There to be a light

The caption on this Good Housekeeping Magazine of 1902 says it all: “His House She Enters: There To Be A Light”

It is not difficult to see that a good home life is grounded in a good marriage. Marriage is as much the foundation of the Christian home as Christ is the foundation of our faith. Hear what Dr J.R. Miller has to say on the importance of a good marriage in building a Christian home..

“Back of the home lies marriage. The wedding day throws its shadow far down the future; it may be, ought to be, a shadow of healing and benediction. In a tale of medieval English life a maiden goes before the bridal party on their way to church, strewing flowers in their path. This was meant to signify that their wedded life should be one of joy and prosperity. Almost universally wedding ceremonies and festivities have some feature of similar significance, implying that the occasion is one of gladness.

In some countries flowers are worn as bridal wreaths. In some they are woven into garlands for the waist, the tying of the ends being a part of the ritual. In others they are carried in the hand or worn in the hair or on the bosom. Music comes in also, always joyous music, implying that the ceremony is one of peculiar gladness. In some places, too, wedding bells are rung, their peals being merry and gladsome.

All these and similar bridal customs indicate that the world regards the wedding as the crowning day of life, and marriage as an event of the highest felicity, an occasion for the most enthusiastic congratulations. Yet not always are these happy prophecies fulfilled. Sometimes the flowers wither and the music grows discordant and the wedding peals die away into a memory only of gladness. It ought not to be so. It is not so when the marriage has been true, and when the wedded life is ruled by love. Then the bridal wreath remains fresh and fragrant till it is laid upon the coffin by the loving hands of the one who survives to close the eyes of the other; and the wedding music and the peals of the bells continue to echo in tones of gladness and peace until hushed in the sobbings of sorrow when the singers sing in dirges and the bells toll out the number of the finished years.

Marriage is intended to bring joy. The married life is meant to be the happiest, fullest, purest, richest life. It is God’s own ideal of completeness. It was when he saw that it was not good for man to be alone that woman was made and brought to him to supply what was lacking. The divine intention, therefore, is that marriage shall yield happiness, and that it shall add to the fullness of the life of both husband and wife; that neither shall lose, but that both shall gain. If in any case it fails to be a blessing and to yield joy, and a richer, fuller life, the fault cannot be with the institution itself, but with those who under its shadow fail to fulfill its conditions.

The benediction that falls upon the homes of a country is like the gentle rain that descends among the hills. A thousand springs are fuller afterward, and along the banks of a thousand streamlets flowing through the valleys the grass is greener and the flowers pour out richer fragrance.

Homes are the springs among the hills, whose many streamlets, uniting, form, like great rivers, society, the community, the nation, the Church. If the springs run low the rivers waste; if they pour out bounteous currents the rivers are full. If the springs are pure the rivers are clear like crystal; if they are foul the rivers are defiled. A curse upon the homes sends a poisoning blight everywhere; a blessing sends healing and new life into every channel.

Homes are the divinely ordained fountains of life. It is not by accident that men live in families rather than solitarily. The human race began in a family, and Eden was a home. The divine blessing has ever rested upon nations and communities just in the measure in which they have adhered to these original institutions and have kept marriage and the home pure and holy; and blight and curse have come just in the measure in which they have departed from these divine models, dishonoring marriage and tearing down the sacred walls of home. by Dr J.R. Miller

Blessings and comfort, Glenys

“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully” 1 Timothy 5:14

When husbands lose their jobs

It won't come as a surprise to my regular readers to know I fully support the so-called "traditional" roles of man and wife. Tradition, of course, is the less important part in this; traditions might change, while God's plan for us never does, and He was the one to command Adam to work in the sweat of his brow, and Eve to bear children. So of course it's natural for the woman to take care of the nest and the family.

But of course, we all know things might not go according to our initial plan. Husbands may fall ill, lose their jobs, strike up a bad financial bargain, or all of the above. A woman who married someone financially stable might feel it's unfair if the situation changes unexpectedly, though certainly, no one can guarantee it won't happen.

I firmly believe this role reversal, when the wife becomes the main breadwinner, is not really a solution; it's unhealthy. Men were not made to be cooped up inside the house and women were not made to be far from their homes and families. It's easy to feel desperate when a "traditional" family is suddenly thrust into such a situation.

Here we have another example at how feminism did a huge disservice to women. In the past, if a family was going through a financial crisis, the wife was expected to be frugal, and perhaps do some work temporarily, preferably from home. Now, we are expected to jump into a "career", as if that will be a solution to all our problems, as if there aren't enough couples with two incomes who are up to their ears in debt because they don't know how to handle their finances wisely.

I take issue, however, with some attitudes expressed in that article I linked to. Like, for example, losing respect for a husband who lost his job. Many men lose their jobs through no fault of their own; they are likely to sink into depression as it is, when unemployment lasts for a while. The last thing that would encourage and motivate them would be vibes of disrespect and scorn coming from their wives. It becomes an evil circle: a man is unemployed, his wife treats him like a useless loser, and he feels like one, which prevents him to take off again in the working world.

