Mother, this love is so special that we share, At times I take for granted your love and care, And because today is a special day I want to give this gift to say I really think the world of you, Not only today but all year through.
So yesterday was my 69th birthday. We went to my twin sisters & my sons house for lunch to celebrate.
I really appreciated my sons' effort at the surprise cake he made for us. He's never made a cake in his life. We sang Happy birthday but we all decided not to light 69 candles in case it set the smoke detectors off. He put a few on for traditions sake.
We bought some KFC and enjoyed the family feast barrell. We had just enough chicken to feed four adults and we found we wouldn't need to have a cooked dinner.
This worked out well as I was suffering with a fibromyalgia flare and in fact almost didn't make it to their place for lunch. You know how it is: you arrange something for the next day, and you don't have any spoons when you wake up.
But as Chris pointed out, he was driving and I didn't have to do anything except sit there. So I went.
The trip is one and a half hours each way and I was so tired on the way home that I fell asleep in the car, garotting myself on the seat belt.
So not having to cook when I got home was a blessing. We just had some fruit and a cup of tea. It was enough.
My son lives with my twin who is ill with lupus. He's her carer. He cooks plain meals but never has baked a cake before. So when he brought out his birthday cake, I was more than a little surprised: and the other surprise was that it tasted good as well!
As we blew out the candles, his face was glowing with pride and satisfaction. I saw more than cake yesterday: I saw love!
With the advent of the latest abortion law passed today in New York which allows abortion of a baby for any reason until its due date, and now allowing infanticide of a child up to 28 days after birth, I thought this word heinous described it to a tee.
To wilfully kill a child that is viable and days away from being full-term is murder, pure and simple. To kill it post birth is an abomination. I cannot fathom the depth of depravity of the carrier of the fetus- I refuse to call her a mother, that she could nurture the life within her only to terminate it just before it comes to see the light of day.
Not that the length of gestation matters because a person is a person from conception. But to feel that life within, to endure any hardship socially, physically or financially until the final hours of that pregnancy and then to kill that child beggars belief. I simply can't fathom it. The darkness of the mind of that "mother" is perplexing to me.
Furthermore, the very act of abortion at any stage not only brings death to the baby, but potential death to its carrier, and a very real grief in most women at some stage later in their lives. There is also an increased risk of breast cancer in women who have had abortions..At a late stage like the third trimester terminations, surely it would be better medically if the woman just gave birth and relinquished the baby?
Surely having endured a pregnancy with or without social or financial pressures and having felt the child's movements and steady growth, there would be some interest in the baby's future, and well being? Sufficient to birth it and give it up for adoption? There are so many people longing to have a baby or adopt one, but sadly there are not enough children given the chance of life to meet that need.
I am flummoxed to understand how medical people can inflict such violence on innocents. Human life to them must be so cheap! And as they hold a new family member in their own arms, I wonder if the faces of suffering children they have destroyed come to mind, and if so, does it not move them? I suspect not.
I know I am not alone in feeling sadness, anger and dismay at the destruction of so many babies, and I also know that it strikes at the heart of most people, both saved and unsaved. But I cry for how Father God must grieve for each lost child and for their lost "mothers", for a woman who can destroy her child on a whim is lost until or unless she repents and seeks God's forgiveness.
I truly am in despair for the world right now. It has sunk to an all time low as the fires of Moloch on which innocent children were sacrificed reach an all time high.
Let us all pray for this law to be repealed and for the saving of the innocents. Let us pray for women tempted to utilise these heinous laws that they are given a heart of flesh instead of stone. For make no mistake, this heinous law is a crime against humanity and God. Maranatha!
A friend of mine posted this on her Face Book wall and it was so simple and doable that I wanted to share this with you.
My hands are deformed with arthritis and I have little strength in them. Opening these ring pull cans have always been a challenge to me.
Those cans that need a can opener are simply not purchased anymore. I cannot use one as the arthritis restricts movement.
My fibromyalgia is paining me today and I didn't sleep well last night, so I will be cleaning my kitchen and psyching myself up to take a shower. That and cooking meals is all I will be doing today.
