Repentance is good for the soul

There are many things in life that can break us. Illness, loss, grief, depression, divorce to mention just a few. But often it is sin that breaks us the most: and unlike some other things that break us, time does not make it easier. As many as I love, I rebuke and chasten: be zealous therefore, and repent. Revelation 3:19

That is why repentance is so important. We need to repent as soon as the Holy Spirit convicts us of our sin, for if we don't, we give a foothold to the evil one. He takes great delight in making us feel estranged from God and hopeless. For godly sorrow worketh repentance to salvation not to be repented of: but the sorrow of the world worketh death. 2 Corinthians 7:10

Of course, God is not distancing Himself from us- we do that when we are conscious of sinning. So it is imperative that we come to Christ and confess our sin immediately and partake afresh of His Grace. There is nothing like the fragrant aroma of Grace as a balm for our sin when there is true repentance and forgiveness...The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit: a broken and a contrite heart, O God, thou wilt not despise. Psalm 51:15

But after repentance and forgiveness, we often find that there are those who still judge us and who remind us of our sin constantly. They call that which God sees as clean, unclean...Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw [it], he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman [this is] that toucheth him: for she is a sinner. Luke 7:39

But where can one go when judging fingers point out our repented sin? We go back to Jesus. We take His Word that He has forgiven us. we renounce the judgers as being used by the evil one, and we get back on our feet, and continue in the Spirit...Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ 2 Corinthians 10:5

Often the one who has sinned the most will arise forgiven and serve God in a passion and newness bought through the cleansing of the Blood of Christ, and in gratitude for His sacrifice for us...Restore unto me the joy of thy salvation; and uphold me with thy free spirit. Psalm 51:12

I have noticed many times over that people who have been broken and whom God has restored, often serve Him with passion and a zeal that others don't match. The greater the sin, the greater God's Grace..."Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much. But to whom little is forgiven, the same loves little." Luke 7:47

As for those who judge us, we should remind them that the Blood of Jesus has washed our sin away and that they should not ever call unclean what God has called clean...As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

The LORD [is] nigh unto them that are of a broken heart; and saveth such as be of a contrite spirit. Psalms 34:18

I am beyond tired!

 

After a good day yesterday, I ended up flat on my back. Actually that is in bed. My doctor said my BP was too high at 187/87 and he put me on more meds. I planned to do some organising of my wardrobe but it was not to be.

Half an hour after taking my BP medication, I found I couldn't keep my eyes open, so I went to bed. Woke up a couple of hours later just in time to cook dinner. Dinner wasn't very exciting- a steak sandwich.

Tonight I had to take my usual dose of BP tablets and I am just about to go to bed. It's so frustrating! But with chronic illness, it is what it is!

I have to go back to him in two weeks. He is going to discuss giving me Endep for my fibromyalgia pain.

Unable to sit for long, I have culled a lot of FB groups and deleted my Twitter account. I want to reserve whatever spoons I have to look after Chris and our home. I need to spend more time with him and not on the computer.

This dance with chronic illness has it lead all the way. It steps on your toes and cramps your style. It holds you captive. I just want a break from it. I am beyond tired! 

Epstein Barr And Fibromyalgia: The Link

Chris and I have both had glandular fever which lasted for months. He is being checked for fibromyalgia as he has every indication that he has, even though it is mainly a female disease, it can affect men. Here is an article written by a doctor about that link....

Epstein Barr, the virus responsible for glandular fever or mononucleosis, has been linked to the development of fibromyalgia – a chronic, painful condition of the muscles and connective tissue.

Fibromyalgia sufferers are mainly female and report chronic widespread pain and a heightened and painful response to gentle touch. One of the most important criteria to determine whether or not you may have this disease is significant pain in very specific areas of your body, including:

* Inside of your elbows
* Your collar bones
* Inside of your knees
* Your hips

Usually these locations are symmetrical, so you’ll have pain equally present on both sides of your body. Experiencing significant pain when someone presses on those areas, on both sides, is indicative of this condition.

Other symptoms can include fatigue, sleep disturbance, anxiety, bowel and bladder problems, difficulty swallowing and joint stiffness.

Conventional medicine offers no cure for fibromyalgia, although there are treatments like medication, exercise and behavioral interventions that can reduce symptoms.