It's easy to become frustrated and tell an unemployed husband, "you've failed your part, I'm going out there to do your job because you're inadequate." But wouldn't it be wiser to trust God and trust this husband he gave you, and tell him you know he is doing his best? Wouldn't it be wiser to support and motivate him, and tell him you fully trust his abilities, and perhaps help him look for a job, and motivate him to take advantage of his time of unemployment to learn useful skills? I truly believe it would pay off in the long run.

I understand, of course, that there are also situations when the wife is as supportive and encouraging as can be and it doesn't help. We don't live in a perfect world and some men are lazy and irresponsible. But I honestly believe that most men want to take care of their families and be good husbands and fathers.

As you know I'm not speaking only theoretically. My husband is currently looking for a job, and some tell me I should invest in my career instead, such as, for example, go ahead and start studying for a Master's degree. I do believe this attitude is not only short-sighted, it would convey that I secretly believe I can do my husband's job better than he could. And in the long run, I think I would pay for it dearly, especially when more children (God willing) come along and I'm stuck with a "career" I can't realistically handle.

by Mrs Anna T of Domestic Felicity



Unto the woman he said, I will greatly multiply thy sorrow and thy conception; in sorrow thou shalt bring forth children; and thy desire [shall be] to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee....And unto Adam he said, Because thou hast hearkened unto the voice of thy wife, and hast eaten of the tree, of which I commanded thee, saying, Thou shalt not eat of it: cursed [is] the ground for thy sake; in sorrow shalt thou eat [of] it all the days of thy life; Genesis 3:16-17

Staying home with impunity

impunity. If doing something usually results in punishment, but you do it with impunity, you will not be punished for the deed. ... The noun, impunity, comes from the Latin roots im- ("not") plus poena ("punishment"), a root which has also produced the word pain. Impunity, then, is the freedom from punishment or pain.

So, most of us have had to stay home because of the Corona Virus. Homemaking, home cooked meals, bread making and other homemaking skills have come to the fore and we have been forced to reconnect with our family. Depending on the state of the marriage, most marriages have been reenergised as well. 

Homeschooling here in Australia has seen a lot of mothers scratching their heads as they tried to come to terms with new teaching methods since they were at school. Homeschooling and running a home plus often tending to younger children is looked at with new respect for not only teachers, but homeschooling mothers. It is good, but often difficult.

Mothers who work outside the home are encouraged to work from home if at all possible, and this has presented them with more problems. Childcare, domestic duties and so on cannot be compartmentalised: the poor working mother has suddenly got to juggle it all..

It is quite ironic that once we stay at home wives and mothers were looked down upon, but now are held in esteem because we do stay home.  Not for the first time, too, mothers who work outside the home are remembering how much work they did actually do at home before they worked in outside employment. And according to statistics, they are often quite prepared to stay home if it were possible...

Staying home at the moment with quarantine in place is wearing a bit thin- especially for those folks whose job has ceased due to infection worries, or whose business has failed for the same reason. It is increasingly harder to find money to keep bread and butter on the table.

In an effort to stop the spread of Rona, the powers that be have decided that staying at home is the new vogue and that those who don't face fines and/or prison..

This new development has seen women encouraged to stay home instead of being looked down upon as a non productive member of society. Suddenly we are hailed as heroes...

Perhaps when Rona has run its' course and workplaces open again, we will look back and fondly remember the time when housewives were appreciated and we were staying at home with impunity.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Come, my people, enter your chambers, And shut your doors behind you; Hide yourself, as it were, for a little moment, Until the indignation is past. Isaiah 26:20

Sugar and spice

You know, the idea that a housewife never files her nails, puts on some makeup, styles her hair, wears shoes, or even gets dressed is not entirely true. With fibromyalgia and other chronic illness, I have to admit, appearance isn't usually high on the list of things to worry about when you're battling pain and fatigue all the time. But it still is important to try to keep yourself nice.

I'm not suggesting that we should sit around painting our nails and curling our eye lashes all day. But, it is important to our selves and our husbands that we look clean and well groomed. And more importantly, it's crucial to our Christian witness that we don't look like a crumb. 

It is true that God knows what's in our heart, but man looks on the outside appearance, and it won't be as easy to witness or be an example of living the abundant life with uncombed hair and dirty attire. Besides, we shouldn't be handling something as precious as the Good News with dirty fingernails!

There's nothing wrong with a woman putting a little time and effort into her appearance. A spray of perfume and doing something with her hair can go a long way in making her feel a little more "human"! That being said, with illness etc, there are days when I'm doing well to shower and get dressed and I pray no one comes to the door...

Delight in being  clean and dressed for the day. Femininity always means sugar and spice. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] not as man seeth; for manlooketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

God loves womankind

Women hold a very special place in God's Heart. Many feel that He is a misogynist or woman hater, but nothing could be further from the truth.

