Morning Cuppas With Glenys

Perfect for all generations

In a world that is constantly changing in standards and morality, it is comforting to know that every time we read scripture that it is unchanging.

God's Word addresses all mankind's needs and is an infallible guide to living righteously. Most importantly, it is the only way in which we can truly know God and take His offer of salvation.

As with all else in our world, many people are constantly picking and choosing verses and adapting them to suit their own plans and agenda. They bend God's Word to suit themselves...

No doubt we have heard people declare that God's Word was written for mankind many years ago, and surely is not relevant to today.

We have all heard similar to this: "Surely in this day and age, we are not expected to..."

to marry instead of cohabiting
to get married before having children
to be celibate until marriage
to keep our marriage vows
to continue with an unplanned pregnancy
to submit to our husband as unto the LORD
to serve our family as a stay at home wife and mother
to trust the LORD with our family size
to honour our father and mother
to bring our children up before the LORD
to tithe a tenth of our income
to teach our children about God
to pray and to teach our children to pray
to give thanks for our food
to teach our children to respect the authorities
to educate our children at home or at a Christian school
to watch over our household and guard it zealously
to watch our speech, speaking in love
to train our daughters in homemaking
to teach our sons to respect women
to remain in a marriage that is causing unhappiness (I am not talking about abuse)
to train ourselves to take personal responsibility in our actions and to teach our children to
to teach our children that God created marriage for a man and a woman and that the homosexual life style is sinful

God's Word is true and unchangeable. This brings us a certain comfort in knowing that we have direction in Christian living. We have direction in bringing up our children to be God fearing citizens.

God Himself is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. His Word does not return to Him void. He will fulfill all His promises to us.

By taking His Word seriously, we will live a life that is not only satisfying to us, but pleasing to God.

The wise woman will listen to it, live it and pass it on to her children through example. It is the very stability of the Word that is our rock as well as our salvation and it is perfect for all generations.

“In the fear of the LORD [is] strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge ’ Proverbs 14:26

It's calling my name!

Today is a mild day weather wise. We are sitting on 20C with mild winds and no storm activity. I am sitting here wondering why I have no spoons and am lacking the energy even to have a shower.

Fibromyalgia is a mystery to me. Just as I think I have it worked out, a new or worsened flare springs me unawares, and I find myself unable to think clearly. Even my eyes have trouble focussing today, so pacing myself's not going to work.

There's much to do here as well because I have been in a flare for a few days now. I am even too tired and sore to follow any lists at all. Except Thursdays' List. All one does on Thursdays is rest. I think I will have to treat today as a Thursday. Which is the beauty of Lists: you can exchange days to accommodate how you feel....

There's a few things I must do today:

~~Cook a beef stew in the slow cooker~~
~~Rest~~

The first one is done and the second is a work in progress. I feel no false guilt anymore. It's the only way I can get over this flare. Otherwise tomorrow will be just like today where it's all too much.

For today, rest is my own prescription to get well. Besides, I can hear my bed: it's calling my name!

Don't lose hope!

Not so bad after all

As a young mother with 4 children under 5, I often felt woefully inadequate as a housewife and a mother. It wasn’t because I wasn’t trying to excel at these things, it was just my perception of myself. There never seemed enough hours in the day to accomplish what had to be done and I often felt frustrated with myself. This changed dramatically one day when I was taken to my friend’s sister-in-law’s house.

It was about 1 pm, when we arrived and although we had been invited to come for a visit, we were appalled by the lack of cleanliness, the untidiness and the obvious squalor around us. But what horrified us most was my friend’s 12 month old nephew standing in a dirty cot, soiled nappy and ragged singlet, crying and flushed whilst his mother sat unperturbed reading in the dust covered living room.

My friend immediately swooped on her nephew and comforted him. She inquired of his mother if he was hungry- she replied that she had given him a bottle in the morning. We looked in the cot and there was an empty feeding bottle complete with flies on the teat. We felt revolted. The unmistakable odour of the soiled nappy was overwhelming and when my friend took it off to change the little fellow, it revealed red blistered welts where his nappy had been. Immediately the child was given a warm bath and his nappy rash was plastered in Vaseline- there wasn’t anything else in the house for it.

All the time, the child’s mother kept reading, seemingly oblivious to us. It was very disconcerting. We opened the fridge to get something for the little boy and it was growing all types of green mould. The milk was out of date. The pantry was under stocked to say the least, and all we could rustle up for the baby was an egg in bread crumbs. He was starving and we were angry and sad.

