Morning Cuppas With Glenys : Our Children

Showing posts with label Our Children. Show all posts

Drop and run.

Apparently over here, there's a day care mothers' strategy for sick children called, "drop and run". If the child is showing signs of being unwell, they are given paracetamol twenty minutes before arriving at day care. That gives it time to take affect and the child appears well.

Mum just drops the child off as usual and goes to work. As soon as the symptoms reappear, they try to contact Mum but she won't answer her phone. Result: a sick child who needs attention and a day care facility in danger of infecting all there. That's why children in day care often get sick.

I understand the need to keep down a job, but surely dumping a sick child on paid carers would ensure that a loving mother would not do a good job.

Really, her job in God's sight would be staying home caring for her sick child. It would be better for the child, better for the mother and better for the carers. Our sick children deserve better than to be pawns in the drop and run game.

"Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10

Is your husband a happily married man?

Most of us married people want to be happy in our marriage. We want it to last forever and we want our husband to be happy. A big part of a man's happiness involves how loved, respected and appreciated he feels. So how do we make him feel that?

With Chris, he appreciates me listening to him and giving him my full attention. So when he talks to me about things that I have no interest in like cars and motorbikes and so on, I make myself listen and interact with him. This is a real test of my patience for me because we are together 24/7 every day of the year.

He doesn't help me much in the home because of his own health issues, so when he does, I thank him sincerely. Usually I give him a kiss as well because his love language is touch. Fortunately mine is as well.

I think honest appreciation and praise help build a man's esteem and I often tell Chris what I love about him and we celebrate little anniversaries of events like when we got engaged, our first kiss and so on. It keeps our love alive.

Although once I said that Chris is a good man but a horrible patient, I don't bag him to others- especially family. I think that is something that a lot of married people do and it makes a man feel anything but appreciated and respected.

Like most people if they are honest, we have had an occasional fight, but generally I would say that we both feel respected, appreciated and loved.

On the private side of marriage, I feel it's important to be affectionate and responsive to your husband and never belittle him if he truly isn't a Don Juon.

In regards to parenting, I believe a man can be shot down in flames in front of his children if we are not united in front of them. Respect and appreciation is necessary so as not to usurp his authority as a father and leader of the home.

A man's provision for his family should never be called into question. He is usually spinning his wheel as fast as he can at work and we should never belittle him or grumble about how much other men are earning more than him.

One should never emasculate one's husband by suggesting he "get a real job" when he is toiling at a job that some consider beneath them.

We must show our appreciation and respect of him as bread winner by supporting him in whatever line of work he's in. Respect and appreciation make a man feel loved.

It is within a wife's power to keep a man happy and feeling respected and appreciated. Any man can be married, but not happy. Is your husband a happily married man?

For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror. 1 Peter 3:5-6

It fills the void of an empty nest.

I have had our granddaughter Taylah, 10 with us for a few days as it's school holidays here and her mother works. Sunday we picked her up and we took her home Wednesday.

It's been proven that children who have grandparents active in their life are happier than children who don't- so much so, that older people are hired to be "grandparents" to children who lack them.

I think it's a two way street though. All 15 grandchildren and one great grandchild have had quality time with us and enjoyed it, but I have to say that it was reciprocal and we enjoy being there for them.

Taylah in particular has spent a lot of time with us as her mother is a single mother and works hard and long hours. Taylah has enjoyed seeing life as a country girl, learnt basic cooking skills, role played as a nurse or hairdresser or doctor, made cubby houses with me, read stories to me when she got advanced in her reading, learnt about lineage and cultures of us, her grandparents, learnt even about Judaism, basic facts of life when necessary, basic baby care, learned to speak some Italian and French, and much else- besides the most important- she has come to a saving knowledge of Christ.

Over the years, all this has been passed on to her in an easy, matter of fact way, and she has sometimes stretched my knowledge in answering her very clever questions. Being a curious child, she has been happy to learn and I in turn, have been happy to teach her.

Teaching our children and grandchildren is a natural thing and it is biblical. We not only train them, but pass down vital information that is from generation to generation. It is a responsibility that I take seriously, and as a grandmother, I find I not only have the time to step in the gap to help my busy daughter earn a wage, but I help her raise her child in a well rounded, informed way.

