Peaceful home making

Can you imagine living in a world where it is still acceptable to stay home with your children, serve your husband, and dare I say it - keep your home? Where marriage, home and motherhood are held in high esteem and the women caring for their families are blessed by and for their efforts? Picture the scene of past era wherein young woman usually left the workforce after marriage to serve her husband and keep her home and await the arrival of her children. She was not looked down on at all, rather the role of wife/mother/homemaker was elevated into something to aspire to. For it is an honourable calling.

We all know that the disdain we stay at home wives and mothers feel today from the world (and even some churches) is contrary to the scriptural role, and we know that it wasn't always so. And as more and more women are pressured into having less children and putting their babies into day centres, a lot of women are feeling cheated and discontented. If the truth was told, I truly believe that most of the women in the workforce today would prefer to be at home having more babies and loving their life! Why isn't it like this today? 

Firstly, I believe a lot of women have bought the lie of feminism. We have been buffeted about and overloaded with so much of their rhetoric that we have slowly come to accept a great deal of what they say. Bowing under the pressure of the world, we have become discontented with our God-given role as wife/mother and keeper of our home.

Secondly, I believe women have generally been so highly educated that they are afraid that they will waste it by staying home. I think nothing could be further from the truth. All education is profitable for a woman- especially if she plans to home school her children. This is slowly gaining popularity in Australia, though nowhere near as much as in the States. But the point I am making is that as mothers, we are teachers. Our knowledge will only serve to benefit our family. And make us more interesting to our husbands.

Thirdly, I think in general we have set our sights on worldly things- the biggest home, cars, furnishings, designer clothing and expensive holidays etc. We have been sucked into the worship of the ravenous god of materialism and commercialism. Homemade is no longer good enough, home cooked is often a rarity, home keeping is a rushed chore and a burden- yet even so, home still is the sweetest place to be and always beckons us back. Are working mothers really getting value for their money? No! By the time we add up the work clothes, gas and fares for getting to and from work, the bought lunches, the more expensive packaged foods for faster meals, and last but in no way, least- the childcare centre, we have very little money available for spending. Are we starting to feel a little bit disillusioned? I would guess: yes a tad!

Now I am not naive: I know about mortgages, or renting, I know how hard it is to keep food on the table and clothes on the family's back- but what I know too is that a lot of extraneous spending could be curtailed and it would be far more profitable to stay at home. I know this, because as have previously shared- I did it for a while. It is more profitable not to work outside the home. And infinitely more satisfying for the whole family.

Frugality, budgeting, and cutting one's cloth according to income are not dirty words: they are words of life- family life. With a bit of planning and foresight, I believe a lot of women would be able to stay home and not suffer for it. The tools are planning, budgeting, frugality, wisdom and desire. I believe it is possible still today to manage on one man's wage- if we learn to be content with what we have or to downsize to make staying home with the children feasible. It is a heart issue.

So back to imagination: can you imagine rising and getting your husband off to work, having made him a leisurely breakfast and a cut lunch, guiding your children through bathing, dressing and breakfast in a calm manner, filling them with the best of breakfasts, then homeschooling or sending them to school with a nutritious packed lunch? No frantic last-minute hunt for lost notebooks or library books-or hearing your child read whilst you are hurriedly applying your makeup for work? Or worse still, from the other side of the bathroom door? No, you have had plenty of time last night to do these things and to be organised for the early morning rush. You are looking well to the ways of your own household.

As soon as the children are at school or setting about their lessons at home, you start to work your way through your chores, making beds and doing laundry whilst the crockpot bubbles away with some soup for lunch and the meat defrosts for the evening meal. You know exactly what you are having: you made your menu and shopping list and you are in control! Doesn't it feel good? Tonight when your husband gets home from work, you will be there to greet him with the children working steadily at their homework and the table set and dinner's delicious aroma wafting through the house to welcome him home. And if Dad works late shift, the children will at least get to see him at breakfast instead of being dragged out of their bed at some early hour to go to daycare.

Imagine if this was a reality in your life- would you want it? Thousands of women are turning their back on materialism, small families and feministic ideals and are turning back to God's Word for their lives and families. They are coping and they are gaining strength as a force that is pro-life, pro-family and pro-marriage. Their children are reaping the benefits of having a full-time mother who fills their world with soundness in a world she knows is anything but.

What is the future for the stay-at home mother? I believe job satisfaction: the knowledge that because she has applied herself to live her life according to godly principles and used wisdom, frugality and ingenuity in order to do it. Her marriage is stronger, her children happier and her home easier to manage. She knows that she is really free at last to be all God created her to be- a loving wife, mother and keeper of her home. And she rejoices at the days to come. Her husband is well looked after and well loved, as are her children. She doesn't worry what the world thinks about her life choices- she is following God's plan for her life. And her life is good- for all God's ways are good.

Imagine if all married women vetoed the work force, applied themselves to living frugally and returned home as stay at home wives and mothers…I imagine a lot of people would return to peaceful home making.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully." 1 Timothy 5:14

Verbal indigestion

When my children were young we lived amongst a lot of families where we women were all having children or raising children. In the era before every household had 2 cars, we walked our older children to kindergarten or school together, pushing our young ones in prams or strollers. In fact, we called ourselves the “Pram Brigade!”