My friend rinsed out the soiled nappy and singlet and opened the lid of the washer. We exchanged shocked glances as the rancid smell of half washed clothes met our nostrils. As the clothes were going mouldy, we presumed they had been there a long time. And there was no excuse for this laziness, because the child’s father had bought his fiancee a new washing machine during the pregnancy.

That day, I learnt a lot about myself. I learnt that I was too hard on myself, too perfectionistic and unrealistic. My children and home were never even on a really bad day, as bad as that. I learnt that I was not lazy, incompetent, or backward- I was exhausted and overwhelmed. Not so with this girl!

What was wrong with this girl? She only wanted to do what she liked doing- reading. That was what consumed her time and life- books. Not her little boy or her impending marriage, (which didn’t take place fortunately) but just her desires were her life. She could not see anything wrong in that. And she was a very well read and quite intelligent woman. She was to come to see that it did matter indeed.

She told my friend’s brother when it all came crashing around her ears, that she didn’t want to have to keep the house clean, look after her baby and tend to his needs. She wasn’t harming anybody by reading and she couldn’t see what the fuss was about. We were incredulous that someone could be so self-centered and unenlightened about life. And totally indifferent to her child- not even a toy was in his cot the day we visited!

The washing would get done- eventually. The child would be fed- eventually. He would be taken to the doctor when he was suffering earache- eventually- but not before repeated ear infections made him deaf in one ear.

I couldn’t help but see the contrast between the Proverbs 31 woman and her. And I certainly wasn't evenly remotely close to this selfish woman. So I lightened up and relaxed a bit. I stopped being over perfectionistic and settled for a balanced approach. I enjoyed my children more. And I made sure that I never put off doing something just because I didn’t feel like doing it.

Now whenever I see a well-kept baby, I always remember another one- a sad, hungry and dirty little baby boy with a mop of blonde curls and a dirty nappy. And I thank God that He gave him into his Daddy’s caring hands.

Looking back, I wish I could tell the younger me that I wasn't so bad after all!

Ecclesiastes 10:18 “By much slothfulness the building decayeth; and through idleness of the hands the house droppeth through,"

Choose joy.

A lot of horrible things have been happening in my life lately and although they have been resolved now, it has taken a toll on me. I have not only suffered emotionally and physically, but spiritually as well.

You could say that the evil one has been working overtime to destroy me and what I hold most dear to me, and it has taken all my strength to withstand him and to be still standing. Even with God, it was most difficult.

With all the stress, my fibromyalgia flared, my immune system weakened and I succumbed to a (non Covid) upper respiratory infection that felt like the mumps or glandular fever again.

Under attack, I shot up arrow prayers as I gasped for air. It was an intensive battle.

I wrestled with the repercussions of the attack and slowly gained back ground: still standing, I admit I was bloodied and bruised and very wrung out and dry.

Depression overtook me for a while- depression brought on by the evilness of the attack on me and the depths of sin of man... and I struggled to comprehend it.

In prayer, I asked God how can someone- previously a friend, stoop so low as to not only betray but destroy a person? In response, the answer that came into my spirit was "Why be surprised?"

Indeed- Jesus would know the depth of sin and hardness of heart- and the sting of betrayal and deception. His answer gave me some peace and made me appreciate Him more than ever.

In order to get my peace back, I had to let go and let God take care of it. I had to let go of my hurt and let God soothe it.

I had to let go of vengeful thoughts and let God handle it. I had to let go of thoughts of unforgiveness and let God give me strength to do it. And He has.

You have to relinquish the desire to see payback in those who have hurt you by praying for them.. And I have.

Why am I writing about this? you ask. Because I would imagine that you are facing a dry spell and have lost your joy now or at some point in your life. And it is so hard to bloom and flourish again. But it's not impossible, in spite of what you feel and think you see.

This was how I feel, written by a tweeter. "Just because I've been hurt doesn't mean I now have to live hurt. I can get mad and bitter and spread more hurt around. Or, I can choose forgiveness, grace and gentle responses and spread more hope around. Hurt people, hurt people. Healed people, heal people. And I choose to be in that latter group"

There's a lot at stake in getting your life and peace back again. You have to relinquish control. You have to relinquish revenge. You have to relinquish self-pity and in so doing- you are allowing God to handle that which is most important to you- and you will eventually find a return of your peace and spiritual joy.