I have been asked to write about how one should react to women who wear slacks. This can be a very divisive issue and the last thing I want to do is stir up a hornets' nest. So as I write this, please keep in mind that my thoughts are just that, I am not a theologian or even a scholar. But I try to live a balanced Christian life that is always held accountable and in accord with Gods' Word.
To get a perspective on what the Word says about how we dress, I would like to refer to this post I wrote in this article here
I believe the scriptures forbid us to wear that which pertains to a man and vice versa to highlight Gods' distaste for perversion of the natural order and cross-dressing. There is usually a very distinct look to slacks that is feminine: however I *personally* do not like blue jeans as they are exceedingly masculine and can create an androgynous air. But I am quite sure there are many Christian women who like to wear them. Dressing in a feminine way can incorporate slacks if they are feminine.
Whether a woman dresses in feminine slacks or dresses and skirts, I believe that as long as she presents as a female and is modest, that this would be acceptable to God. Furthermore, dressing in slacks or dresses is not a salvation issue. I believe we should concentrate on the spiritual aspect of who we befriend and should concentrate on the fact that they are Christian. It is very sad that we miss out on fellowship because a woman is not under the same conviction as us regarding wearing dresses or slacks.
In reacting to women who wear slacks, I would say that they are not sinning. We are called to judge matters of great importance, but we are also called to live in the Spirit in the bond of peace. Worrying about what garments a Christian woman wears is short-circuiting friendship and fellowship that could benefit the Body of Christ. In all things, God calls us to live in balance and in His Word. Genuine faith and a right relationship is the heart of the matter.
But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of hisstature; because I have refused him: for [the LORD seeth] not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7
All of us who suffer with fibromyalgia know that it's a very unpredictable illness. We just can't plan with it as we don't know how we will feel until we wake up- and even then it's unpredictable.
We can start our day with extreme stiffness and pain, yet can come better by mid morning some days. It makes planning our day difficult to say the least.
I can't count the number of times I have had to apologise to someone for not being able to socialise or go shopping. I felt well at the time of arranging or accepting the invite, but fibro had other plans and held my body hostage.
Countless times I have planned to declutter my house or some other chore, and I have even gotten started only to find that my body was yelling at me, "Seriously??" and I had to stop.
It is very challenging and even depressing. But it is what it is. Fibromyalgia is a pain in so many ways!
Lately, I have learned to say to people that I would love to come/do something but because of my fibromyalgia, I won't really know until the day how I will feel. So I will say a tentative yes and hope to be there/see you!
I have had to learn to not be dogmatic about when I will do a certain chore. For example, all my life as a homemaker, I have changed my sheets every Monday. But with the coming of chronic illness, I might not feel well enough to do it that day. I have just had to accept it.
Part of accepting our new normal as Fibromites is to not get too upset if our body fails us on any particular day. We have to remember that tomorrow is another day, and even then it may not support us the day after that. It is just that unpredictable.
I have learned the hard way too that it's no use getting into a funk or berating yourself if fibro calls the shots and shoots down your day. It's not the end of the world, and you just have to flex with fibro...
Sometimes I feel guilty for letting off steam at times but I really believe I could have a bit more support than what I am getting.
We sometimes have words during my fibromyalgia flares and when I have polymyalgia rheumatica at the same time, it can make me scream in desperation. I just want a hand. It helps me emotionally as well as physically and I feel nurtured.
I know my husband is unwell and he has my understanding and utmost sympathy. But sometimes, the pain gets so bad and I have so little spoons that I will yell at him to come and make his own cup of tea or whatever.
After words, I often cry because I aren't usually like that. Pain changes people. Especially unrelenting pain. And unrestorative sleep. Especially that.
Yet, to those who don't know the desperation that pain drives you to, they would just think I was being unreasonable and using my fibro to elicit a response from Chris.
It's not that at all. Our health issues mean that there are times when we have to help one another. And lately when Chris is not well, I find I am left to push myself beyond my own comfort level while he sleeps on the couch.
His pain is not at the same high level mine is. His health issues relate to other issues regarding heart problems. But his issues are difficult for him to bear. I know that.
