Empty buckets

I did an enneagram test for fun the other day. It said I was a 2 which basically is a helper who needs to be needed. It sounds like me. Or the past me.

Always trying to help and indeed, called on often in time of trouble, it has been my pleasure to respond to the call. Until recently.

Since we had so many changes in the last 6 months, I have found my spoons are lacking. I cry easily, both when I am sad and also when happy. I hunger for solitude and just watching the bird life around us. I need time to heal not only from the meniscus tear in my left knee, but emotionally. I am tired.

No matter how tired I feel, I drag myself to church because I need it. I am indeed grateful to the LORD for so much.  I love to listen to the Bible on You Tube and I play hymns in the background most of the day. Prayer is often ongoing for hours and I am gradually finding peace again.

It's good that we are now retired as there are days when the fibromyalgia flares and I can't stay awake, and I now just go to bed and have a nana nap whenever it is necessary. 

It has taken me 66 years to realise that it is true that 

1. I am not responsible for fixing everything or everyone who is broken. But I can pray for them.
2. It is OK to say no if I honestly can't cope with a request. I don't have to feel guilty 
3. It is OK to admit to being over something and not to be stoic and push myself mercilessly

It is important to recognise burn out and to take steps to heal. Taking care of yourself is not being selfish. There will be time after your healing to be a helper again. Not recognising burn out will result in you having a physical or emotional meltdown. And no one is going to benefit if you have lost your joie de vivre or your milk of human kindness is dried up and you have only empty buckets to give.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And he said unto them, Come ye yourselves apart into a desert place, and rest a while: for there were many coming and going, and they had no leisure so much as to eat. Mark 6:31

Footnote: since writing this post, I have learned that enneagrams originated from new age practices and automatic writing. I will not be doing any quizzes etc regarding this again. Thank you, Janine for making me aware of this. 

It's a beautiful evening

The sun is sinking under the nearby hills, leaving pink streaks in the sky. I have drawn the drapes and lit the lamps.

My dishes from dinner are drying in the drainer. Xena has been fed and is indoors sitting with her Dad, Chris.

The weather is slightly cool and we have put our fire on low which gives a cosy effect. I love my home, my husband and my cat... and of course, my God.

Not only has He blessed us with a lovely home to live in, but He graciously gave me a few surprise spoons (energy) this afternoon. I managed to do what was on my list, plus I finished off putting all my clean washing away.

We live a simple life, but it is one of contentment and joy. I am believing for a good sleep tonight. I have already taken my medications and I can retire any time after an hour. I must remain upright and awake for an hour after taking them or my sleep is fitful and sore. I know that if I lay down soon after taking them that I can either have GERD or aspirate some acid and develop pneumonia. I have had pneumonia three times. I don't know why my sleep is fitful and my muscles sore if I don't wait an hour, but I am sick of trying to work it out: It is what it is.

Soon I will join Chris in the lounge room and no doubt Xena will jump up onto my lap for a cuddle and cat nap. As soon as she hears me say I am going to B.E.D. she springs off my lap and nearly trips me up to get there before me. I have to spell B.E.D. because she knows the word- yes she does. She's a smart girlie!

As I lay thanking God for the good in each day before I sleep, I can be sure of one thing: my little feline mate will be under the covers, pressed up against my back. She is always purring at night and I have no doubt that she too is grateful for the ending day. And for a Mum who overlooks cat fur and her tickling cat whiskers!  All in all, it's a beautiful evening! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

It is in vain that you rise up early and go late to rest, eating the bread of anxious ... To take rest late, To eat the bread of toil; For so he giveth unto his beloved sleep. Psalm 127:2

Cat fur and tickling whiskers!

The sun is sinking under the nearby hills, leaving pink streaks in the sky. I have drawn the drapes and lit the lamps. 

My dishes from dinner are drying in the drainer. Xena has been fed and is indoors sitting with her Dad, Chris. 

The weather is slightly cool and we have put our fire on low which gives a cosy effect. I love my home, my husband and my cat... and of course, my God. 

Not only has He  blessed us with a lovely home to live in, but He graciously gave me a few surprise spoons (energy) this afternoon.  I managed to do what was on my list, plus I finished off putting all my clean washing away.