Getting your spiritual joy back again takes a lot of faith and prayer, reading the Word, praising the LORD and focusing on that which is true, and right, and just and honourable. But life without it, is a life endured, not lived. Choose joy.

‎"You are my hiding place; You preserve me from trouble; You surround me with songs of deliverance. Selah." Psalm 32:7

Finding peace in this sad old world

It is a fact that we live in a fallen world. When Adam and Eve fell from grace, they set in motion a world of sin, death, disease and running from God. For the first time in creation, they hid themselves from God and were afraid.

Previously to the Fall, they had enjoyed fellowship with God. But with sin came separation from God with anxiety, endless toil, pain in birth, death and terrible diseases and tragedies.

This has continued to today and indeed the effect of the Fall has made earthly existence a bitter pill to swallow. No one is immune from sins' effects. Not one of us.

Trials will beset all of us and will surely come. We can do little to offset sins' effects, except pray and ask God for strength to overcome.

We know that He has overcome the effects of the Fall and we can rest assured in the work that Christ has done. By His sacrifice of Himself, He defeated sin and the Devil, giving us the assurance of an eternal Home with Him through believing and accepting His salvation.

But until He comes again, we are stuck with sins' effects and the trials we have in this world.

When we are going through a trial, whatever it is, we have the choice to run to God or run away from Him. We have the choice to worship God no matter what, or to whine or run from God in a petulant manner that alienates us from Him.

We forget that God is God and He is sovereign and as such, He can allow anything He wants in our life. Sometimes we can't figure it out either and it flies in direct opposition to the false teachings some of us have heard about claiming in faith what we want and it shall be so. It does not work like that.

We have to believe that God allows trials in our lives to bring us closer to Him. He wants us to run to Him for our strength. He wants us to grow in faith and godliness. He wants us to trust Him.

Running to God in trouble should be our first reaction, for there we will find help and there we will have our faith and love reinforced. There in Him will be peace, love and joy that is not dependent on our circumstances.

Running from God will result in the opposite and will invite anxiety, fear and alienation from a loving God Who wants us to trust Him and love Him.

Until He comes in glory, we need to stay close to our Saviour, no matter what comes our way. Like the saints of old, we can attest to finding joy and peace no matter what we experience in this sad old world.

The flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17b-18

Baby hunger and old ladies.

As a woman who is now a great-grandmother, I have come to realise that for most of us women, there is a deep desire to one day becoming a mother. It is how God created us.

Indeed, one sees this inherent virtue in young girls from the time they tenderly place blankets around their dollies or clasp a dolly to their breast in the first bloom of maternal love.

As is natural, after this first blooming, other factors come into play as they learn about the world, books and life. But the seed of maternal desire has been sowed and will spring up in later years.

Nurture of new life is a characteristic of womanhood and that nurturing endures for a lifetime. Ask any aged woman who has reared a family and she will tell you that it still presents itself. It presents itself in memories of her own children now grown, and later in her children's children. And if she is fortunate, in her grandchildren's children.

The ache for a baby to hold is still strong, even though the years for becoming a mother are well and truly gone. Each baby will be scrutinised, exclaimed over and rocked and the wonder of new life and a baby's sweet smell will transport a woman to earlier years and the time she first welcomed each new child of her own into her arms and life.

I remember once when we were at a wedding, my aged aunt begged me to allow her to hold my baby daughter, eagerly holding her arms out to receive her. At the time, I didn't realise how strong baby hunger is, until the last grandchild was born and my arms became empty.

There seem to be less babies these days, in part to feminism trying to tell us that a career is better than wiping little noses and bottoms and advise control of our fertility by having abortions. However, wherever there is a baby, you can be sure of two things- there will be other children and old ladies.

For the young ones, it brings a fascination born of that same inbuilt desire to love and nurture. But why old ladies? you ask. Because most times the God created desire to nurture and the love of new life remains long after the ability to beget children. A newborn brings back the memories of younger fertile years and the children born in that time. It makes her feel young again. Reborn.

Enjoy your children and grandchildren and always get plenty of cuddles. Baby hunger will be easier to cope with if you get a full diet of infant cuddles while you are still young....

I promise, you will feel that longing to fill your empty arms with a baby one day as baby hunger is very real.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, [and to be] a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

And so say most of us women!