Chronic illness in both people in a marriage presents its own problems. Each one having pain that makes the eyeballs bulge, causes arguments of who'se pain or condition is worse than the other's. A form of validation if you will.
But here's the scoop about chronic illness. It's not a contest. Just another thing about chronic illness that most don't understand.
And so another week of being at home is upon us. The future is uncertain and looks a bit grim. However, there are some things surfacing out of this that are good.
There is a growing awareness of the value of living life intentionally. Because the Corona Virus is no respecter of age or gender and can be so easily acquired, there is a deeper awareness that tomorrow is not guaranteed. Life is not taken for granted any more.
Our families that live with us may get on our nerves during the isolation, but with it comes a bond or connection to each other as we brave this outbreak.
Social media and mobile phones have been great in bringing us closer in communication, but this isolation has created in most of us a longing for physical contact with those who do not live with us. There is nothing like a hug, and kiss or a hold of the hand.
There has been a greater appreciation of the first responders who truly risk their lives to keep us or our loved ones alive if they contract the virus. They are to be honoured above all others. No longer taken for granted: they are the epitomy of servanthood and sacrifice.
The chance to revive family ties or marriages is here with no work to keep us apart, and intimacy both in marriage and with the parenting relationship have the opportunity to thrive. The family is no longer taken for granted. Nor is love.
So much is changing, but as at Easter, traditional worship was replaced by streamed online services, and social distancing when at the chemist or supermarket are enforced: helping life retain some normalcy and stability.
Rona has forced the whole world to stop and reassess and has found us guilty. Guilty of believing life would just continue as it was and largely taken for granted.
There is so much negativity brought on by this virus, but one thing is positive from all of this: we will never again take our freedom, our worship, our family or our friends for granted.
Have you wondered why old ladies are always talking about the past, boring you with endless stories of their family? Every birthday, Nana or Grandma recounts the birth of your father or uncle or mother? or even you.
Are you bored with hearing about how hard life was in the Depression of the 30's and how they never had many labour saving devices and appliances like we do now? How about when they had cash in their purse or wallet, and plastic cards were unheard of..
As an older woman nearly 70, I do exactly that, I know I do. Every birthday I find myself telling my adult children about their birth, weight, length, good looks and how much I love them.
I often reminisce about their childhood and our homes and life back in the day. Sometimes they don't even try to hide the fact that I am boring them. Yet to me, talking of these things comes as naturally as breathing air.
It's never a productive day if I find myself culling double ups of my online photos. I spend so much time reliving bygone days and sometimes it actually depresses me. Nostalgia can do that.
Why does it depress you? you ask. It depresses me because a lot of the people in the photos have passed. Some family in pictures- mainly cousins- no longer keep in touch in spite of me reaching out via FaceBook. They simply aren't interested in being a family anymore.
I relive certain times and wish I had or hadn't done something or other, knowing that such thinking is futile because we did the best we could with what we had at the time. It has to be enough to know that.
It hurts me to see pictures of happier days when I babysat grandchildren and those same grandchildren now grown, don't bother to ring me or call in. Yes, yes, I know they have busy lives, but I did too back then and I still found time for them.
It is sad when I am not even invited to theirs or my grandchildren's birthday parties, having been the organiser and host of so many of them for them and their friends at their birthdays. But like an old shoe, I have been cast off to be forgotten.
It doesn't help when one gives their children their baby albums and Infant Welfare Record Books, with locks of hair and tiny wrist band from the hospital- only to find they have been thrown out and not cherished like you did for many many years.
Precious memories are all we really have, us old ladies. The saddest thing of all is discovering that they are only precious to us.
So my fibromyalgia is back with a passion, making every muscle ache. I tried to take a bath a couple of days ago and I had great difficulty getting out. I had to use a pillow under my knee and I had no other option than to lean on it to get up. It was so painful and the consequences are enormous.
I know I shouldn't have tried with both knees with torn menisci and other ligament damage. I was in so much pain that I longed for a bath to hopefully relax my muscles. It didn't. Nor did it help my sore neck with another episode of polymyalgia rheumatica.
This constant pain is wearing me down. My doctor is too afraid to give me pain relief and I am considering changing doctors. This creates anxiety in me. And to top it all off, I have been cranky and not really a nice person to be near at the moment.
