Morning Cuppas With Glenys

When we pray: pray!

I like to pray for people and a lot of them I don't know, so I don't have details usually. Sometimes people I do know have so much going on that often it is easier to *not* know the details and just lift them up to the LORD! It is comforting to know that He knows all details. Knowing too much can be both a burden and a means to start a gossip session.

We all know people who use prayer as a means to gossip about someone. It is so good to be able to interrupt them and gently say, "Well, the LORD knows all about it: let's pray!"

And when we pray, let's talk to God, not man. The best prayers are heartfelt, humble prayers. Faith filled prayers. Not eloquent necessarily, but sincere. Let's not be worried about how well we pray, but how well we connect to God.

Prayer is not a competition of eloquence and superiority, nor is it a licence to gossip in pretence of praying. We are touching the Heart of God. When we pray: pray!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

But thou, when thou prayest, enter into thy closet, and when thou hast shut thy door, pray to thy Father which is in secret; and thy Father which seeth in secret shall reward thee openly. Matthew 6:6

Reaching for the stars

I often see young women today who have bought the feminists' lies that they can have it all... the job, the marriage, the well kept home, the nice cars and furniture not to mention nice clothes... and still juggle motherhood successfully, often taking just enough time off work to give birth and then sometimes only weeks after, to return leaving a new baby and usually others in childcare. Just writing it all down makes my head spin!Perhaps it all seems possible with a sympathetic spouse who helps with household chores, and a strong network of family or childcare workers for the children. But one wonders, for how long?

I fell victim to working outside the home when my children were young. Having obeyed my then husband and gone to work leaving young ones either with him or my mother, I can testify to the inability to totally give ones' constant attention to detail at work when one has a sick child at home or when just plain missing them.I can testify to the almost boiling point of emotions at small problems at home that would once be taken in their stride... fatigue makes pressure cookers of us all.

Not only that, but I can attest to emotions that one would rather not admit to: having to not only cook a meal but clean the kitchen, sneak in another load of washing after the kids have been bathed and made ready for bed whilst Husband falls asleep on the couch... obviously worn-out from his own day of labour outside the home. And there is *still* so much she has to do!

The powder keg ignites when Husband, feeling refreshed from his 40 winks, decides at 11:30 when her head finally hits the pillow, that the Games must begin! And as a tired body tries to overcome fatigue and desires only sleep, a not so romantic emotion creeps in: resentment! And then we have marriage problems which could have been avoided. Over the last few years, I have observed this at close quarters.

Several mothers of young children in our family have thought they could have it all. Some have found out that they can't. And some are still striving, unable to relinquish the dream that feminists have implanted in their minds: that they *can* have it all.... without any side-effects! And there *are* side-effects!

One mother went back to work six weeks after giving birth. She chose to work night-shift so that Husband could mind Baby at night and she could do so during the day. Not only did she end up with a king-size case of post-natal depression, but she also developed panic-attacks which were so debilitating that she (unwisely) turned to alcohol to stop them. Fortunately, her husband realised that the stress of achieving the Have-it-all Dream was killing his wife, and he told her to quit working. Fortunately, she was able to get medication for the anxiety and was able to curtail her intake of alcohol. But it nearly cost her her health, her marriage, her children and her home!

Another mother who is still striving suffers from migraines, tiredness that prevents her from falling asleep at night, but which sees her lie in an exhausted sleep in the morning- only to have to rise and start the day when all her body needs is rest! She is particularly grumpy and strident, but mention overwork or quitting and the heckles rise... you are standing on very shaky ground when you try to debunk the Feminist Claptrap Dream!

Still another mother in our family is striving not only in work, but in her personal life and her childrens' lives. She totally believes she not only *can* have it all... but believes that it is her *right*. But she is paying a high price too. Perfect wife, mother, housekeeper, worker, social butterfly and off campus student, she looks the embodiment of the fakeness of The Lie. However, unable to swallow because of a feeling of a lump in the throat, she was diagnosed with a case of globulus hystericus... nerves. My gentle suggestion to delegate jobs in the family, and forgo a few extra classes for the children was like a red rag to a bull.... warning... warning... danger! The Dream must be kept alive, even if the mothers aren't.