God knows that women are entrusted with an eternal purpose of life: to serve Him, love their husband and nurture their children. And to be keepers of the home. "Therefore I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house...' 1 Timothy 5:14c

Jesus in fact respected and loved womankind, and entrusted His first visitation after His resurrection to Mary: a woman.Jesus saith unto her, Mary. She turned herself and saith unto him, Rabboni; which is to say, Master.  Jesus saith unto her, Touch me not; for I am not yet ascended to my Father; but go to my brethrenm and say unto them, I ascend unto my Father, and your Father; and to my God, and your God. John 20:16-17

He interceded for the woman who was chided for breaking forth the alabaster jar of precious and expensive ointment, anointing His feet with it and drying them with her hair. It was He Who said that what she had done for Him would be spoken of forever. Love. Respect. Mercy. Grace. (Luke 7:37-50)

Forgiveness and grace were shown to the woman caught in adultery: respect and love from God meant her life was spared. (John 8:3-12)

He created Woman to be loved, to be loving, to be nurturing, to be protected and to be respected. To us He gave to us the ability to bear a child and then to raise it for His glory.  Any man can father a child, but it takes a loving woman to bear and raise it. No small matter. It takes a woman.

God knows that He can entrust women with eternal treasures, that's why He gave us the protection of marriage and the creating and keeping of a home: godly foundations on which to build a new generation of sons and daughters for Him.

Whilst men go to synagogues in Judaism, whilst men go to work and whilst men go to war, it is the women who carry the home, teach the children and bring them up unto Him. A worthy calling.

It is here that God meets with women in the mundane things of life, for He knows that the mundane is of great value, and so is a woman's service. And from love for womankind, comes a God Who meets us where we live: in our kitchen. In our baby's nursery. In the laundry.

To believe that women are forgotten by God is a gross misrepresentation of His love. It is we who keep the homefires burning and keep it all together when the world falls apart. No wonder God loves womankind.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

“Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.” Proverbs 31:10

I guess I am essential too!

In Australia, we've just had that debate about what's essential. With this Corona Virus, we are at stage 3 which means we must stay home unless it's essential work and if we meet in groups of more than 2 people, we will be fined $1600 on the spot. 

Weddings with no more than 5 people: bride, groom, celebrant and two witnesses. No more than 10 at a funeral. And one is the deceased! 

It got me thinking about what is really essential. You know, in jobs and in relationships as well. I think for me, keeping a grateful heart for what we have, not focussing on what we've lost is essential.

For me, loving Chris, loving my home and loving God is essential. Living in the present is essential to mental health as well. So to me, hugging and loving our family at home is essential now.

Keeping in touch with family during this time of isolation is also essential to alleviate anxiety and missing them. Likewise, keeping up with prayer and Bible reading is essential always, but more so in a time of trouble. We need to keep the faith and remember the promises of God.

Home has never truly meant more than now with us needing to isolate ourselves and it is up to us wives and mothers to keep the homefires burning. 

Essentially keeping the home a welcoming and cosy place to come aside and allow this pestilence to pass is no small thing. I am taking this very seriously. 

We won't hear it in the media, but housewives are essential in keeping up morale in families.

Therefore, I guess I am essential too!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The flock shall be cut off from the fold, and there shall be no herd in the stalls: Yet I will rejoice in the Lord, I will joy in the God of my salvation. Habakkuk 3:17b-18

She will melt his heart

She was asleep, perhaps dreaming, if unborn babies dream

In a watery world that was quickly shrinking as she grew.

Suddenly an urgent jiggle roused her from her slumber....

About to cry, she sought comfort in her thumb...

That and her mother's heart beat her constant companions...

This jiggling upset her, making her kick and twirl-

But after coaxing, she was pronounced a perfect baby girl.

Her mother beamed, wiping gel from her fecund stomach,

Happily unaware that her husband scowled in disappointment,

For the child was not perfect: she was a girl...

Her mother's thoughts turned to pink ribbons and bows,

He grieved a son to kick a ball with and continue the family line...

All quiet within, the little babe returned to her slumber,

Sucking on fingers that would wrap round her father's,

Unaware that soon she will melt her Daddy's heart.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Lo, children [are] an heritage of the LORD: [and] the fruit of the womb [is his] reward. Psalm 127:3

Hunker down in cosy nests

So there are many changes to our lifestyle since the Corona Virus. They are extremely important if we are to stop its' spread. 

Currently we are in isolation with only essential services allowed to stay open. Even the doctors no longer want to see us unless it's of an urgent nature. 

Chris and I went to our doctor today for repeat prescriptions. He gave them to us and told us that last night the Australian government have implemented a Telemed system whereby you can ring the clinic and the doctor will fax your script to your chemist.

So now we are hunkering down, shopping online and worshiping online. Woolworths asked some details from us to prove we were either aged or disabled. They will only be doing online shops for us. Last week they emailed me to say I was approved. I am happy about that. 