The natural approach to treating fibromyalgia is to re-balance the immune system which may have been damaged by the effects of the Epstein Barr virus. It is also vital to relieve symptoms through nutritional intervention, graded exercise, stress management and re-establishing good sleep patterns. Let’s have a look at some of these natural treatments for fibromyalgia:

The mineral magnesium is a natural muscle relaxant that is showing promising effects on the pain of this condition. It should be taken as a powder or capsule along with magnesium-rich foods like fish, avocado, raw nuts and seeds, soybeans, green leafy vegetables, brown rice, apples, apricots and grapefruit.

Malic acid is also often low in sufferers and should be supplemented. Malic acid is found naturally in fruits like apple. It often gives unripe fruit a tart or sour taste.

To help relieve the fatigue seen in fibro and Epstein Barr, vitamin C and the B complex are recommended. Anti-inflammatory foods like fish oil, zinc, ginger, turmeric, pineapple and paw paw can also help.

Restoration of normal sleep patterns is an essential part of the recovery process. Herbs like valerian, skull cap, hops and chamomile are excellent. Epsom salt baths which are naturally high in magnesium should also be taken nightly before bedtime. These baths reduce muscle pain and tension and help ensure a good night’s sleep. Gentle exercise during the day – either a walk, swim or stretching exercises can also help you sleep better at night.

Diet wise, I recommend my Epstein Barr, CFS and fibromyalgia patients follow a low carb, high protein diet based around good quality protein foods and plenty of fresh leafy greens and other vegetables. Sugar, grains and the nightshade family of foods like tomatoes, eggplant, chilli, potatoes and capsicum, should be eliminated as they can trigger pain and soreness in the fibromyalgia patient. Remember too to drink plenty of pure water – at least 2-3 litres a day.

I have to add here that I could never drink 2-3 litres of water a day and current medical advice is that we only need about 6 glasses. Too much water intake can cause more problems and we have enough to deal with already.

Here a little.

 

So today I woke with no spoons and I felt like I had been hit by a bus. But I really want to start this journey of reclaiming my house, so I bit the bullet and took my first step.

As the kitchen is always the first area that calls for attention, I decided to start there. I had cleaned up last night and only had a few dishes to take out of the dishwasher.All I had to clean up was the breakfast and morning tea dishes.

Fibromyalgia flares see that I simply can't do mornings, and as you can see, I couldn't raise a gallop until nearly lunchtime. All I had managed to do was pull up our beds, put a load of washing in and run my irobot, Sadie.

So by the time I had done the kitchen, it was time for a nana nap as my angina was playing up and I was finding just breathing enough.

So I had a nana nap which lasted a few hours, and I came out again but I still had no spoons to speak of.

My plan was to wipe down the kitchen benches or counter tops and start preparing dinner, but I had to leave it for the moment. Chris made me a cup of tea, we discussed what we would eat tonight and I sat down to talk to you.

I realise most people would say that I haven't accomplished a lot, but believe me, when you wake with no spoons at all, it is a lot. I know the benches need wiping down, but basically the kitchen's clean and I can start on cooking dinner as soon as I recoup.

I don't allow myself to suffer from "false guilt" anymore and I don't allow myself to be dictated to by my OCD perfectionist healthy woman of the past. She doesn't exist anymore. 

Everything we do is kudos to us Sacrificial Home Keepers. We push ourselves to achieve little by the standards of "normals", but to us, we have run a marathon.

So in a minute after I post this post, I will be cooking sweet and sour pork and rice. And then I will pray for enough spoons to see me sort the kitchen out- I hate getting up to a dirty kitchen and if I can do it before bed, it will be a gift from my previous self to my future self.

Tonight is bin night, so I will help Chris gather the rubbish and put the bins out. Come to think of it, they go out more often than we do these days! But it is what it is! With no spoons for both of us, staying home is a pleasure.

Anyway, I have at least achieved something today- working. pacing. resting. planning. It all adds up with here a little, there a little in the daily life of this Australian Sacrificial Home Keeper.

On this new quest

So I am just coming back to life after our move. My fibromyalgia is still there of course and so is my tiredness. I am trying to live with constant angina, but I have a new drive to get my house organised and decluttered.

All our boxes are unpacked and stuff is in its place, but there's a need to sort through that stuff and cull it.

Added to that is the desire to keep our new home nice. So I have my hands full, but no spoons.

I am trying to take control of my home- or rather, keep it controlled, but it's going to be a spasmodic deal. It all depends on spoons.

Like I did at the previous house, I have enlisted the help of a cleaner once a fortnight. She changes our beds, cleans the bathrooms and toilets and vacuums and mops the floors.