It is such a sad state of affairs... and there seems no end to it all... For every woman who falls by the wayside in the attainment of All, there are a hundred following in hot pursuit, stepping over her as they stampede forward to the Goal, which is never *enough* when you think about it.Sadly, I realise that they *can* have it All.... but along with it comes divorce, depression, anxiety, split families and all that negativity does to your health....

The feminists have given our young mothers dust for dreams! God planned for us to have an abundant and relatively peaceful life as wives and mothers, but typically, the Evil One has used his messengers to pervert that which was originally perfect.We aren't supposed to have it all.... just those things that are priceless: our health, our marriage, our children, our home and our peace! We can rest content without reaching for the stars!

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. Luke 12:34

Do you know who does?

It is said that the hand that rocks the cradle rules the world and I am a great believer in that. After all, most of a mother's values are instilled in her child as she raises him or her.

Medical science tells us that the first seven years of a child's life shape their values, attitudes and habits. So much so that Hitler was quoted as saying, "give me a child until he is seven and he is mine!" The Catholic Church also believed in teaching children in the first seven years and one recalls the old saying, "Once a Catholic, always a Catholic!" The mould has been cast...

During the first years of a child's life, great care should be taken to instil right attitudes and beliefs and the training of that child does indeed shape that person's life. Proverbs tells us that we train up a child in the way he should go and afterwards he will not turn from it...we have to raise them for Christ.

A stable home and marriage and a loving mother who invests her life and efforts into training as well as loving her child is serving the LORD as much as any missionary or preacher. Because of her mothering, there is every chance that her child will accept the LORD at an early age and go on to serve and love Him.

But in today's society many mothers relinquish that role to paid carers and daycare centres. We can only guess what is being instilled by them as they firstly do not love the child and secondly for the most part are secular run institutions.

The hand that rocks your child's cradle does rule the world. Are you rocking the cradle and if not, do you know who does?

Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it. Proverbs 22:6

In the round file

As you know, yesterday I turned 66 and as one often does on a birthday, it reminded me of a former birthday when I was working outside the home...

Still engaged to Chris, I was needing to work to save for our wedding and for a deposit on our home. I had previously worked in office administration, school offices and employment agencies. I ended up in a Human Resources office in customer service for those looking for employment. It was a plum job in our capital city, Melbourne.

The day my eyes were opened to the fact that employment agencies don't care if you find a job or not was in fact my 45th birthday and it was my job description to short list the many resumes that came to our office. Those who were deemed appropriate for a certain position were put in the short list for an interview with one of our human resources personnel and others were placed in the "round file" aka the bin for later shredding.

I had prepared a short list of highly skilled and suitable applicants for jobs and I truly believed they would have been worthy of an interview. To my shock, they were dumped back on my desk and I was given strict instructions to cull them further from now on and put any applicants who were 45 years old or over in the round file. I was so angry!

Protesting, I said that many were people with school aged children just trying to put bread and butter on the table and pay off a mortgage or rent. Further, I stated that they were in the middle of their child raising years and needed a job. I also pointed out that "today" was my own 45th birthday, and here I was, chucking them into the round file!

Their only response was "do as you are told" and later on, as was the custom on a birthday, I brought in a cake to share with them at lunch, their response was to boycott both myself and my cake.

Finally, I was made to take note of the poor applicants who were put in the round file for shredding and tell them that unfortunately they were unsuccessful at this time. In response to their questions and protests, I had a script I read from... "I am sorry, but there were so many applicants for this position and unfortunately you weren't as highly qualified as them... yada yada" they couldn't even be honest to their clients.

I was saddened and angry with these girls who really had tickets on themselves and who, in spite of doing professional courses and having degrees in Human Resources, had no people skills or compassion. It really was the pits to be forced to lie to these applicants just trying to make ends meet and provide for their family. With Chris's permission, I quit working there and went on to work in office administration until we were married.

Why do I tell you this? you ask. Because I don't want you visiting the Pit of Despair and thinking you are of little value to the workforce. It isn't you. It's them. And the only choice you have is to know that not all Employment Agencies are like them and you have to keep trying.