We live a simple life, but it is one of contentment and joy. I am believing for a good sleep tonight. I have already taken my medications and I can retire any time after an hour. I must remain upright and awake for an hour after taking them or my sleep is fitful and sore. I know that if I lay down soon after taking them that I can either have GERD or aspirate some acid and develop pneumonia. I have had pneumonia three times. I don't know why my sleep is fitful and my muscles sore if I don't wait an hour, but I am sick of trying to work it out: It is what it is.

Soon I will join Chris in the lounge room and no doubt Xena will jump up onto my lap for a cuddle and cat nap. As soon as she hears me say I am going to B.E.D. she springs off my lap and nearly trips me up to get there before me.  I have to spell B.E.D. because she knows the word- yes she does. She's a smart girlie! 

As I lay thanking God for the good in each day before I sleep, I can be sure of one thing: my little feline mate will be under the covers, pressed up against my back. She is always purring at night and I have no doubt that she too is grateful for the ending day. And for a Mum who overlooks cat fur and her tickling cat whiskers! 

What I wouldn't give for a good sleep

Last night was a fizzer regarding sleeping. No matter how I positioned myself, sleep eluded me most of the night. I have woken up this morning so sore and tired that I don't know what to do with myself.

From twenty odd years of suffering from fibromyalgia, I know that today is going to be a wipe out. So I will be pacing myself and only doing the bare minimum of chores.

Yesterday I felt like this, but we had waited a week to see a new doctor and we had to go see him. He was good and seems to know his stuff. We have a few baseline blood tests to get done before we see him again next week.

We are into cooler weather with a top of 28C predicted. I have washed two loads of clothes and am too tired to hang it out. Sometimes you have to compromise when you have chronic illness. Sometimes you win, most time it does! 

I shopped online for groceries yesterday: the Woolworths delivery man is due soon... I am saving my few spoons to put the shopping away and mark it off the shopping list as received...

Things on my to do list today:

1. Put the food away
2. Cook my homemade pasta sauce in the slow cooker for spaghetti bolognaise tonight
3. Rest

That will have to do for today as I am having trouble keeping awake. What I wouldn't give for a good sleep! 

Scarce as hen's teeth

It is quite cold here today: 8C! By midday we should be hitting 24C which is quite pleasant. I have the reverse cycle air con set on 22C which is quite comfortable.  Xena our little white cat got up, used her tray, had some kibbles and went back to bed. Before I came out to the study, she was seen nestled next to Chris under the doona. So when she does that, you know it's cold!

My plans for today are

1. Catch up on last night's dishes
2. Do some washing
3. Go to the doctor and chemist
4. Do some grocery shopping
5. Cook sausages, veg and mashed sweet potato and potato

Fibromyalgia has me aching everywhere but there's no time to go to bed.  Today we are going to see a new doctor here. We only know his name but haven't seen him yet. Our little township has a drought on doctors with the average wait a week.  With all of our many illnesses, we are praying that this guy knows his stuff. But even so, beggars can't be choosers: doctors in the country are scarce as hens' teeth!

Poppycock!

We gave such a lot happening today in this world that is frightening. It's no use trying to pretend that we are not at all concerned about what's happening: we would be fools not to be concerned about it.

I won't lie and pretend that I haven't been fearful, but I make myself remember God's promises to be with us no matter what, and I can bring the fear into the captivity of Christ.

We must cling to God and His promises if we are to have any peace about world events. We have to run to Him and not from Him.

Some people feel that if a Christian is afraid that they are not truly saved. That is a lie from Hell. It is just another way that the enemy gets to us when we are down. God does not turn away from us if we feel fear. He wants us to run to Him. He's a loving Father.

In running to Him, we will be comforted and have peace and that is something the evil one does not want. Those who judge the fearful Christian by saying they are not saved because of being afraid are doing the evil one's bidding: causing defeat, misery and false guilt.

The Word says that nothing can separate us from the love of God. Jesus calls Himself the Good Shepherd.

And our Good Shepherd laid down His life to save us. He's not going to turn us away because we are afraid.

To suggest that a moment of fearfulness means we are not saved is dangerous. It denies our humanity. It presumes to judge. It spreads falsehood. It negates the work of God. It upholds the work of Satan. It seeks to nullify the Blood of Christ.

I am sure that God would approve of my judgement of this false teaching by using one word to describe it: poppycock!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.  He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever. Psalm 23

A joyful day!

Today has started out to be most joyful. I have been watching the birdlife in our back garden and you can see some of the birds enjoying the bread I have just thrown out to them.