I find that taking time with our grandchildren not only helps them avoid being depressed, but helps us as well. Grandchildren, like our children, keep us young, and fill the void of an empty nest.

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

Taken for granted

And so another week of being at home is upon us. The future is uncertain and looks a bit grim. However, there are some things surfacing out of this that are good.

There is a growing awareness of the value of living life intentionally. Because the Corona Virus is no respecter of age or gender and can be so easily acquired, there is a deeper awareness that tomorrow is not guaranteed. Life is not taken for granted any more.

Our families that live with us may get on our nerves during the isolation, but with it comes a bond or connection to each other as we brave this outbreak.

Social media and mobile phones have been great in bringing us closer in communication, but this isolation has created in most of us a longing for physical contact with those who do not live with us. There is nothing like a hug, and kiss or a hold of the hand.

There has been a greater appreciation of the first responders who truly risk their lives to keep us or our loved ones alive if they contract the virus. They are to be honoured above all others. No longer taken for granted: they are the epitomy of servanthood and sacrifice.

The chance to revive family ties or marriages is here with no work to keep us apart, and intimacy both in marriage and with the parenting relationship have the opportunity to thrive. The family is no longer taken for granted. Nor is love.

So much is changing, but as at Easter, traditional worship was replaced by streamed online services, and social distancing when at the chemist or supermarket are enforced: helping life retain some normalcy and stability.

Rona has forced the whole world to stop and reassess and has found us guilty. Guilty of believing life would just continue as it was and largely taken for granted.

There is so much negativity brought on by this virus, but one thing is positive from all of this: we will never again take our freedom, our worship, our family or our friends for granted.

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Tending to our spirit

When reading the story of Mary and Martha in Luke 10:40, many people think that Jesus was rebuking Martha in a negative way. But I don't believe this is so. He in fact, was liberating her from her perfectionism and showing her that there is more to life than just the mundane.

You may recall that Martha was busy serving and preparing the evening meal, whereas Mary was simply enjoying listening to Jesus. Martha was doing an important job, as do we wives and mothers when we manage our households and serve our families.

We all know that preparing three meals a day, washing and ironing, cleaning and tidying the house, as well as caring for those of our household- and even extended households sometimes, is mundane. But no one would suggest it wasn't important. So Jesus wasn't undermining its' importance, but He was saying that putting the things of the LORD first is a better way.....

Have you ever thought about how we can so easily get too involved with the practical aspects and lose out on the social and spiritual side? I often plan to make time for Bible reading, or playing with my grandchildren or spending time with Chris, only to find that I have found something else to do. I need to prioritise my life.

So, we must look at the Titus 2 order of priorities- love God, love your husband, love your children, then be a worker at home! This layout of priorities also emphasises the importance that our husbands be our first priority after God! That means my children are second to the needs of my husband. To clarify- that does not mean if a child is crying or needs something that we don't attend to them. It means we defer to our husband and put his wishes before our children's. Children do not run the household- you do!

Often times we get so busy serving our husbands and children that we overlook enjoying them! Take time to enjoy the other important things in life, your children: they will grow up fast, and this season will be short! Leave the household chores that aren’t urgent to the children's nap times, and spend time enjoying them while they are awake! Make time for your husband. He will be happier for it, you will feel more fulfilled and your children will have a happier home life because you have a good marriage!

And remember to spend time with God, for He is our firm foundation. God wants us to enjoy our life. Let us then be balanced and live under His Umbrella of Protection. For in Gods' Divine Order, we will find the balance we need for the other important things.We need to tend to the mundane things like housework, but we see that Jesus says it's important to tend to our spirit too.

But Martha was cumbered about much serving, and came to him, and said, Lord, dost thou not care that my sister hath left me to serve alone? bid her therefore that she help me. Luke 10:40

A special love

Mother, this love is so special that we share,
At times I take for granted your love and care,
And because today is a special day
I want to give this gift to say
I really think the world of you,
Not only today but all year through.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, and to be a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

Heinous acts

heinous

/ˈheɪnəs,ˈhiːnəs/

adjective

(of a person or wrongful act, especially a crime) utterly odious or wicked.