We looked forward to coming together twice a day toswap mothering tips, discuss household management, recipes and childbearing. High up on this list too were infant welfare visits, vaccinations and Baby’s latest milestone. This was the highlight of our day. And it was good. But as often happens when women meet together regularly, a gradual overlapping of the boundaries of friendship and discretion slowly overtook us. 

A few mothers started gossiping about a neighbour who was not with us on a particular morning. Each woman tried to outdo the previous gossiper with another tidbit of “news” until the poor woman who was the unwilling topic of conversation had been badmouthed into a corner from which there was no escape. I too was guilty of listening, for the morsels of gossip were indeed interesting- I let them slide down my throat easily, relishing the details which seemed to whet our appetites for more.

By the time we reached the kindergarten, this woman’s housekeeping ability, mothering, integrity, morality and even marriage had come under some very expert dissection. We had not only gone through her home and family but had even figuratively been so bold as to enter the marital bed, discussing things that were a matter only between our friend and her husband. 

Suddenly by lunchtime, my absent friend of the morning had become a stranger- a sad figure who obviously had no redeeming points in her life and who was in fact, a person to avoid like the plague. Furthermore, I was suffering from a bad case of indigestion, with the morsels of gossip stuck in my chest accompanied by a vague sense of sadness and guilt. Not yet a Christian, I never thought to pray, but a sense of injustice towards my friend who was the victim of a character assassination was developing, and I found myself grieving for her and our lost friendship. Women can be the cattiest creatures alive. Just a few words can set a bush fire blazing with horrendous results. For the friend who was the victim of this gossiping session, obviously felt something was different the next morning when she took her children to school with us. And there was indeed something different. 

A bush fire had erupted and there was no putting out its flames! Each of us had suffered not only a bad case of indigestion overnight, mulling over lumps of gossip, but those things which were shared had managed to force a wedge between us and this woman. We felt such guilt that we felt uncomfortable with her and she could sense this. Some women tried to compensate by being over friendly and we all came across as false. 

Gradually to the increased discomfort of our maligned friend, we became less verbiose, and our wicked loose tongues at last ran out of things to say. So when at the end of the week our friend announced she was taking her husband to work each morning and then driving the children to school, we all felt that now familiar pang of guilt and regret. We all knew we did not deserve to call ourselves her friend after that morning. And we never did recover her friendship. 

The Morning Of The Gossip heralded the demise of other close friendships too. For each of us in our hearts knew that when women start gossiping you could very well be the next object of interest. Gradually the morning conversations became more formal, with no one ready to be open about anything that was precious to us. Our sense of camaraderie slowly evaporated. And the walks seemed to take forever. 

Forty years down the track, a lot of water has passed under the bridge. I have become a Christian and have learnt the Truth- that God hates gossip and maligning another person. I have repented and try hard not to gossip or listen to it. Whenever I think of my former friend, I wonder where she is and how she is. I wonder how her children turned out and if her marriage survived. I wonder if she overcame her weaknesses and if she regained her health. I pray for her. I pray that she reached out to God and found Him. I pray that she has found some true friends that have come alongside her and really supported her. 

I pray for my other former friends too, that they may have not only taken some antacid for their indigestion that day, but realised the cause of it. I pray that God has taken each one of us through this sad time and taught us the lesson of a loose tongue. And I pray that He in His mercy, stamped out the fire we created and sheltered that needy woman from its flames. I pray that God will see my tears as I write this: tears of sorrow and warning for those of us compelled to speak things of others that we should not. Let my tears help put out the fires of yesterday and bring healing to my friend. And I pray that I will never again suffer from verbal indigestion..

 © Glenys Robyn Hicks 

James 3:1-6 My brethren, be not many masters, knowing that we shall receive the greater condemnation. For in many things we offend all. If any man offend not in word, the same [is] a perfect man, [and] able also to bridle the whole body. Behold, we put bits in the horses’ mouths, that they may obey us; and we turn about their whole body. Behold also the ships, which though [they be] so great, and [are] driven of fierce winds, yet are they turned abouth with a very small helm, whithersoever the governor listeth. Even so the tongue is a little member, and boasteth great things. Behold, how great a matter a little fire kindleth! And the tongue [is] a fire, a world of iniquity: so is the tongue among our members, that it defileth the whole body, and setteth on fire the course of nature; and it is set on fire of hell.

Let the children play!

In the 50 and 60's when I was growing up, we played a good deal of our spare time. Often we played outdoors, making mud pies, making houses in Dad's shed. These houses were not only homes to us, but often were hospitals, churches for weddings, and shops.

Play was often quite physical with the customary games of tiggy chasey, hopscotch, skip jump and marbles and jacks. At school play time we made houses out of stones in the playground. We re-enacted shows on TV such as Flash Gordon and Jet Jackson.