Keep your head up, and your confidence intact. And pray for an agency that values the older worker. It was something I did for every application I had to place in the round file and for everyone I had to contact as unsuccessful. Prayer changes things, so remember that with God, we are never placed in the round file and lied to.

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Aging doesn't bother me!

Today is my 66th birthday and I am not phased at getting older. I do not get depressed about aging, but I do sense a certain urgency to live better and to make sure that I do not waste something that is irreplaceable and of great value - time!

It's sometimes tradition on birthdays to evaluate your life.... What have I achieved in nearly seven decades of living? What do I want to achieve? Where is my life heading? What things are key in my life in regards to importance and eternity? What changes can I make to live better and cherish that which I do hold dear? Quite a lot to think on really.

As I sit and reflect, I know that I have to make some changes in my life as regards growing closer to the LORD, and memorising scripture better. I have to seriously build myself up physically as well whilst trimming a lot of excess avoir du pois off my truly small frame.

I realise that I can only make changes by repenting of a lot of negative thinking and attitudes that have gathered like moss on a stone. And by clinging to the LORD, for I know that without Him as the foundation, I can achieve nothing of eternal value.

One thing to reflect on is one that makes me content. I am basically living a good Christian life. I found that out when I was misdiagnosed with a terminal dementia like disease 11 years ago. You have got to believe me when I say that a person who believes they are dying questions what is important in their life and tries to make amends where it is lacking! I didn't have to change anything! I believe our sanctification is ongoing...I am far from perfect and there are some weeds in my garden that need to be pulled. I have far to go in some things..

Yes, today is a day for reflection as well as thanks for the great gift of life! And I can rejoice, because aging doesn't bother me! Not having enough breath to blow out all my candles? Yes, I think that bothers me more! ~smile

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12

Blessed beyond measure!

Time goes by so fast: I have just held my first newborn great-grandchild Evie, and she took me back to when I first held her mother Sarah, my first grandchild. She looked so like her that it took my breath away in a sigh of delight, sadness, nostalgia and love.

I was there beside my Sarah's mother when she gave birth to her. Indeed, she owes her life to me being interested in midwifery, for I was her mother's advocate when she started bleeding at ten weeks. In the hospital, the doctors concluded that Sarah was miscarried without even doing an ultrasound. They planned a D & C for the next morning.

Asking if there was much dilatation, they said no so I asked if they had done an ultrasound. They replied there was no need as they were sure there was no baby there. I asked them to do one before the scheduled surgery just to be sure. And sure enough, there was a healthy ten week old fetus!

To this day, we believe my first grandchild was a twin which was miscarried, as I am a twin, I had still-born twins and twins were in both sides of the family. But sad as potentially losing a twin was, we rejoice that we have Sarah and that I demanded they check with an ultrasound. They were so cavalier about it and would have technically aborted her.

A few months later I had the joy of acting as doula to her mother and my granddaughter's little features were etched permanently in my mind. Sarah was after all, a female carbon copy of my own first child, her father.

Seeing little Evie's face for the first time was a total spin out! A mixture of delight, sadness, nostalgia and love, as I said. Delight too that I was at last a great-grandmother after two years of infertility for Sarah, sadness that the time has gone so quickly, and love for this baby who shared a comic resemblance to those other sweet babies of my past.

As I lifted Evie up onto my shoulder, I whispered a prayer of thanks to God and of welcome to our family, in her ear, just as I had done for my own babies and theirs. God is so wonderful! I am blessed beyond measure!

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

Not just a bump on a log

When I was a young mother of four children under five, I was struck down with glandular fever that lasted for a full six months.

As you can imagine, with an illness lasting that long, I was often alone to manage as my then husband had to work and my mother lived far away. It was a long and difficult time that made me feel like I was just a bump on a log.

This wasn't true in fact because out of necessity, I found ways to run my household and look after my children unassisted and mostly from my bed. But not being able to get up for more than thirty minutes at a time without collapsing from fatigue made me feel useless.

In the morning no matter how exhausted I felt, I rose and got my oldest child off to school with my neighbour picking him up and dropping him off. I bathed my youngest babies and dressed and fed them then put a load of washing on. I took something out of the freezer for dinner. Then I staggered back to bed, a perspiring mess!