Another happy event was the heavy rain just stopping at the taking of the video. With many bushfires around us still burning-(they can burn slowly for months with all the undergrowth), it is good to know the rain will be helping put some of them out. 

Weather is strangely cold for the hottest month of the year. We are sitting on 17C with temperatures set in the middle to high 20's next week. 

My fibromyalgia is still flaring with weather changes making for great muscle pain and fatigue. So today I will be following the Monday List

On today's to do list includes:

1. Folding up some of the washing that I didn't get round to on Saturday
2. Making a Shepherd's Pie with vegetables for dinner
3. Sorting my pills out for next week and recording prescriptions repeats needed

All in all, I will be resting as well as working, pacing myself as I go. And you can be sure I will be looking out at the flowers lifting up their heads to the rain as the birds fly into my garden.

Taking pride in your washing

Have you ever thought that doing the washing was not that important? Clothes are a witness to the world of the type of wife or mother you are. It is said that clothes maketh the man. In this world of ours, where man looks on the outward appearance, it is true. God does know our heart but man only has his senses to go by. If our family’s clothes are not cared for properly, if our husband goes to the office in an unironed shirt or crumpled trousers, not only does it reflect badly on you, but also may hold him back from that promotion he has been hoping for.

The children’s clothing too can tell whether a child is loved or not. A child may very well have clothing that has dirt on it from play, but most of us can tell if a child’s clothing is really just dirty from play or plain filthy.

I believe that clothes should be well maintained and ironed. They should be modest and reflect cleanliness and be spotless. Proverbs tells us that the godly woman wears expensive clothing. She dresses well and maintains her family’s clothes. Her husband is known at the gates of the city- obviously well respected. Can you imagine the amount of respect he would have if he was dressed in clothing that was dirty and crumpled?

Doing the family washing is not hard if you think it through. I wash everything in cold water. I soak the whites overnight in cold water and detergent which is specifically made for cold water washing. I do the same with the towels. I add a 50/50 solution of white vinegar and fabric softener- that makes them nice and fluffy and odour-free. My washing is always clean and fresh.

I usually hang it outside to dry or over the clothes horse under a ducted heating vent in the wet days. Saves on electricity bills and I also think I save money by using the cold water. (My Mum always used warm water/ cold rinse) But honestly, we are on a tight budget and I need to squeeze every way I can to save money. I have found that sometimes hot water washing can make clothes stiff and they can lose their colour quickly.

I know that doing the washing seems to be one of those chores that we either love or hate. It seems a small thing, yet the maintenance of our clothes detract or enhance our overall presentation and speaks volumes. I am sure the Proverbs 31 woman must have taken pride in her washing and family’s presentation- we can afford to do no less!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"Her husband is known in the gates when he sitteth among the elders of the land" Proverbs 31:23

What a drenching!

There's nothing nicer than being in bed listening to the rain on a tin roof. Especially if you don't have to go out in it...

L

I took this picture from our back door just after I fed some bread to the birds that frequent our garden. I love the smell of the rain! We are getting some relief from the heat with a top temperature forecast for 21C or 69.8F. 

It was my plan to go to church this morning, but with all the storm activity yesterday my fibromyalgia's flaring and I honestly can't make it. Hopefully, next Sunday will be better.

Usually, I listen to the Bible on You Tube and worship and rest at home when I can't go. Which is often, unfortunately. 

I will be hanging up the clothes I took out to wear there this morning. Later on I will cook some curried sausages in the slow cooker, which is my favourite way of cooking when I am in a flare.

There are a few dishes in the sink soaking in hot soapy water as per Sylvia's Sunday List. I will attend to them later on after I have had a rest. 

It isn't ideal that I am seeking to go back to bed so early in the day, but such is the life of a chronically ill person. I no longer feel any false guilt over it like I did in the early days of finding out what my new normal would be.  I can only get through this flare by resting...

So list of to do's today:

1. Hang up clothes
2. Set slow cooker going with sausages for dinner
3. Rest

And last but not least, I will be rejoicing as more rain falls giving our parched land a drenching! 

What more can I say?

Over the years, I have heard a lot of false teachings, seen a lot of strange things, and read a lot of false theology.  I have been the victim of some false teachings and false accusations, and when I questioned them, I was told that I had an unteachable spirit....  I have been swept along in hyper-faith teachings, until I realised that the problem with these is that they fail to allow God to be sovereign... they promote Self over God... sound familiar?