Today's more liberal brands of feminism are trying to convince us that they are not anti-family; that "being a wife and mother is an option like any other for today's women", and therefore, as they cheerfully point out, a woman can be a wife and mother, or a doctor, or a scientist, or an engineer – and all of these options are equally valid, and equally worth of protection by those who are concerned about women's rights and liberation.

The problem? Most women will want to get married and have children – even those who have ambitious professionalism drilled into their heads from a young age. The desire to be a wife, mother and homemaker is so overwhelmingly strong that no modern waves can stamp it out of women.

What we have been, tragically, sold, is the myth that we can delay marriage and motherhood for as long as we want, and juggle it with any type of career. Of course, this kind of thinking led to a tragedy for an entire generation of women, who remain single after they realized – too late – that they should have boarded the train earlier.

Others are struggling with fertility treatments, clinging onto the slim hope of ever having a child. We have way too many celebrated stories in the press about women who became mothers well past their 40-th birthday, and too few presentations of how often fertility treatments actually fail for older women, statistically speaking.

I'm not saying that marrying late, never marrying or never having children is something that didn't happen in the past. Surely, there was always a small number of older singles. But in the past decades, it has become commonplace, too commonplace – women are told to get busy chasing degrees and careers, to do things that are "worthwhile"… which, coincidentally, are not the things that we are wired to be truly happy and content with.

The result is that we are always in an inner conflict, always anxious as to whether we are truly doing what we are supposed to be doing, wondering whether we are spending enough time with our husbands and children vs. professional "investments". Whether we won't come to regret, in a few years, the choices we made.

I have noticed that the attitude of men and women towards work is drastically different, in the more educated/ambitious circles. Men usually talk about good jobs with good prospects that will enable them to take care of their families. Women talk much more often about doing something "interesting", about fulfillment and personal growth.

Some say, "I would love to stay home now that my children are little, but I must think about my future." Future – translated as the years when the children are older, when supposedly being a homemaker is not justified. I'd rephrase and say, "I need to stay home now, because I must think about my future."

What do I want to have in my future? Heaps of student debt? A blur of years I struggle through, exhausted? Or happy, well-adjusted children who are used to the comforting presence of their mother at home?

I have heard 30-year-old women debating about whether they should dedicate their next five years to doing a PhD, or to having and raising another child. They fully realize that later, whatever they choose, it might be too late for the other option.

Whenever I have the chance, I say, "you will never regret the time you spend mothering your children." I don't think I can ever refer to myself as a "professional" homemaker, because my desire to have a good family and an orderly, peaceful home is so much more than the wish to have a career. It's simply the deepest desire of my heart. author unknown

Blessings, Glenys

Isaiah 3:11-13 Woe unto the wicked! it shall be ill with him: for the reward of his hands shall be given him. As for my people, children are their oppressors, and women rule over them. O my people, they which lead thee cause thee to err, and destroy the way of thy paths. The LORD standeth up to plead, and standeth to judge the people.

Overcoming agoraphobia.

Years ago I suffered from a dreadful condition where leaving my home was a cause for panic and anxiety. It's name is agoraphobia. I overcame it, but it has reared its' ugly head once more.

With the Corona Virus instilling in us a fear of being too near people, being diligent with hand washing etc in order to stay safe, and staying at home because of Rona, I have found it has exacerbated my agoraphobic tendencies.

I get clammy going into a supermarket or even going to the Post Office. Some days I have to force myself to leave the house and I will get Chris to handle things for me if possible.

Living in the fifth wheeler for six months and ending up housebound because of my torn meniscus didn't help me either. It took a lot of effort to get out of the staying at home habit when we first resumed renting. But I won, and by beating it then, I know I can do it again.

When we are asked to stay home, it does not present any great problem to me. In fact, the only problem with this whole virus thing is that I can't see my family. But that won't last forever. They will be able to come to me.

My agoraphobia will not last forever: with prayer and forcing myself to gradually leave the house for longer periods, I will overcome it. But it takes a lot of prayer and determination. But with time it can be done.

I am afraid that when we are finally over Covid 19 and able to leave our homes, that I will be so used to being home that I will prefer it. Our agoraphobia must be tamed in order to have quality of life, for if given into, it will turn your home into a prison.

"The beloved of the Lord shall dwell in safety by Him, Who shelters him all the day long; And he shall dwell between His shoulders." Deuteronomy 33:12

What chronic illness can't take from us.

Chronic illness has the power to rob us of joy, movement and motivation and can place such a strain on us and our families that we actually grieve for the life we once had. Yet, it is limited in what it can take, and here are some things it cannot take from us...