My four year old daughter lifted her siblings up onto the bed where I read stories to them, often falling to sleep with the book over my face and finding the children in the lounge room watching cartoons.

Sometime later, I arose again to change nappies and give them a snack or a bottle. I would put that finished load of washing into the dryer and set it going to dry. I would organise some play activities and would lie on the couch watching my little ones building a house with lego blocks. Then I would fall asleep again, drenched in sweat.

I was told to rest in order to kick the glandular fever, but as any chronically ill mother will tell you, that usually means that she does her home duties in her dressing gown or house coat. Her version of rest.

My husband would cook tea, following my instructions on what to cook and sometimes even how to cook it. If I felt well enough, I would bath our school age child to save his father the chore and then I would take a quick shower. It left me even more exhausted, but with glandular fever, one is bathed in sweat all the time and it is necessary to shower daily even when tired.

Finally the fever left me, but over the years I was troubled with Sheurmann's disease, a disease which ate the discs in my back and would have caused severe scoliosis, if not for enforced bed rest after a two week ordeal in hospital in traction, many times over the years.

I learned to plan my grocery shop, organise payment of my bills, delegate household chores, help with homework, listen to school readers, and be there for my growing children all from my bed. It was easy to think of myself as useless like a bump on a log, but in actual fact, I was anything but.

Chronic illness can take away many things from us, but don't let it take away your confidence in being mistress of your home. You will find that running your household from your bed is in fact possible, and proves that we are no bumps on logs.

Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2

I just want some breakfast!

I was minding my three young grandchildren this morning. It was a very early start at 4am with all three children waking up at 5am as soon as their parents left for the airport. I decided to feed them early in hopes that they would go back to bed....As the children told me what they wanted to have for breakfast, I listened to the chatter...

"Jess, you can't have Weeties, too many carbs!" "No, Liam! I am allowed bacon and eggs: Mum said I can have that cos it's got no carbs, and I'm on a fat and no carb diet!" I had to referee a fight over Jess not taking sugar in her tea whilst Liam piled his on his cereal....he is not on a diet! In fact, he could gain a pound or 2, whereas Jess takes after her Nana...ahem! Yes, life could be so unfair! Sighing, I glanced at the clock: 5:45 am and the day was still young!

Getting a bottle for Thomas, I smiled to myself: he is too young to care what goes into his bottle and he accepted it with his characteristic grin and good nature (except for this morning at 5am's outburst of horror as he realised that Mum had gone. But I digress)...Catching the morning's Nutritional Goodness theme, I mentally made a note of calcium benefits for him.

It was then time for me to have breakfast and I found myself staring blankly into the pantry, trying to keep awake. As my hand reached out for the Sugar Frosties, Liam piped up with, "Hey, Nan, they're full of sugar: are you allowed to have sugar? Sugar's not good for you: Mum said I can't have too much cos it makes me hyper!" I thought guiltily about my diabetes and I put it back!

Knowing that the smell of toast would be too much of a temptation for young Jessica to resist, I decided that I would forgo that this morning and instead I grabbed a tin of tuna as a high protein choice. But my little shadow informed me that his Mum had bought just enough tins for Dad's high protein/no carbs diet next week. Guilty again, I put it back in its place in line with the others.

My stomach was growling by now and I was getting desperate for something to fill it. Better be something healthy today I thought with an inwards chuckle. Not wanting to be warned off anything else, I made myself a cup of tea without sugar and grabbed a piece of rye bread sans butter and slowly chewed on it...

The kids returned to bed and I crept back out into the kitchen: I don't care what my diet conscious grandchildren think: I just want some breakfast! I grabbed the sugar loaded cereal and put some sugar in my tea. What they don't know won't hurt them, but please don't tell their parents!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"A merry heart maketh a cheerful countenance: but by sorrow of the heart the spirit is broken" Proverbs 15:13

Cleanliness is next to godliness...

I have a vivid imagination and I love looking at artwork. Sometimes the works just speak to my soul, as is the case with the above artwork.The beauty of the table at the Marriage Supper Of The Lamb spoke to me. The beautiful china, glasses and cutlery, the immaculate table cloth, the perfectly set table thrilled my soul and tantalised my imagination....