"a battery of heinous crimes"

synonyms:

odious, wicked, evil, atrocious, monstrous, disgraceful,
abominable, detestable, contemptible, reprehensible, despicable,
horrible, horrific, horrifying, terrible, awful, abhorrent, loathsome, outrageous,
shocking, shameful, hateful, hideous, unspeakable, unpardonable, unforgivable,
inexcusable, execrable, ghastly, iniquitous, villainous, nefarious, beneath contempt, beyond the pale;

With the advent of the latest abortion law passed today in New York which allows abortion of a baby for any reason until its due date, and now allowing infanticide of a child up to 28 days after birth, I thought this word heinous described it to a tee.

To wilfully kill a child that is viable and days away from being full-term is murder, pure and simple. To kill it post birth is an abomination. I cannot fathom the depth of depravity of the carrier of the fetus- I refuse to call her a mother, that she could nurture the life within her only to terminate it just before it comes to see the light of day.

Not that the length of gestation matters because a person is a person from conception. But to feel that life within, to endure any hardship socially, physically or financially until the final hours of that pregnancy and then to kill that child beggars belief. I simply can't fathom it. The darkness of the mind of that "mother" is perplexing to me.

Furthermore, the very act of abortion at any stage not only brings death to the baby, but potential death to its carrier, and a very real grief in most women at some stage later in their lives. There is also an increased risk of breast cancer in women who have had abortions..At a late stage like the third trimester terminations, surely it would be better medically if the woman just gave birth and relinquished the baby?

Surely having endured a pregnancy with or without social or financial pressures and having felt the child's movements and steady growth, there would be some interest in the baby's future, and well being? Sufficient to birth it and give it up for adoption? There are so many people longing to have a baby or adopt one, but sadly there are not enough children given the chance of life to meet that need.

I am flummoxed to understand how medical people can inflict such violence on innocents. Human life to them must be so cheap! And as they hold a new family member in their own arms, I wonder if the faces of suffering children they have destroyed come to mind, and if so, does it not move them? I suspect not.

I know I am not alone in feeling sadness, anger and dismay at the destruction of so many babies, and I also know that it strikes at the heart of most people, both saved and unsaved. But I cry for how Father God must grieve for each lost child and for their lost "mothers", for a woman who can destroy her child on a whim is lost until or unless she repents and seeks God's forgiveness.

I truly am in despair for the world right now. It has sunk to an all time low as the fires of Moloch on which innocent children were sacrificed reach an all time high.

Let us all pray for this law to be repealed and for the saving of the innocents. Let us pray for women tempted to utilise these heinous laws that they are given a heart of flesh instead of stone. For make no mistake, this heinous law is a crime against humanity and God. Maranatha!

Thus saith the LORD that made thee, and formed thee from the womb, which will help thee; Isaiah 44: 2

No longer taken for granted

And so another week of being at home is upon us. The future is uncertain and looks a bit grim. However, there are some things surfacing out of this that are good.

Our families that live with us may get on our nerves during the isolation, but with it comes a bond or connection to each other as we brave this outbreak.

Rona has forced the whole world to stop and reassess and has found us guilty. Guilty of believing life would just continue as it was and largely taken for granted.

There is so much negativity brought on by this virus, but one thing is positive from all of this: we will never again take our freedom, our worship, our family or our friends for granted.

"So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom" Psalm 90:12

Only precious to us

Have you wondered why old ladies are always talking about the past, boring you with endless stories of their family? Every birthday, Nana or Grandma recounts the birth of your father or uncle or mother? or even you.

Are you bored with hearing about how hard life was in the Depression of the 30's and how they never had many labour saving devices and appliances like we do now? How about when they had cash in their purse or wallet, and plastic cards were unheard of..

As an older woman nearly 70, I do exactly that, I know I do. Every birthday I find myself telling my adult children about their birth, weight, length, good looks and how much I love them.

I often reminisce about their childhood and our homes and life back in the day. Sometimes they don't even try to hide the fact that I am boring them. Yet to me, talking of these things comes as naturally as breathing air.

It's never a productive day if I find myself culling double ups of my online photos. I spend so much time reliving bygone days and sometimes it actually depresses me. Nostalgia can do that.

Why does it depress you? you ask. It depresses me because a lot of the people in the photos have passed. Some family in pictures- mainly cousins- no longer keep in touch in spite of me reaching out via FaceBook. They simply aren't interested in being a family anymore.

