illness to know that this doesn't happen all the time and that most times our prayer should be "if it is Thy will, please heal me!" Faith teachings often miss the fact that God is God! His Will may not be an immediate healing...I don't know why: I just know that I must accept my health as being in His Will. To struggle against this is to make yourself worse through faulty and negative thinking. We are called to walk in faith, not by sight.

In those years, I felt extremely guilty because I suffered from depression that was caused by a chemical imbalance. I tried many times to come off my tablets, usually after a healing crusade, and I fell- straight into the Pit of Despair. This fall often required more medication than before to get me to the place of health I was in when I thought I had been healed. And it took many many weeks of feeling awful before they kicked in again. Not a good place to be.

As I grew in my faith and relinquished my health to the LORD, I acquired many more medications. All of them are vitally important to keep my heart functioning, my blood pressure normal, my blood thin, my cholesterol down, to prevent my kidneys from making kidney stones and to regulate my under active thyroid. Not to mention other things to keep my eyes from drying out and to minimise the pain of fibromyalgia and back problems and to reduce the gastric acid that some medications cause. And of course, the anti-depressants to normalise my neuro-transmitters.

Once I would have held these tablets in my hand and fought taking them. Not any more. I now adopt a spirit of gratitude as I take my medications, for without them I would not be alive for very long. I feel that my medications are a gift from God to allow me to love and serve Him a little longer here and now. Life is after all, God's Will and I am grateful for each new day.

I believe that God gave man the ability to make medications and that ensuring a better quality of life is in God's Will. For Christ came to give us abundant life. Laying in a sick bed with angina and pain is not an abundant life.

I would urge you to have a rethink about your medicines if you have been told that they aren't in God's Will for you. Try to adopt a glad and grateful attitude as you take them. Rejoice that you live in a place in the world where they are available and be glad. Joy and life are in the Will of God, or else why would we see Christ healing many ill and afflicted people? He told us He came to do the Will of His Father!

May you be well, no matter what it takes and may we bless the LORD together for His goodness to us!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

How God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him. Acts 10:38