For me, staying at home is not really a problem. I have plenty of opportunity to rest as my fibromyalgia flares, in fact I have been sleeping a good deal.

I have also been doing some decluttering and cooking soups for freezing. There are also some projects we are doing like finally putting pretty pictures up in the bedrooms and putting my electric blanket back on for the coming winter. 

I have been playing worship music and listening to the Psalms on You Tube. Last Sunday I took communion at home after a time of personal worship.  

It is important to remember that God is with us and is not surprised by this virus. If we do as we are told, and with His help, we will overcome.

Refuse to give way to fear- feel it, then bring it into the captivity of Christ. Fill yourself with songs of praise, pray and keep the faith. 

Keep your nest clean and comfortable and full of Spirit filled words and music. Make sure your pantry and fridge have sufficient food. Enjoy some peace from the rat race world. There is no better place than home to come apart from the world and let the pestilence dissipate.

So clean your nest, fill it with good things, keep cooking nice meals, and renew your marriage and family life and your faith as you hunker down in your cosy nest.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Come, my people, enter your chambers, And shut your doors behind you; Hide yourself, as it were, for a little moment, Until the indignation is past. Isaiah 26:20

A true blessing

Ever since that wonderful day my love and I became as one,

I realised that our married life’s journey had only just begun.

I asked the Lord to show me how my joy could be complete,

And He brought to mind His Holy Word as I sat at His feet.

He told me that I would have to be willing to lay down my life

In showing the sacrificial loving that befits a godly wife.

He told me if I surrendered to His great marriage plan,

I would be forever blessed with a very happy man.

For I was born a woman who was called to be a wife,

A woman of great value and a pearl of great price.

I was called to be a helper to a man I call my own,

To lovingly care for him and make for us a home.

To always be thinking of him and how to please him best,

And to be a shoulder to lean on if he should need to rest.

I’d be someone he could talk to without fear of betrayal,

A listener and confidante not given to telling tales.

I decided I would seek the Lord daily and ask for His direction

In making me an instrument of His peace and affection.

A wife and treasure who would bless her man all her days,

In meeting all of his needs through learning of his ways.

So I will learn by prayerful watching and I will take every measure

To be a willing helper who brings her man much gain and pleasure

In putting him above all else except for our God in Heaven,

Showing him God’s marriage plan by being a true blessing.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks  

‘The heart of her husband safely trusts her: so he will have no lack of gain: she does him good and not evil all the days of her life’ Proverbs 31: 11-12 

Taking pride in your washing

Have you ever thought that doing the washing was not that important? Clothes are a witness to the world of the type of wife or mother you are. It is said that clothes maketh the man. In this world of ours, where man looks on the outward appearance, it is true. God does know our heart but man only has his senses to go by. If our family’s clothes are not cared for properly, if our husband goes to the office in an unironed shirt or crumpled trousers, not only does it reflect badly on you, but also may hold him back from that promotion he has been hoping for.

The children’s clothing too can tell whether a child is loved or not. A child may very well have clothing that has dirt on it from play, but most of us can tell if a child’s clothing is really just dirty from play or plain filthy.

I believe that clothes should be well maintained and ironed. They should be modest and reflect cleanliness and be spotless. Proverbs tells us that the godly woman wears expensive clothing. She dresses well and maintains her family’s clothes. Her husband is known at the gates of the city- obviously well respected. Can you imagine the amount of respect he would have if he was dressed in clothing that was dirty and crumpled?

Doing the family washing is not hard if you think it through. I wash everything in cold water. I soak the whites overnight in cold water and detergent which is specifically made for cold water washing. I do the same with the towels. I add a 50/50 solution of white vinegar and fabric softener- that makes them nice and fluffy and odour-free. My washing is always clean and fresh.

I usually hang it outside to dry or over the clothes horse under a ducted heating vent in the wet days. Saves on electricity bills and I also think I save money by using the cold water. (My Mum always used warm water/ cold rinse) But honestly, we are on a tight budget and I need to squeeze every way I can to save money. I have found that sometimes hot water washing can make clothes stiff and they can lose their colour quickly.

I know that doing the washing seems to be one of those chores that we either love or hate. It seems a small thing, yet the maintenance of our clothes detract or enhance our overall presentation and speaks volumes. I am sure the Proverbs 31 woman must have taken pride in her washing and family’s presentation- we can afford to do no less!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land" Proverbs 31:23

Sex isn't everything

This picture reminds me of Chris and I in the kitchen... I often can be washing the dishes and he will come behind me for a cuddle.. I still blush and giggle like a school girl!  I usually go weak at the knees when he kisses the back of my neck, and I turn around and kiss him passionately.  Finally, we break away, breathless with romance and laughter!  Most times, he then pitches in and helps me finish washing up.

This little dalliance of ours to us is quite romantic and that coupled with the fact that Chris helps me with the dishes, makes me feel nurtured and happy- it doesn't take a lot for me! Which is good, because money is short for a lot of flowers and chocolates.