It cannot take our salvation from us
It cannot take our love for God or His love for us,
It cannot take our honour, or respect or strength of character.
It cannot take our courage, our motivation or our hope...
It cannot take our honesty, our faithfulness to God and family,
It cannot take our robe of righteousness or God's Spirit within us.

Trying as it is, chronic illness cannot destroy our walk with Christ, or preclude us from serving God in prayer and kindness, even from our bed... It cannot rob us of seeking communion with God or lifting our arms in worship or raising our voices in song...even if we are just mouthing the words...

Chronic illness can take our joy at times, and perhaps our life, but only on the day and hour that Christ allows it. And the day it does take our all, chronic illness will be replaced with unimaginable joy as God gives us our robe of righteousness and our eternal reward... another thing that chronic illness can't take from us!

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? shall tribulations, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? Romans 8:35

The best journey of your life!

I am 67 years old and I have been a mother for nearly half a century! I have 15 grandchildren and a great-granddaughter and they often trigger a memory of bringing up their parent. Some things I used to worry about I now can laugh at.

Here are some of those things I wish I knew 50 years ago..

* I realise that over 90% of the things I fretted and worried over never happened.

* If you offer food to a young child and they don't eat, they will not starve!
* That the time flies by so quickly that you should make time to enjoy your children-don't be left with regrets in the future
* It is best to keep a house that is clean enough to be healthy but dirty enough to be lived in-it will be too clean when the kids have left for good
* A self-willed child will often grow up to be a very conscientious hard worker and a loving person

* God loves my children even more than I do

* The naughtiest kid really needs the most hugs- sometimes it's an attention seeking thing

* It is more important to make your life rich in love than rich in possessions

* There is no safer place for a little child to bloom than in its own home

* A Band-Aid strip and a kiss means much more....it's that Mummy loves me and cares

* A rested Mother is the best Mother she can possibly be

* Taking time out for yourself some time during the day or night is good-Mothers shouldn't stop dreaming

* Heated disciplining arguments from the chiefs are never productive in front of little recruits-they will soon play one off against the other

* It is not unloving to encroach on your kids 'rights' and choose his friends for him- you can save yourself and him a lot of heartaches later on

* To make too much of a child is inviting disaster- soon they will make you the children and they will be masters of the house

* Stay united with your spouse in front of the children- a house divided will fall and you will come down with it

* Two heads of the house does not work- allow and encourage your husband to lead

* Pray without ceasing - we mothers need all the help we can get...and that goes on all our lives

Seek to find snatches of joy everyday as you battle through Mt Laundry etc- you will reach the mountain top all too quickly and will remember the valley as the best journey of your life! painting by Vickie Wade

“In the fear of the LORD [is] strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge ’ Proverbs 14:26

It's not a salvation issue

I have been asked to write about how one should react to women who wear slacks. This can be a very divisive issue and the last thing I want to do is stir up a hornets' nest. So as I write this, please keep in mind that my thoughts are just that, I am not a theologian or even a scholar. But I try to live a balanced Christian life that is always held accountable and in accord with Gods' Word.

To get a perspective on what the Word says about how we dress, I would like to refer to this post I wrote in this article here

I believe the scriptures forbid us to wear that which pertains to a man and vice versa to highlight Gods' distaste for perversion of the natural order and cross-dressing. There is usually a very distinct look to slacks that is feminine: however I *personally* do not like blue jeans as they are exceedingly masculine and can create an androgynous air. But I am quite sure there are many Christian women who like to wear them. Dressing in a feminine way can incorporate slacks if they are feminine.

Whether a woman dresses in feminine slacks or dresses and skirts, I believe that as long as she presents as a female and is modest, that this would be acceptable to God. Furthermore, dressing in slacks or dresses is not a salvation issue. I believe we should concentrate on the spiritual aspect of who we befriend and should concentrate on the fact that they are Christian. It is very sad that we miss out on fellowship because a woman is not under the same conviction as us regarding wearing dresses or slacks.

In reacting to women who wear slacks, I would say that they are not sinning. We are called to judge matters of great importance, but we are also called to live in the Spirit in the bond of peace. Worrying about what garments a Christian woman wears is short-circuiting friendship and fellowship that could benefit the Body of Christ. In all things, God calls us to live in balance and in His Word. Genuine faith and a right relationship is the heart of the matter.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7