It sounds like that would be enough, but it still needs cleaning between visits. Thank goodness for my irobot Roomba.  It does a great job in between and I run it twice a day. We've called it Sadie!

To be honest, even without those jobs that the cleaner does, it. is. more. than. enough!

I am going to post pictures of my journey to claim back my house. Mainly for my own records, but you can join me here if you like.

I am going to try my best on this new quest.

 

I will not be laughing!

Those of us who have been Christians for some time have probably been the butt of jokes of unsaved family and friends. We are often openly laughed at and made fun of. It can be depressing as well as humiliating.

Recently when I was clearing out my mother's belongings after she passed, a little plaque my mother had with "God Is Love" on it was passed down from her display cabinet. People who were helping wanted to throw it out into the give away to charity pile. Then one of them started laughing and said, "Sure, He is! huh, who wants this?" (laugh laugh)- then she said, "Oh give it to Glenys, she'll take it cos she believes in this sh*t!" Feeling a tad hot faced, I took it and put it in my handbag to take home with me. Their smirks weren't lost on me either! (No fool like an old fool, right?)

Likewise, when cleaning out the bookshelf, they saw the old but well preserved Bible and were going to pitch it out. I hurriedly sprang forward and claimed it, much to their enjoyment. It went alongside my handbag to find its way to my home where it would be put in a place of honour and easily accessed.

Just recently I had an irate family member declare that she won't follow my posts on Face Book because they "are too religious" and she "doesn't think it's right to have it up on Face Book". However, I would prefer to see them than her endless selfies and pictures of her rather prominently displayed bust.  Come to think of it, maybe this was the reason my estranged brother unfriended me from his Face Book yesterday. How he describes Christians is unprintable here....

All in all, I sometimes feel that there is a conspiracy amongst unsaved family and friends in keeping our faith at arms length, and any chance to degrade, hurt, ridicule and humiliate us is taken. We are fair game, people. Yet we cannot change our life style, if we truly believe.

If we believe, we will be Christ-like, and to the unsaved, this is a threat. For Christ-likeness shines His light over their darkness, and they are exposed. This is very disconcerting to the person whose heart is far from being saved. But rather than retreat, we must advance and keep being faithful. Who else knows them like we do? Who else but us bearing Christ in us, would want to see them saved? Who would forgive? Who would pray? And yes, even love them?

It's not easy being a Christian today, especially with unsaved family and friends. We will have an extra cross to bear in humiliation, we will have our faith tested and our resolve to be loving will be sorely tried. And if the one who is unsaved and antagonistic to our faith, is our spouse, a sword will pierce through our heart over and over again.

We dare not take this treatment and derision to heart, for if we do, we may never see our loved ones come to Christ. We may not know that the Holy Spirit is wooing that person and that the barbs and derision are coming to the fore because of a spiritual battle within him or her. It often happens like that. No matter what happens, I must forgive and try to forget the laughter at my expense. 

I cannot change who I am now. I am Christ's, Who was also laughed at as He was whipped and stripped and refused to save Himself by coming off the cross. The die is cast for me, my path is clear. I am moving forward in spite of the jests and guffaws. Let them laugh: we'll have the last one!

But I will be praying for them to be saved for the sad thing is that them going to Hell's not funny and I will not be laughing! 

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And the people stood looking on. But even the rulers with them sneered, saying, “He saved others; let Him save Himself if He is the Christ, the chosen of God.” Luke 23:35

Having patience with yourself

  

Lately, I have realised that one of the reasons for my high blood pressure is probably in the way I stress about not being able to do what I want due to fibromyalgia.

Although I know that I am not to blame for being ill, I sometimes find myself berating myself and feeling cross that I am a lame duck. It really gets to me at times.

Often I succumb to false guilt, the guilt that comes from matters that are not in my control, and it is easy to go to the Pit of Despair. You do not want to go there.

On rare occasions, I burst into tears and it is then that Chris usually comes to my rescue, pointing out that it's not my fault, that whatever needs to be done can wait or he promises that he will do it...

It made me think that sometimes I am my own worst enemy. By self-condemnation, I am making a sad situation worse for myself.

When I realised that it was my thinking that makes me get so down sometimes, I smiled at the irony: usually I am trying to validate my tiredness and pain to "normals"- those who do not live with chronic pain and no spoons. Now the "normals" are validating me.

So today, after cleaning my kitchen and making lunch, I am going to "the beach" again. I am going to relax and only get up again when it is time to cook tea.

I am going to start to speak to myself as I would speak to someone else who was ill and blaming themselves: lovingly and kindly. Which just doesn't come naturally to me. I have patience with everyone except myself.