I relive certain times and wish I had or hadn't done something or other, knowing that such thinking is futile because we did the best we could with what we had at the time. It has to be enough to know that.

It hurts me to see pictures of happier days when I babysat grandchildren and those same grandchildren now grown, don't bother to ring me or call in. Yes, yes, I know they have busy lives, but I did too back then and I still found time for them.

It is sad when I am not even invited to theirs or my grandchildren's birthday parties, having been the organiser and host of so many of them for them and their friends at their birthdays. But like an old shoe, I have been cast off to be forgotten.

It doesn't help when one gives their children their baby albums and Infant Welfare Record Books, with locks of hair and tiny wrist band from the hospital- only to find they have been thrown out and not cherished like you did for many many years.

Precious memories are all we really have, us old ladies. The saddest thing of all is discovering that they are only precious to us.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone. Psalm 71.9

Probably for the children.

We lived in a low income housing estate owned by the Housing Department. The Navy bought a lot of these homes to house the Naval families and it was there that I met Jezebel.

She was a young wife, quite pretty and she knew it! Most of her day was spent outside sunbathing or shopping. She had two young children who she treated with indifference. They were often playing with my children when we visited my mother who lived next door to her.

We sometimes had to call on her to bring our children back to Mum's and her house was immaculate. As far as these concrete houses went, hers was well furnished with expensive drapes, couches and lamps- and something unheard of in the day- with wall to wall carpet. She was not one to have a conversation with, unless it was about herself or her children, who she considered pests. Or occasionally she would talk of her absent husband, who we were told was a complete boring pig!

That was an enigma to us as he obviously was supporting her and the children very well. In fact, whenever he was on shore leave, we would find him at the clothesline pegging out loads of washing and sheets. Jezebel didn't believe in working when her husband was home. She was a true feminist.

One day, I called on her to pick up my children and she confided in me that she was pregnant to her pig of a husband! (Her words) She had just come home from the doctor and she told me she had informed him that she would notify him if she decided not to go through with the pregnancy. Not after a discussion with her husband. Maybe he wouldn't even be informed, I thought.

I know she had the child, her third son, because I bought her pram for my coming baby. She was wondering how she was going to offload it, she said. It certainly wouldn't be needed again. The Pig had had a vasectomy!

To this day, I don't know what became of this family as Jezebel's husband was deployed elsewhere, and she went with him. But I do wonder if they are still married and if so, how happy are they. Was The Pig ever valued as a good husband and father, or did he only have Jezebel's scowling and barked orders to look forward to whenever he got home?

Reflecting on this feminist's treatment of a good man, I felt sorry for her husband and children. I can only hope that Jezebel, so nick named for her horrid feminist ways, has found the LORD and that her children have grown up with some self-confidence and feelings of having been loved. For I am sure that as hungry as The Pig was for love and respect, he would have made sure the children would have been loved.

I do pray for them all, and for "The Captain", not "The Pig". I salute you, Sir for staying with your Jezebel. Probably for the children.

Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife see that she reverence her husband. Ephesians 5:22:33

Some things only parents should share

My daughter-in-law and I were talking the other day, and she voiced some concerns she had with what the school was teaching her nine year old son. Specifically, very graphic and explicit sex education.

She showed me the home work that was among her son's school work to be sorted and thrown out. To say that it was explicit was an understatement. Far too much information for a child who was still eight years old to have to take on board.

Now I believe children should be told about the facts of life, but only when it is necessary to explain the next phase of life as in adolescence or to explain Mum's tummy bulge that is a future sibling. But it is done with due respect to age, understanding and discretion.

I considered it my right and privilege to lead my children into adolescence and adulthood. Indeed, I would have felt angered if schools had taken it upon themselves to explain something as important as sex to my child. And my daughter-in-law felt the same.

We also have to remember that most schools are secular and consider most sexual activity and gender choices to be normal. Woe betide the Christian parent who wishes to impart godly principles of morality to their child. Once the lesson is given, it is never forgotten!

This young child and all his fellow classmates were taught that self-pleasure, homosexuality, transgenderism, and gay marriage are quite the norm. These children are forced to grow up before their years and have been robbed of their innocence. They have not been allowed to simply be children.