We do go out together for meals whenever we can salt away a little money.  Nothing too expensive, but we bring our own ambiance!  Just looking into each others' eyes and holding hands over the table reminds us of our early days together and keeps us focused on each other.  Truly, we do adore each other.

Because money is in short supply, and because we constantly laugh together and cuddle often, we feel that special occasions such as Christmas, birthdays and Valentines' Day aren't necessary to show affection and love. We in fact, do not buy gifts for these for each other. And it is perfectly fine with us. We do, however look at our wedding photos and reminisce a lot on our anniversary or any other date significant to us...

I think it may be the fact that we are an older married couple that makes it easier to see romance in ways that younger couples don't.  With age and fibromyalgia and heart and back problems and Chris with his diabetes, sex is either umcomfortable or impossible. So both Chris and I look forward to a bubble bath at home with a good back wash and nail trims or a foot or back massage.  We do that for each other on a regular basis. To us, nurture is romance!

Chris loves me bringing his breakfast into him in the morning. This to him is romantic and although his not buying me presents and sending me cards may seem that he is an unromantic man, nothing could be further from the truth.  He sings to me! We have some special songs that he says were written just for us, and he will play them on the computer, and take me in his arms and croon to me as we dance slowly round the living room.

Because I am often in hospital, Chris shows his care by staying with me most of the day until visiting hours are over, just stroking my hair and holding my hand. Or he will come with our laptop and headphones for me. My heart melts with love for him.  We can't stand to be away from each other.

Illness, medications, no spoons and age have curtailed our times of intimacy, but we manage to show love to each other in ways that are imaginative, erotic and very caring.  There is absolutely no thoughts of unmet needs- love can be expressed in ways other than full sexual intercourse, and we delight in each other regardless! If sex happens, it's a bonus!

So we don't care about no presents or cards for Christmas, or birthdays or Valentines' Day-  with the romantic sparks that still fly between us, and our little dalliances, every day is Valentines' Day. 

I thank God for Chris as I am one very blessed wife, and I tell him often.... he finds that very romantic too! We are proof that you can live without sex! Sex isn't everything!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life ... 1 Peter 3:7  this post has been written with my husbands' permission.

Let him lead

God created man directly under Him with a wife equal in value but in submission to her husband. Where there are two heads in a marriage, wherein the man is not allowed to be responsible under God for his decisions, there is the distinct possibility that he will feel emasculated. 

Submission is not understood. Mainly because we think that our men will take advantage of us and rule the roost without any desire to know how we feel or think about something. 

A man who loves his wife will consult with her and value her insight and will then make a decision that they are both in agreement with. If not, he is out of line in the Divine Order. 

We talk things through, evaluate the best way to go then we allow our husband to make the final decision. He is responsible under God for his decisions, ours is to pray and support him. 

God has decreed that we wives allow our husbands to lead. He is to be head of our home, even if he is unsaved. He is to treated with respect! As long as our husband is not asking us to sin, he is to be obeyed.

In no way are we meant to be treated as doormats. That is not what God wants in a Christian marriage either. We are equal to our husband yet we have distinctly separate roles. These roles are in keeping with how we are created, and they actually enhance our femininity whilst bolstering our husband's masculinity.

If we submit to our husband, we will be staying within God's Umbrella of Protection in the Divine Order.

A man yearns to be respected, a woman yearns to be loved. If we emasculate our husband by usurping his God-given role, he will resent us. Respect will bring out his better qualities, and he will feel that he can love a woman who highly regards him. 

We love God, therefore we submit to our husband because of that love. Let him lead.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their own husbands in every thing. Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish. So ought men to love their wives as their own bodies. He that loveth his wife loveth himself. For no man ever yet hated his own flesh; but nourisheth and cherisheth it, even as the Lord the church: For we are members of his body, of his flesh, and of his bones. Ephesians 5:23-30

Letter to a feminist

Dear Sister, 

This letter is a difficult one to write, for it is not intended that you should be left with the impression that I write out of spite or hatred to you. Although there is sadness and some anger that so many women have been deceived by feminism, there is also compassion and a degree of understanding.

You see, ever since time began and our sister Eve was deceived by the serpent and ate of the forbidden fruit- a fruit which God Himself had told her and her husband, Adam not to eat, she has handed down to us the desire to rule and control. Not content that God Himself has decreed that women shall bear children in pain yet crave the affection of our husbands, she and all her fellow feminist sisters have sought to not only control their own God-given role as women but have sought to deceive and usurp men. For Eve knew full well that she was sinning when she beguiled Adam to partake of the fruit too- and he, so infatuated by her womanly ways, willingly partook also and bore his punishment as well. In sweat, he would toil in the earth all his days to eat from the ground which bore thistles, until he died and returned unto the dust from which he was formed.