The origin of the wedding ring

When we married, Chris and I chose to each wear a wedding ring. Mine is a small rounded band yellow gold ring whilst Chris's is half rounded and wide in yellow gold. We do love wearing them and would feel lost without them.

When we were both single after long-term marriages, being remarried was on both our hearts. When finally we met, we discovered that we both had looked at people's wedding fingers, searching for rings, wondering if the person was attached. And we both recall feeling a sense of envy and longing when we saw a wedding ring worn on that special finger.

To be honest, I think most married people can attest to the pride that they felt as they showed their rings to their guests at their wedding reception, and most can still feel a sense of pride and contentment in wearing theirs. Although wedding rings are not mentioned in Scripture and therefore do not constitute a marriage per se, they are indicative of the covenant and a pledge of love between our husbands and ourselves that should speak to us each time we reflect on why we wear them.

I decided to do a little research on wedding rings to find out just why they are important to our culture and  their origin, here is what I have found:

Wedding rings originated in Ancient Egypt more than 4,800years ago. They were originally created with hemp, rushes or braided grass and worn only by women.

The circular shape of the Wedding Ring symbolises the never-ending love between husband and wife. It is worn on the third finger of the left hand. This tradition began as the vein in this finger is believed to be the ‘vena amoris’ or ‘vein of love’ which leads directly to the heart.

After the Egyptians, the Romans continued the Wedding Ring tradition introducing a more permanent metal – Iron. During the middle ages in Europe, Gold became the most popular choice for Wedding Rings. During this time, precious gems, such as Rubies, Sapphires and Diamonds, also started to be used in the creation of Wedding Rings.

A token of love, a symbol of forever. Whether a plain metal band or an exquisite work of craftsmanship, the wedding ring has played a central role in marriage ceremonies throughout history.

Ancient Times

According to Penny Proddow and Marion Fasel, co-authors of "With This Ring," the exact origins of the wedding ring are unknown. However, it was tradition in ancient Rome for brides to wear a simple iron band. In the third century, "key engagement rings" were given to a betrothed woman to celebrate entering her husband's home.

1400s

During the 15th century, precious gems set inside gold rings became fashionable. Each stone had a special meaning and was usually cut into a pyramid.

1500s

Jewish wedding rings in Italy and Germany became elaborate with miniature temples designed on a band adorned with messages and stories.

1600s

By the 17th century, gimmel rings with hidden messages and secret openings were created for couples. The ring was split apart at engagement for both the man and woman to wear. During the wedding, the whole ring was slid back on the bride's finger to symbolize unity.

1700s and 1800s

The claddagh design -- two hands holding a heart with a crown -- originated in Italy and eventually became tradition among Irish brides. The first mention of the wedding ring as an option in a marriage ceremony, occurs in the 1872 manual of the Methodist Church, known as Discipline: "If the parties desire it, the man shall here hand a ring to the minister, who shall return it to him and direct him to place it on the third finger of the woman’s left hand. And the man shall say to the woman, repeating after the minister, ‘With this ring I thee wed, and with my worldly goods I thee endow, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost.’"

In early Judaism to present

In a traditional Jewish wedding ceremony, Jewish wedding rings play a very important role. In Jewish law, a verbal declaration is not enough to be married.  According to Jewish law, a formal, physical consecration must be made. Usually this is done with the giving of a Jewish wedding ring, however in ancient times, it was merely something of value–with the minimum value of what is now a penny.  The ring must be of solid uninterrupted gold with no holes breaking the circle. The continuity of the rings represents the hope for an everlasting marriage.

In most ceremonies, the bridegroom repeats a Hebrew vow after the Rabbi, with the giving of the ring. The bridegroom would declare, “Behold, thou art consecrated to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel.”

1900s to Present

Margaret Brinig, a researcher at George Mason University, traces the demand for diamonds used in wedding rings for the wealthy back to 1840, but it wasn't until after the Great Depression that they became a popular American tradition.

Men didn’t start wearing Wedding Bands until much later – around the time of the Second World War. Being separated from their wives for long periods of time, Soldiers wore Wedding Bands as a symbolic reminder of their loved one back home.

In this picture at the top of the post, Sarah also wears a gold wedding band, typical of early Hebrew wedding rings. The wedding band is known to have been used in ancient Egypt and was worn on the fourth finger of the left hand, just as it is today.  painting:  Is anything too hard for the LORD? by Elspeth Young

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

In Hebrew, this phrase is Hare at mekudeshet li betaba’ at zo k’dat Moshe v’ Yisrael.  the Talmud  “Behold, thou art consecrated to me with this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel.”