It is quite one thing to have a discussion of menarche for girls and puberty for boys in grade six, but these teachings of self gratification and descriptions of what a climax feels like to third graders is to my mind repulsive. It reeks of paedophilic tendencies in teachers that promote precociously sexually active babies who should be playing with their marbles and ipads instead of playing literal games of show and tell.

There was no permission granted for such a session or sessions and it was a great shock to come across these assignments when cleaning out the boy's school bag for the new year. Taking the authority from parents is a violation of our rights as parents to train and bring up our children in ways that we personally consider moral and Christian.

It is a good case for homeschooling our children if we can because there are some things only parents should share.

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

Missionaries in our own home.

These days feminism has belittled the role of wife, mother and homemaker so much that most young women see their role as unimportant. Nothing could be further from the truth.

A woman's presence in the home, training and raising her children properly is of utmost importance, both to the husband and the children. Her input in her children's upbringing will have ramifications for eternity.

Children are a blessing from the LORD and so is a home in which to raise them. The nurturing of children, of husband and home come from a faithful woman who sees the importance of her role as a Christian woman.

Because society has for the most part become godless, the things of the LORD such as raising children, having a successful marriage and keeping a holy home are cast aside as things of little import. However, the truly wise wife will take her role seriously and raise her children as unto the LORD.

In this dark world in which we live, we wives and mothers have the perfect opportunity to keep guard over our homes, protecting the minds and peace of both our husband and children. This includes grandmothers when having their grandchildren stay.

It is no surprise that the enemy has propagated feminism as the way forward for womankind. It is destroying family life and making women discontented with their God given calling.

We have a big influence over whether or not our child will accept Christ as their Saviour. Child raising should be our first priority. Your daily work as a wife, mother and homemaker is of great value to the LORD.

Make no mistake: we are missionaries in our own home.

“See then that you walk circumspectly, not as fools but as wise, redeeming the time, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be unwise, but understand what the will of the Lord is.” Ephesians 5:15-17

I'm happy to be an empty-nester

Whilst I do miss the "good ol days" when my children were young, I am so glad that it's over now. I don't think I could cope with it. Having an empty nest does have some advantages: our routine doesn't have to be as inflexible as when we had young ones to look after.

Meals are pretty impromptu affairs. We may plan to have such and such for dinner, but then decide either we aren't hungry or we may eat something like rice bubbles for dinner. Also, the meal hours are according to how we feel. And if I don't feel up to cooking, we will have a frozen dinner. We couldn't do that with young ones.

Bedtime hours are also more flexible as we go to bed when we feel like it. If I can't sleep it's no big deal to get up and make us a cup of tea and go back a few hours later. Waking up late is no problem either, neither are nana naps anymore. I take them as required.

I don't think I would make a good mother these days: Xena often wakes me up to feed her and I feel quite annoyed. I suppose it would be different if it were a child.

There's also a good reason for menopause: I think if I had a baby now I would forget where I had put it. And now with fibromyalgia fog, I know I would!

So even though I miss some aspects of my young mothering days, I am totally content with the flexibility empty nesting has now in my latter years. Besides, I couldn't stand being asleep while the teens get ready to go out. And forget about waiting up all night for them to get home safely.

No, sometimes I am mighty happy to be an empty-nester!

To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven: Ecclesiastes 3:1

An unending story

It is said a mother will raise a child for 18 years or so. What is not told you is that with each child, a mother’s heart is fragmented and not only will she give that child a Life Story at birth, but she will also give it her heart forever. Throughout the rest of her life she will be her child’s biggest influence, inscribing values and skills in its Life’s Book.

Every Page of that child’s life will be scrutinized and lived through. Every word, every full-stop measured in feeding progress, weight gain, colic and diaper changes. Every sentence will be measured in her child holding up its head, smiling, grasping and focusing. Each early Chapter will read as accomplishments in teething, crawling, sitting unsupported, first words and walking.

Shortly, a mother will become an avid Reader of the Book of her child’s life and will pore through it with rapt attention. She will often re-read the previous Chapters, seeking reasons for the present Story unfolding in the most recent Page of her child’s sojourn through life. Quite often this will be a fruitless exercise as she cannot re-write the Chapters. However, she will certainly be able to enhance the outcome of future Chapters by passing on her foresight and life skills to her child.