We are called not to judge people, however, we are wise to discern first what we will accept is from God. Be wise and do what the Bereans did- check everything you hear or read against the Word. If it doesn't line up, ditch it....and if someone doesn't agree with you after checking with the Word, don't accept what they have to say- especially if they say you disagree because you have an unteachable spirit.

If you have weighed up the teaching and found it contrary to the Word, and then someone tells you that you have an unteachable spirit, it closes the door to further conversation with them. Whatever they are teaching is not scriptural and they are not open to correction. What more can I say?

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

These were more noble than those in Thessalonica, in that they received the word with all readiness of mind, and searched the scriptures daily, whether those things were so. Acts 17:11

First we have tea

We had a very fitful sleep last night due to the temperatures being so high yesterday. Our reverse cycle air conditioner just doesn't make it up to the front of the house and our bedroom is right at the front, faces east and catches the sun all day. It was like an oven in our room with the temp being 23C all night. Our fan only blew hot air around....

It is supposed to be 30C today with thunder storms later. We always have our Emergency phone app on to advise us on fire activity as we live in the country. Last year Chris's son, who lives near us, had to evacuate his family because of fires and this is something we are prepared for. 

In the front guest room we have our important documents, spare medicines and some clothing and our photos on USB  disk. They are easy to grab in case we get the evacuation call. With high fire danger today and lightning strikes a possibility, we have our fire plan in place. Yes, it's firmly in place,  along with our little white cat, Xena's cat cage. Just in case...

I am currently listening to the Bible on You Tube and it is great for times when I am in a fibromyalgia flare and can't take in what I am reading. This is my preferred method of quiet time on days like today when my fibro is bad and I am lacking sleep and spoons. 

So because of lack of spoons and much heat, we plan to stay home today. So far, I have showered, dressed and taken my medications. I have a few things planned for today:

1. I need to fold and put away three loads of washing.
2. I want to make a lamb stew in the slow cooker for dinner (so as not to heat up the kitchen)
3. I want to resume following FlyLady by jumping in wherever the zone is for today.

I usually use FlyLady and Sylvia Britton's Lists for chronically ill women depending on how I feel each day.  I use the List for the day, then I may follow FlyLady's zone for 15mins. Today I am doing 15 minutes of cleaning in Zone 1 in FlyLady.

If I get these three things done today, it will be good. I will just cross off those things I achieve. We will see. But first we have tea. Everything goes better with a cup of tea!

Grace-filled keyboard warriors

I  have  blogged  for over  twenty years  now.  As  a  chronically  ill,  mostly  house-bound woman,  it  is  a form  of witnessing and serving God that is achievable for me. And although I feel close to God in the writings and  I enjoy a sense of usefulness, there's often horrid comments behind the scenes which spoil it all...

These comments are  like hounds baying for blood if a post happens to be something readers disagree with. And, yes: it's usually taken out of context to prove their point. Sad thing is it's actually God's Word they are fighting over. Still, it's all good- as long as we remember for Whom we write. 

This is not limited to blogging comments, but social media in general. People are often so aggressive and needlessly rude. It's almost impossible to post anything without the drama of offending someone. Which isn't often the case at all.

I often wonder just what these keyboard warriors think when they spew hateful comments from their keyboard. Are they not aware that there's a person with feelings on the receiving end? or don't they care?  I believe it's the latter...

It's quite easy to insult or demean someone you can't see. It's akin to the pilots bombing the cities in war time- just release the bombs and high tail it out of return firing range. They don't deal with the death, destruction and carnage at ground level...

But  ultimately,  words  are  as damaging as those  bombs.  We  have  people who have  suicided over being bullied online. We have to stop and think before we write. Written or spoken words have the power to harm or uplift.

In light of this, I have culled my friends list on Face Book and also have reassessed and often left, those groups and pages that are rife with trolls who hurt each other with hurtful comments. 

Some of these groups were Christian groups where people spoke "in love". There's nothing loving about demeaning someone online under the guise of helping them avoid error. Let all be done in love. The love of Christ.

My hope  is that  keyboard warriors will  actually stop and think before they slam into someone.  There's a place for correction and  there's a  Way.  The Way.  Let's use our keyboard to bring the best out  of ourselves and to others.  In love. In humility. In Truth.

Let  us  use  our  keyboards  to  impart  hope,  strength  and  holiness as  unto  the  LORD.  May we  speak words of grace, seasoned with salt and may we  become  grace-filled keyboard warriors!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man. Colossians 4:6