It's a pain!

 

So the day has started off without any appreciable spoons. However, I have purposed to do some chores in the house regardless. Simply because they have to be done.

With the last two days slack on housework, there are dishes and washing and some other chores that are shouting to be done.

My sugars are still 10.4 this morning in spite of taking the new diabetes medications for a week. So I accept that I am never going to feel really well. Fibromyalgia and angina coupled with back pain also seem to do that. 

So I am going to just concentrate today on the most crucial homemaking tasks: having clean dishes and cups and some clean clothes and towels.. No lists today, this is all I can manage.

So today's list of to do's are:

1. Soak and wash dishes and put away after air drying
2. Catch up on the washing and put it away after the dryer has finished
3. Cook some lamb stew in the slow cooker for dinner

Granted it's not much to do, but my body feels like it's trying to climb Mt Everest. But enough procrastination: I must push on. No fairy godmother is coming- I'm it!  

It's mundane. It's frustrating. It's tiring! But it is what it is!  It's chronic illness! And it's a pain!

Let God do His part.

So for one reason or another, you find yourself married to an unbeliever,  and the loneliness can be like a damp cloak around your shoulders.

You long to share your faith with him, but he sometimes rebels and gets annoyed or angry, and this compounds the feeling of spiritual disconnection. 

I have lived with an unbeliever after coming to the LORD after marriage. I know the longings for spiritual connection and the loneliness felt in an unequally yoked marriage. 

Divorce is not an option, so what is the Christian wife to do until or even if, her husband comes to Christ?

I would like to encourage unequally yoked wives to keep believing and keep praying and to treat their as yet unsaved husbands with the same deference they would if he was saved. In that regard, the LORD sees no difference in his treatment.

He is still responsible under God... even if of course, he doesn't believe in Him. He needs your prayers, not your lectures, sermons, tantrums or tears. In fact, if we do those things, we may very well alienate him from coming to the LORD totally.

It is hard work and a difficult path when one is unequally yoked, and it is normal that the saved wife will long for her husband to be saved. But the hardest thing of all is to not take on the role of the Holy Spirit and try to convict and woo your husband to Christ.  That is His job, not ours.

After many years of seeming fruitless prayers, you may be tempted to become short and irritated with your husband. But loving them to Him is critical to them coming to Jesus.  Just love him as if he is already a Christian. That's your part in winning him to Christ. Let God do His part. 

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks

For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save [thy] husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save [thy] wife?  1 Corinthians 7:16

Cats have never been very considerate

This morning I hit the floor running. Xena woke me with imminent chucks and I shooed her off my bed, but not before she soiled both my minkie blankets. 

She also soiled the carpet in my bedroom. I have the blankets in the wash as we speak. The carpets have been cleaned and sprayed with Glen 20. 

I love her dearly, but often tell myself there will be no more cats when she passes. She's 12 now. We will have to wait and see on that one!  

So far since that, I have folded and put away 3 loads of clean washing, made lunch and cleaned my kitchen.

Tonight I am doing frozen dinners as we had a big lunch. Apart from that, I will be resting as my fibromyalgia is still flaring.

Now Xena is peacefully sleeping in her igloo. It would have been so much more Mummy friendly to have sicked up in that. A simple matter of washing out a little mattress. Still, cats have never been very considerate have they?

When the fog clears, tea's on the list.

 

Recently I have been having trouble remembering things. At nearly 70, I worry about dementia and think that maybe I am going down that path.

But in talking with people who suffer from fibromyalgia like I do, I realise that fibro brain fog can make one forgetful. Especially during flares.

Having just moved house about 6 weeks ago, I am just starting to recover physically. I have a flare that is pretty constant with no spoons and I do forget things. And words mid sentence.

I don't think me forgetting to order tea in the online grocery order really means I  have dementia. I guess fibromyalgia flares can do that.

Looking through Marketplace the other day, someone was selling a bassinette identical to the one I had for my 4 children. It brought back memories like they were only yesterday.

But that didn't make me feel very at ease about my forgetfulness because dementia robs one of short term memory. But then so does fibromyalgia.

Considering all my previous times of brain fog during a flare, and my subsequent good memory, I surmised that it was not dementia, but brain fog from said flare. 

I believe when the flare abates, and the fog clears,  I will remember the tea in next week's shopping list.