Sin and death entered into the human equation for the first time. Yet God in His compassion, clothed this couple with animal skins and did not separate them- for it was He Himself Who said that it was not good for the man to be alone. Together, they fled the Garden of Eden wherein was the Tree of Life, lest they should eat of that and live forever. Yet God blessed them. What greater blessing could there be for a couple than to have a child born of their own loins? And so with the birth of Cain, the first baby on earth, began the natural cycle of companionship and intimate marriage producing children who produced children of their own to carry on the genes of their parents and grandparents- yet all destined to return to dust from which we came.

As women, there has been suffering. We know the pains of womanhood, the broken heart of romance, the joy-and pain of marriage and bearing and raising children. Yet in the main, womankind has not only accepted this as her purpose in life but as her God-given right. Indeed, most of us would not wish to tamper with it.

It is a wise woman who accepts the role in creation that God has ordained for her. It is natural for us to fall in love, become engaged, marry and bear and raise children. We thrive on making a happy home and marriage and count it all joy by and large. Our fulfillment comes in being helpmeets to our husbands, mothers to our children, and homemakers. Because we have accepted our role as a partner in God’s creation, we do not see the need to compete with men nor do we try to usurp their authority. We see the value of godly submission and enjoy the boundaries that God has appointed for us in our given tasks as wife and mother.

Our fulfillment does not come from a personal bank account, freedom from male ‘domination’, childlessness by choice and an aversion to all things matrimonial and domestic. We do not see children as an occupational hazard of being a wife but a blessing from the LORD. Nor do we sacrifice our children to abortion on the altar of job promotions, freedom of choice/fertility, ambition, prestige and competitiveness with men. Rather, we welcome our God ordained role as women, for in that we can find true freedom.

Freedom that allows us to be gentle, kind, nurturing and domestic. Freedom that rejoices in cooking, cleaning, birth and the marital bed. We do not see our husbands as beasts who exploit us for their personal pleasure, but we delight in their affection and embrace.

Our freedom comes in the keeping of our homes and in the provision of our husbands. In freedom and lack of fear we bring forth our children and we raise them with the love and authority of their fathers. In freedom, we express our concerns and fears to our husbands and in that same freedom we give opinions and insight. The freedom of godly femininity allows us to be equal and not inferior to our husbands. That freedom liberates us from the need to be aggressive, masculine, dictatorial and harsh women. For our freedom in God allows us to be uniquely suited to our husband. There is no need to strive to compete or usurp the authority of men. For a godly woman is of great value.

I can understand a feminist’s view to a point- she has not seen the blessing of femininity or the beauty and challenge of marriage, motherhood and servant hood. She is to be pitied for she has brought upon herself the misery of usurping the God-given natural order by refusing to be a partner in God’s plan of creation. God can open your eyes, dear Sister and He can release you into His wonderful plan of godly womanhood.

There is freedom in His ways. There is peace and fulfillment. God will not force His Will in your life, but He will give you joy unimaginable if you repent and become the woman He created you to be. He has a wonderful purpose for your life- if you will accept it. The struggle can end with your choice to be a true woman and complete not compete with men. God’s Word is very clear on this- His Word is true and good. Will you not reconsider and come home? You will be so glad you made that choice for there you will find the freedom you so desire.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

From Genesis 2-5

Chief among ten thousand

It is a medical fact that our brain is our greatest sexual organ. Desire starts there. When the body is tired and intimacy seems like one more ‘chore’ before blessed sleep, I have found that it helps to dwell on what made you fall in love with your husband in the first place.

Bring to mind all the little things he said or did that spoke to you in your early days together. Remember how he looked, how he smelt..his aftershave, even his sweat and the smoothness of his skin, his eyes, his voice. Remember too the intimate moments you shared in the past and let them intoxicate you again with rekindled love for your man. Cultivate a thankful heart for being his wife and look forward to celebrating that oneness in the beauty of the marital bed. True intimacy is not what is shown in pornography. Under no circumstances focus on other people’s intimacy…you want to foster desire for your own husband’s embrace.

As you dwell on your husband’s desirability, more often than not, your mind will start pining for his embrace. This god-given desire usually is stronger than tiredness. The Shulamite in the Song of Songs fantasised about her husband’s body and eagerly looked forward to his lovemaking..there certainly is a place for fantasising about intimacy with your husband. I find that by thinking of all the wonderful things about my spouse, and dwelling on them, that I can overcome chronic fatigue (through illness) and eagerly await intimacy with him.

I believe that this is a great way to help overcome fatigue and lack of desire without sinning.. Take a look at the Song of Solomon and rekindle the flame

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

My beloved [is] white and ruddy, the chiefest among ten thousand. Song of Solomon 5:10

Preparing for the Big Day!

Have you ever stopped to think about how most of us prepare for marriage and childbirth and then once that is accomplished, we fall by the roadside? How many websites, magazines, articles, CD’s etc are there dedicated to these subjects? We are prepared for the BIG DAY: the wedding day, the delivery day- yet how many of us find a sense of disillusionment in life after the BIG DAY has been? We are simply- unprepared!