As the Reader and not the Writer of this Book, the mother will find that she becomes absorbed in every Chapter as it unfolds. Often against her will, she will find that she lives every hurt and disappointment, every heart ache, every pain and illness as if it were her own Life’s Story. And often, being a loving mother, she will wish that the sad Chapter was her own and not her child’s….but she is only the Reader.

Every accomplishment, victory, honour or triumph will become personal as a mother reads and lives her child’s Story. Indeed many mothers will find kudos in their children’s unfolding Life Story, especially if that child is successful. However, successful or not, a mother will still remain a loyal and enthusiastic Reader.

It is not unheard of for a mother to question the Writer of this Book whilst at the same time yearning for the Writer’s direction. But try as she might to become the Writer, this is a Book that she cannot write. She can and should, enquire of the Writer for guidance but in doing so, she must accept that the Editor’s decision is final.

It is interesting to note that just as a mother thinks she may be coming to the end of this Read, that she will find there is a Sequel which is just as compelling as the original. This comes in the form of grandchildren. After one glance at the Prologue, she will find herself giving yet more of her heart as her mind relives the first chapter of her own child’s Life Story.

With shaking hands and teary eyes, she will scan the Page eagerly, knowing that she will be a reader of this new child’s Life Story for many chapters to come. And she will undoubtedly thank the Writer as she lovingly fingers the new Page.

He maketh the barren woman to keep house, [and to be] a joyful mother of children. Praise ye the LORD. Psalm 113:9

Don't be afraid to train your children

The scriptures tell us to train up our child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it. (Proverbs 22:6) But how many of us are afraid or unwilling to train our children? We are afraid that we will lose our children's affections if we restrain them- we are afraid to be mothers!

Some of us don't train our children because we are too lazy- it is always easier to just let them go- it takes too much effort to harness them and direct them in the right direction. Some of us do a half-hearted training of our children- because they bug us, we make them toe the line! I suppose that is better than no training at all.

What are the consequences of us not training our children? At the very most rebellious young adults who have no respect for authority- yours or anyone else's. At the very least, young adults who cannot restrain themselves or their moods and who have no respect for property or other people's feelings. Definitely on both counts, we will have bred unhappy young adults.

A lot of mothers are so afraid of harming their children's psyche that they become the child's servant eventually, doting on them and spoiling them until they are insufferable to bear. Mothers, you cannot be your child's best buddy or friend. You have to train your child well and be a mother who is not afraid to enforce her God-given authority as Mother. Your children will respect you for it- they certainly won't respect you for trying to be their friend.

If we don't train our children well we are asking for rottenness to come into their character. A mother who trains and disciplines her children in a loving way will never lose her children's respect or love. Even from early childhood we intuitively know that Mother is our teacher and protector. We may not verbalise it as children but we all know we need a Mother's input in our formative years. However we train our children we can be assured that the results will reach into eternity.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

'Train up our child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6

Backslidden children: God gently leads them back.

As mothers and grandmothers, we often feel like failures when our children stop following the LORD and are backslidden. In spite of training our children and teaching them about the LORD, they seem to be departing from The Way and it can send us into a panic.

I can understand how you can feel a failure, but your children have to make certain decisions for themselves as they grow up. Walking the path of faith is a deeply personal daily choice. We cannot make them believe nor can we save them.

The five children I bought up (from ages 49-43 plus a grandchild now 29) have been brought up in the faith. My own children made a confession of faith when young and were all baptised by immersion. Two of them are now living for the LORD and two of them are backslidden but still consider themselves believers. My first grandchildren is agnostic, almost a believer.

All we can do in spite of outward appearances is keep praying for God to change them. We as loving mothers or grandmothers don't know what work God is doing in their heart. We know that the Holy Spirit convicts us of sin, and we have to allow Him to do the work. Often trying to be the Holy Spirit just causes rebellion and hurt feelings and we just get in His way.

There was a stage I thought that none of them believed, but praise God, what was taught them from their youth has resurfaced. So I encourage you not to blame yourself either and to keep praying and believing that your prodigals or backsliders will walk in The Way. God often meets them in the wilderness and gently leads them back on the Straight Path..