As I gazed at the picture, I wondered how we would have reacted if the table hadn't been set properly- you know, like we sometimes do at home? Would a spotted and wrinkled table cloth have the power to draw us into thoughts of heaven and our marriage supper with Christ? How about spots on the glasses and coffee stains in the cups? Honestly, I think it would be a turn off!

I think a less than perfect table and setting would be dishonouring to God.... for like it or not, housekeeping does reflect on the home keeper, for better or worse.There is an old proverb that says that cleanliness is next to godliness...and I think to a certain extent that that is true....

We should endeavour to have our homes clean and comfortable for they not only reflect on ourselves, but also they point to our heart and faith....

A bit extreme! you say? I don't think so. If we are honest with ourselves, don't we silently think less of a woman who lives in filth or dirt? And when that woman is a Christian, don't we wonder about her relationship with Christ if she cannot fulfil her obligations as a homemaker?

I know this to be true, because just such a woman once hosted a Bible Class morning with her home almost making us retch as we sat amongst her doggy smelling carpet and armchairs full of dog fur. Not to mention the kitty litter tray wafting its reek from the nearby laundry.

Offering to help her was not an option as this woman had been helped repeatedly by Sisters in her cell or home group, but never kept up the good work that the Sisters did. She was too busy reading books- Christian books at that.

I believe that this showed a lack of discipline and also a rebellion in doing something she did not want to do: in this case, her housework. My poor Sisters were left feeling slightly used and annoyed. They had cleaned the house a week ago and it should still have been reasonably clean.....

Cleanliness is something we all take for granted....and it is something that isn't noticed until we neglect it. But because cleanliness is symptomatic of our heart attitude and efforts, it also reflects on our walk with the LORD.

Cleanliness is next to godliness as the (non biblical) proverb goes, and reflects on our witness and relationship with God. Let's try to keep our homes and ourselves clean enough to not bring shame on us and dishonour to God!

"Depart ye, depart ye, go ye out from thence, touch no unclean [thing]; go ye out of the midst of her; be ye clean, that bear the vessels of the LORD". Isaiah 52:11

The fairy godmother's gotten old!

Wouldn’t it be nice to have a fairy godmother who waved her magic wand and transformed our homes into pristine havens that required no upkeep from us? Then we could do that which we really loved to do without feeling at all guilty.

Some of us tend to live our lives sipping coffee amidst dirty laundry and dust and mess, as if we are expecting her arrival anytime- ready to bail us out of our mess at the flick of a wrist. The family is unhappy with us and we are overwhelmed with chores that have banked up. And there is more bad news- the fairy godmother’s not coming! Well, she might if we are able to afford a maid, but for the majority of us, a maid is a luxury we can’t afford. We are IT!

Over the years, I have found that I have procrastinated about housework so much that I have spent more time planning how to simplify it, organise it and pardon the pun- sanitise it, than if I had just rolled up my sleeves and got on with it. It would have been done sooner and I would have been able to enjoy my leisure time more than I did with my parrot on the shoulder telling me that the work still hadn’t been done! Wisdom through life experience and hindsight has taught me to do that which I don’t enjoy first then relax. It is almost impossible to relax when you have chores that are calling out your name!

God has called us to be domestic- to be the keepers of our home. Whilst it is important that we don’t eat the bread of idleness, I don’t think that He intends us to have no other pursuits in life other than housework. There has to be a balance. The woman who alphabetises her spices and has cupboards that are washed out every week is as unbalanced as the woman who can’t find a clean shirt for her husband or a clean cup to drink from.

I believe the Christian woman has to ensure that her home is clean, her family’s clothes are washed and ironed and that meals are on time and nutritious. She doesn’t have to fret that her home is not like Home Beautiful- but her home should be welcoming to her friends and nurturing to her family. That’s what Home is all about.

If the home is reasonably clean and her husband is contented and her children happy, then I feel that is all that is required of her. It takes effort, discipline and diligence to see that these things are attended to, and it is the wife’s task, for she is Keeper of The Home.