It is not that preparing for one’s wedding day or impending birth of a child is wrong in itself, but to focus all one’s attention on the BIG DAY and lose focus on the YEARS thereafter is foolhardy. After all, a marriage comes after a wedding and a lifetime of parenting comes after a birth. The years after the BIG DAY is where the rubber meets the road..

So many women put all their attention on their wedding- the preparations, the drama, the dreaming, the romance and the culmination of years of planning and rehearsing in her head. But once married, how many are prepared for the hard work of tending and nurturing that marriage. For marriage is hard work at times and we would be foolish to think otherwise.

Let’s be honest: how many of us have taken the time to study about marriage as the institution it is- not the romanticised notion but the reality? Often if we have not prepared and studied not only the scriptures on marriage but studied and observed our husbands- we will find ourselves being bogged down by feelings of disillusionment and disenchantment.

Likewise, how many of us expectant mothers haven’t bothered to read up on childbirth, practiced all the exercises and relaxation tips for labour, eaten well and obsessed about ours and our child’s health? But how many of us have read up on child-raising, education, and marital adjustment and so forth for the years of parenting ahead? It is very short-sighted to place all one’s attention on the delivery of a child to the neglect of acquiring knowledge about the raising of that child. After all, childbirth is a day, parenthood is for life!

We must equip ourselves and our daughters to be the best wives (not brides), the best mothers (not labouring women), so that they will be well prepared to cope with the reality of life. When the rubber meets the road and they find that their BIG DAYS are followed by years of hard work and effort, they will be women of strength, fortitude and confidence- and they will be wonderful wives and mothers.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Wisdom resteth in the heart of him that hath understanding: but [that which is] in the midst of fools is made known" Proverbs 14:33

Is interracial marriage scriptural?

It is sad that there is world-wide prejudice amongst people of different race. White people are prejudiced about coloured people and vice versa. As Christians, this shouldn’t be for Christ died for all men. John 12:32 ‘and I, if I be lifted up from the earth, will draw all men unto me.’ Romans 14:11 For it is written, As I live, saith the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God." Yet despite this, we still have Christians who are prejudiced against people of different race or colour.

Often Christians ask if inter-racial marriage is scriptural. I believe it is, but let's actually see what the Word says....

The case for the Ethiopian (black) woman in Numbers 12:1-10

And Miriam and Aaron spake against Moses because of the Ethiopian woman whom he had married: for he had married an Ethiopian woman. And they said, Hath the LORD indeed spoken only by Moses? hath he not spoken also by us? And the LORD heard [it].

(Now the man Moses [was] very meek, above all the men which [were] upon the face of the earth.) And the LORD spake suddenly unto Moses, and unto Aaron, and unto Miriam, Come out ye three unto the tabernacle of the congregation. And they three came out.

And the LORD came down in the pillar of the cloud, and stood [in] the door of the tabernacle, and called Aaron and Miriam: and they both came forth.

And he said, Hear now my words: If there be a prophet among you, [I] the LORD will make myself known unto him in a vision, [and] will speak unto him in a dream.

My servant Moses [is] not so, who [is] faithful in all mine house.

With him will I speak mouth to mouth, even apparently, and not in dark speeches; and the similitude of the LORD shall he behold: wherefore then were ye not afraid to speak against my servant Moses? And the anger of the LORD was kindled against them; and he departed.

And the cloud departed from off the tabernacle; and, behold, Miriam [became] leprous, [white] as snow: and Aaron looked upon Miriam, and, behold, [she was] leprous.

Here we see that the LORD was angry because of the way Miriam and Aaron spoke against Moses marrying a black woman. If Miriam was made a leper because of Gods' displeasure in her speaking against an innocent man then we can see that God has no qualms about inter-racial marriage. Obviously, God did not even hint that Moses had sinned by marrying an Ethiopian woman.

The Bible never classes a coloured person as a second rate person as we see in this beautiful story of the Spirit causing Philip to evangelise an Ethiopian (black) eunuch. And then we see his subsequent salvation and baptism. Acts 8:26 And the angel of the Lord spake unto Philip, saying, Arise, and go toward the south unto the way that goeth down from Jerusalem unto Gaza, which is desert. And he arose and went: and, behold, a man of Ethiopia, an eunuch of great authority under Candace queen of the Ethiopians, who had the charge of all her treasure, and had come to Jerusalem for to worship, Was returning, and sitting in his chariot read Esaias the prophet.

Then the Spirit said unto Philip, Go near, and join thyself to this chariot. And Philip ran thither to [him], and heard him read the prophet Esaias, and said, Understandest thou what thou readest? And he said, How can I, except some man should guide me? And he desired Philip that he would come up and sit with him. The place of the scripture which he read was this, He was led as a sheep to the slaughter; and like a lamb dumb before his shearer, so opened he not his mouth: In his humiliation his judgment was taken away: and who shall declare his generation? for his life is taken from the earth. And the eunuch answered Philip, and said, I pray thee, of whom speaketh the man of himself, or of some other man? Then Philip opened his mouth, and began at the same scripture, and preached unto him Jesus. 