With Chris ill himself, I seem to be carrying everything myself with no help in sight. Take this morning for example. I put on a load of washing, cleaned Xena's litter tray and unloaded and loaded the dishwasher.
Testing our blood sugar level before breakfast, I asked Chris what he wanted for breakfast. He told me what he wanted, just sitting there waiting for me to get it for him. I am sorry to report that I arced up and told him to get it himself.
I added some other truths about him acting like he's the only one with pain and that I am tired of being his servant when all he does is watch TV and sleep all day. You gotta understand, that usually this isn't an issue, but the pain has truly worn me down.
Chris asked me what I had done so far this morning. I told him and he replied that it isn't necessary to push myself like I am doing. Push myself? Doing minimum household chores?
I told him I was just trying to live a normal life and he replied, "But you aren't normal! You have got to realise that and accept it!" But in fact, what I do is pared down to the bone housekeeping compared to what it was even 10 years ago. How much less can I do and still manage to live a relatively clean and organised life? Single handedly.
Over the 23 years of having fibromyalgia I have had a determination like stone. I would not let fibromyalgia or indeed any of my other painful conditions control my life. And for the most part it hasn't. Until today. It's chipping away at the stone.
It may seem strange to some, but even in the worst pain, you will find me playing Candy Crush in an effort to distract my mind from the pain.
The rheumatologist suggested to my daughter who suffers from fibromyalgia and pain post chemo, to use it as a distraction from the pain. She was one of these mind over matters kind of doctors. We were not very optimistic to be honest.
As a sufferer of not only fibromyalgia but ankylosing spondylitis, spinal canal stenosis coupled with bad arthitis and angina, I thought it may help me. It helps a little. But Tramadol would be better!
My doctor won't let me have them. Even though he knows I only take them as required for high pain days like today. He gave it to me when my second knee tore and it helped my fibro pain so much. Then he closed shop!
I know there have been many who abused pain-killers but when basic pain relief is available only with a chemist's approval such as Panadol with codeine, it makes life more difficult for the person like myself, to get any relief at all.
With fibro flaring and another episode of polymyalgia rheumatica, I have been tempted to take some of my Prednisolone, but I am worried about the side effects. I tell you truly, I am feeling desperate.
So even though you may see me playing Candy Crush or online a lot, I can honestly say that it's for medicinal purposes. I will be a Candy Crush addict any day if it will relieve the pain.
Just don't tell the do-gooders. If they think we are liable to become addicts, they'll make FB take it off their site! You fellow pain sufferers know they will. We have gone mad in our correctness!
So last Thursday I ordered my online Easter grocery shop. The driver had just taken off after delivering our order and immediately on starting to put it away, I noticed a bag that I hadn't ordered.
In it were four packets of frozen Hoki fish fillets and 2 packets of sweet potato fries and 2 packets of sea salt and rosemary chips.
I quickly rang the supermarket online customer service. There was a wait of an hour to talk to a human, so I "talked" to the AI bot there called Olive.
Olive was of no use to me. She told me to keep the goods as it was the supermarket's fault and accept them with their compliments.
The bot also told me there were no deliveries the next day as it was Good Friday, so obviously there was no way to get the bag of frozen foods to the correct purchaser.
I felt quite sad for the lady as I imagine this was what she had planned to feed her family Good Friday. I had done all I could but I couldn't help but feel sorry for her. I had been in a similar situation last Christmas and it's not nice.
I hope the lady was able to rustle up something else for Good Friday. Seeing as I have the fish and chips here I plan to use them Wednesday when family come up for lunch.
With my fibromyalgia flaring and a recurrence of polymyalgia rheumatica, I don't want to be cooking as I am out of spoons and in pain.
During this particular time, we had no spare money for extras which included Easter eggs for the grandchildren. They get plenty of chocolate, so they won't go without, but it was a bit difficult to not be able to give them any this year.
That extra food will come in handy as I haven't done another weekly shop and can't until next week. I guess the LORD has provided for our needs and for that I am grateful. He does work in mysterious ways sometimes!
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