The Christian wife sets the temper of the home and it is her godly responsibility to be domestic. It is her calling and hers alone- she must look after her home with or without help and sick or not, for unfortunately, the fairy godmother’s gotten old and she's not coming!

“He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much: and he that is unjust in the least is unjust also in much.” Luke 16:10

An unending story

It is said a mother will raise a child for 18 years or so. What is not told you is that with each child, a mother’s heart is fragmented and not only will she give that child a Life Story at birth, but she will also give it her heart forever. Throughout the rest of her life she will be her child’s biggest influence, inscribing values and skills in its Life’s Book.

Every Page of that child’s life will be scrutinised and lived through. Every word, every full-stop measured in feeding progress, weight gain, colic and diaper changes. Every sentence will be measured in her child holding up its head, smiling, grasping and focusing. Each early Chapter will read as accomplishments in teething, crawling, sitting unsupported, first words and walking.

Shortly, a mother will become an avid Reader of the Book of her child’s life and will pore through it with rapt attention. She will often re-read the previous Chapters, seeking reasons for the present Story unfolding in the most recent Page of her child’s sojourn through life. Quite often this will be a fruitless exercise as she cannot re-write the Chapters. However, she will certainly be able to enhance the outcome of future Chapters by passing on her foresight and life skills to her child.

As the Reader and not the Writer of this Book, the mother will find that she becomes absorbed in every Chapter as it unfolds. Often against her will, she will find that she lives every hurt and disappointment, every heart ache, every pain and illness as if it were her own Life’s Story. And often, being a loving mother, she will wish that the sad Chapter was her own and not her child’s….but she is only the Reader.

Every accomplishment, victory, honor or triumph will become personal as a mother reads and lives her child’s Story. Indeed many mothers will find kudos in their children’s unfolding Life Story, especially if that child is successful. However, successful or not, a mother will still remain a loyal and enthusiastic Reader.

It is not unheard of for a mother to question the Writer of this Book whilst at the same time yearning for the Writer’s direction. But try as she might to become the Writer, this is a Book that she cannot write. She can and should, enquire of the Writer for guidance but in doing so, she must accept that the Editor’s decision is final.

It is interesting to note that just as a mother thinks she may be coming to the end of this Read, that she will find there is a Sequel which is just as compelling as the original. This comes in the form of grandchildren. After one glance at the Prologue, she will find herself giving yet more of her heart as her mind relives the first chapter of her own child’s Life Story.

With shaking hands and teary eyes, she will scan the Page eagerly, knowing that she will be a reader of this new child’s Life Story for many chapters to come. And she will undoubtedly thank the Writer as she lovingly fingers the new Page.

Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers. Proverbs 17:6

He's no hero!

As you probably know, I have been seeing a rheumatologist to see if I have SLE lupus as well as fibromyalgia. It has been a long voyage. I am due to see her again July 16 for the results of all the blood works.

Today I saw my GP who I was told had the results. It was a disappointing visit and a waste of time. The only thing he would tell me was that I have severe arthritis in my hands, which was a given seeing as they are bent and deformed.

He would not commit to deciphering any of the tests, claiming that he was just a general practitioner and not a rheumatologist. So I am none the wiser. After reminding him of my various symptoms, he told me that even if I prove to have lupus that it won't change the fact that there is nothing he can do for me. It was very depressing.

Further, my husband Chris has had tests for shoulder pain that radiates into his ribs and back. He asked if an ultrasound might help throw some light onto what's causing his discomfort, but he laughed and said he didn't think so! So Chris also felt neglected.

I am on five tablets per day to lower my blood pressure, which he knows, but I had to ask him to take my blood pressure and he sighed as he did it. When asked about coping with the pain of my arthritis, he recommended a "conservative approach": no prednisolone or opioids, just paracetamol! Seriously?

This man came highly recommended as Chris and I have serious health issues that require good care and monitoring. Today has proven to us that he is not the super hero he is touted to be.

Fortunately Chris and I are each other's hero and advocate and it is just as well. Looks like we will be looking after each other's interests long into our dotage.

And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him; and a threefold cord is not quickly broken. Ecclesiastes 4:12