And as they went on [their] way, they came unto a certain water: and the eunuch said, See, [here is] water; what doth hinder me to be baptized? And Philip said, If thou believest with all thine heart, thou mayest. And he answered and said, I believe that Jesus Christ is the Son of God. And he commanded the chariot to stand still: and they went down both into the water, both Philip and the eunuch; and he baptized him. And when they were come up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord caught away Philip, that the eunuch saw him no more: and he went on his way rejoicing.

So even though man makes distinctions, God sees people as people regardless of their race.

Nowhere in scripture do we see God telling us not to marry if our intended spouse is of another ethnic or racial persuasion to us....He does tell us repeatedly that we are only to marry another Christian.... and I see that as irregardless of colour or race...

There may be a few more difficulties with handling the prejudices of others: I do not see that as a scriptural matter. Obviously from the scriptures showing Miriam and Aarons' disapproval of Moses' marriage to a woman of colour, we can see that there has always been a prejudice of some people regarding inter-racial marriage. However, God does not require that we marry only someone of the same race as ourselves...only we are to marry "in the LORD"

© Glenys Robyn Hicks                   

Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness? 2 Corinthians 6:14

Sick wives despised by their husbands

I have recently read Debi Pearl's book "Created To Be His Helpmeet" Frankly, I think the book is scripturally unsound and borders on demeaning and insulting to women. What Debi Pearl says about the sick wife is just one area where I find a lack of compassion and an almost mysogynistic outlook. Here is what she says:

"being pitiful, hurt, discouraged and even sickly is one side of a “bad marriage” coin. Men in general (your husband in particular), are repulsed by women who project this image. A man’s spirit tells him his woman is rejecting him manipulating him when she regularly manifests a broken spirit, and he will react in anger.”

As a woman who suffers from illnesses that cause chronic pain and fatigue, I am so overjoyed to report that my husband doesn’t treat me as a faulty appliance which causes him great anger, but he cherishes me and tries to alleviate my suffering on bad days by sharing in my tasks and closing an eye to that which can’t be done on any particular day. After all, we promised to love each other in sickness and in health. Isn’t that type of commitment what God wants in marriage? So this chapter got me thanking God for the blessing of a husband who puts me first when I need it.

We sacrificial home keepers have enough on our plates already: trying to cope with our illness, be a good wife and mother and run our home. We often deal with disbelieving family members when the illness is an invisible illness like fibromyagia and chronic fatigue. Most likely you too have thought, like I do, that sometimes it would be easier to have an illness or disability that is highly visible rather than endure snide remarks about laziness and so on as we battle on.

Debi and Michael Pearl lack compassion, empathy and love. In my opinion, they lack many Christlike attributes that are the hallmark of a Christian. To put such a heavy yoke onto a sick woman's shoulders is to cause her added stress and anxiety. It is not the way of Christ.

I believe that the majority of sick women fight a courageous battle and do an overwhelmingly good job of being a Helpmeet to their husband. They are usually the hardest on themselves for they want to do that which their healthier Sisters do and they often fail. They do not need the likes of some author (Christian or not), putting the boot in and blaming them for their husbands' anger and spiritual unease. Nor do they need to be made anxious about their marriage.

Over the years, I have observed marriages where the wife is ill and I have seen that the majority of husbands are not as Debi Pearl claims. They love their wife and usually do all they can to support her in her homemaking efforts. They bring their children in line and demand that they take their mothers' health into consideration.

This is the love Christ wants for us, not the "love" portrayed by Debi Pearl. We would do well to reject her ideas on the sick spouse and to thank God that we have the Holy Spirit to lead us into Truth. He is indeed our Comforter.


© Glenys Robyn Hicks



And Jesus went forth, and saw a great multitude, and was moved with compassion toward them, and he healed their sick. Matthew 14:14

A new chapter

Chris and I have always wanted to travel around Australia. Now in our late sixties, our children are all grown, our grandchildren also are older and we now have no aged parents to care for. The stage is set. It is our time.

As you may recall, my mother lost her battle with dementia last December and in the fullness of time, her money from her house sale cleared. She graciously left me enough money to buy our rig and truck and now the time has come to leave for sunny shores. Or in our case, coastline.

So, we have almost finished closing up our rented house. We have either sold or given away most of our stuff and we are almost ready.

I am a little anxious but looking forward to this nomadic lifestyle. I have never done this before. Chris tells me that our life won't change too dramatically. I will still be writing. I will miss going to church, but will take steps to have church at home.

I know God is in this with us, and He remains our Saviour and Friend. We will be carrying Him in our hearts and minds to whomever He places in our path. 

Whatever changes there are, I am still looking forward to this new chapter in our lives. 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: forthe Lord thy God is with thee whithersoever thou goest. Joshua 1:9