The soul that sinneth, it shall die. The son shall not bear the iniquity of the father, neither shall the father bear the iniquity of the son: the righteousness of the righteous shall be upon him, and the wickedness of the wicked shall be upon him. Ezekiel 18:20

Letter to a feminist

Dear Sister,

This letter is a difficult one to write, for it is not intended that you should be left with the impression that I write out of spite or hatred to you. Although there is sadness and some anger that so many women have been deceived by feminism, there is also compassion and a degree of understanding.

You see, ever since time began and our sister Eve was deceived by the serpent and ate of the forbidden fruit- a fruit which God Himself had told her and her husband, Adam not to eat, she has handed down to us the desire to rule and control.

Not content that God Himself has decreed that women shall bear children in pain yet crave the affection of our husbands, she and all her fellow feminist sisters have sought to not only control their own God-given role as women but have sought to deceive and usurp men. For Eve knew full well that she was sinning when she beguiled Adam to partake of the fruit too- and he, so infatuated by her womanly ways, willingly partook also and bore his punishment as well. In sweat, he would toil in the earth all his days to eat from the ground which bore thistles, until he died and returned unto the dust from which he was formed.

Sin and death entered into the human equation for the first time. Yet God in His compassion, clothed this couple with animal skins and did not separate them- for it was He Himself Who said that it was not good for the man to be alone. Together, they fled the Garden of Eden wherein was the Tree of Life, lest they should eat of that and live forever. Yet God blessed them. What greater blessing could there be for a couple than to have a child born of their own loins? And so with the birth of Cain, the first baby on earth, began the natural cycle of companionship and intimate marriage producing children who produced children of their own to carry on the genes of their parents and grandparents- yet all destined to return to dust from which we came.

As women, there has been suffering. We know the pains of womanhood, the broken heart of romance, the joy-and pain of marriage and bearing and raising children. Yet in the main, womankind has not only accepted this as her purpose in life but as her God-given right. Indeed, most of us would not wish to tamper with it.

It is a wise woman who accepts the role in creation that God has ordained for her. It is natural for us to fall in love, become engaged, marry and bear and raise children. We thrive on making a happy home and marriage and count it all joy by and large. Our fulfilment comes in being helpmeets to our husbands, mothers to our children, and homemakers. Because we have accepted our role as a partner in God’s creation, we do not see the need to compete with men nor do we try to usurp their authority. We see the value of godly submission and enjoy the boundaries that God has appointed for us in our given tasks as wife and mother.

Our fulfilment does not come from a personal bank account, freedom from male ‘domination’, childlessness by choice and an aversion to all things matrimonial and domestic. We do not see children as an occupational hazard of being a wife but a blessing from the LORD. Nor do we sacrifice our children to abortion on the altar of job promotions, freedom of choice/fertility, ambition, prestige and competitiveness with men. Rather, we welcome our God ordained role as women, for in that we can find true freedom.

Freedom that allows us to be gentle, kind, nurturing and domestic. Freedom that rejoices in cooking, cleaning, birth and the marital bed. We do not see our husbands as beasts who exploit us for their personal pleasure, but we delight in their affection and embrace.

Our freedom comes in the keeping of our homes and in the provision of our husbands. In freedom and lack of fear we bring forth our children and we raise them with the love and authority of their fathers. In freedom, we express our concerns and fears to our husbands and in that same freedom we give opinions and insight. The freedom of godly femininity allows us to be equal and not inferior to our husbands. That freedom liberates us from the need to be aggressive, masculine, dictatorial and harsh women. For our freedom in God allows us to be uniquely suited to our husband. There is no need to strive to compete or usurp the authority of men. For a godly woman is of great value.

I can understand a feminist’s view to a point- she has not seen the blessing of femininity or the beauty and challenge of marriage, motherhood and servant hood. She is to be pitied for she has brought upon herself the misery of usurping the God-given natural order by refusing to be a partner in God’s plan of creation. God can open your eyes, dear Sister and He can release you into His wonderful plan of godly womanhood.

There is freedom in His ways. There is peace and fulfilment. God will not force His Will in your life, but He will give you joy unimaginable if you repent and become the woman He created you to be. He has a wonderful purpose for your life- if you will accept it. The struggle can end with your choice to be a true woman and complete not compete with men. God’s Word is very clear on this- His Word is true and good. Will you not reconsider and come home? You will be so glad you made that choice for there you will find the freedom you so desire.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

From Genesis 2-5