When my children were little, they played similar games to us and I encouraged them by playing with them and making cubby houses for my little girl, Sonia. She would spend many a happy hour making me cups of tea and serving them to me in her tiny china tea service.

Her brother Mark often would jump on her cubby house, trying to fly like Superman, a tea towel tied around his neck. Sonia and Superman would often have a falling out! And later on they were joined by their brother Greg and sister Dianne, getting a ride on the back of their older siblings' trike with the little trailer on the back.

I can still remember with fondness my older son's patience with his baby sister as she toddled up to his cricket bales, knocking them off for the hundredth time, chuckling as he replaced it. She obviously thought that he was doing it for her amusement. They were happy and healthy times.

Today, I have noticed a shift in play. Children don't seem to have much imagination. They get bored easily and need constant stimulation. One child in our family needs a DVD to watch in the car because she gets bored going out and about... bored? I can well remember our fights to have the window seats when Dad borrowed a car for our once a week outing. Everything was exciting!

We had an imagination that came from a natural curiosity with the world, not through constant stimulation of TV, DVD's and X-Box computer games.... There aren't even a lot of children out playing with new bikes and toys in the streets on Christmas morning like days of old. They are too busy being entertained by cyber games and computers. They are getting old and fat before their time.

I saw a documentary recently that said that we must return to the old ways of play, for in them children gained insight to how things worked, and became socially skilled. They learnt many skills both vocal and social and learnt how to co-operate and how to assert themselves without resorting to fighting. They became more confident.

It also found that children who were denied the chance to play with other children or outdoors, lacked the social skills and motor skills found in children who played in the old-fashioned way.

Recently, I have been minding my grandchildren and I have been encouraging them to play out of doors. They have been having a great time riding their scooters, digging in the builder's sand, making mud pies and generally behaving like *children*

It has been good for them and fun for me too. Hearing their laughter reminds me of their mother Dianne and my other now grown children playing as youngsters and it is comforting to know that I am doing them a service by letting the children play.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

And the streets of the city shall be full of boys and girls playing in the streets thereof. Zechariah 8:5 

Guard your heart

I really hate hypocrisy. The world is full of it and it really gets to me. In particular I hate that a person can be the worst person alive, but when she or he pass, suddenly everyone cries crocodile tears and says what a great person they were at their funeral! In my thinking, it's hypocritical. 

Another thing that gets me upset is people who gush all over you, then talk evil of you behind your back. We all know someone like this. Our love should be true-our friendship real and sincere. 

I have learned to get over the hurt of people who say they love us and don't bother to keep in touch or visit us. I saw this with my own father and step-father who were both housebound with heart and lung problems for years before they passed. Everyone of their friends didn't bother not only to visit them, but even phone them- yet there were copious tears and utterances of regret and undying love at their funerals.. and I find the same thing is happening to me. 

In 1969 I found myself pregnant to my fiance at 16 and decided to resist my parents' offer to get an abortion for me or bring up my child as their own, and I married. But my grandmother who was pregnant before her own hasty marriage, refused to attend mine because I was with child..it hurt. 

People, even Christians are notoriously hypocritical at times, which is not only distasteful to me, but smacks of dishonesty and deceit. May we be women of integrity in our living and our living starts with attitude. Let us guard our hearts from hypocrisy at all times.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks


Let love be without hypocrisy. Abhor what is evil. Cling to what is good. Romans 12:9

Lupus: a hard one to call

Over the past 15 years, I have had so much trouble with aching joints and muscles and tiredness that I have had several series of blood tests for Lupus. Fifteen years ago I have been diagnosed with severe fibromyalgia but there is a question mark over whether I have lupus as well. I am sick of going to the doctors and not being taken seriously.

In spite of getting repeated highly suspect blood results, I am still waiting for a diagnosis. Two years ago I went to a local rheumatologist to get a second opinion. He told me he thought I may have it and asked what my original rheumatologist Dr H thought. I told him she said she wasn't sure and therefore diagnosed me with non-specific connective tissue disorder.

Straight away, he announced that he too thought I didn't have it: after all he had gone to school with Dr H and she was an honours student- if she wouldn't call it Lupus, he wouldn't. I left totally frustrated! And not helped at all. It was an expensive and futile visit.

For anyone who has a diagnosis of lupus or who cares to read further, here are the reasons I believe I have it. Posts are written by myself on But You Don't Look Sick Board.........

Hi. I have been to a rheumatologist and was told that I have Unspecified Connective Tissue Disease and she is not ruling out lupus.

My symptoms are:

extreme fatigue

fibromyalgia

dry eyes and skin

+ANA- has tripled in 12 months

constantly elevated ESR (mild)

diabetes 2

hypothyroidism

cardiovascular disease- 3 stents inserted in Oct this year thrombosed radial artery after angiogram

antiphospholipid syndrome

polymyalgia rheumatica

worsening fatigue

sunburnt look across my nose and cheeks

maddeningly itchy raised rash on my back and spreading out to shoulders, and now going up nape of neck and into my scalp- scalp is bleeding from scratching it

severe muscular pains and sore finger joints

swollen glands at back of neck and behind ears

difficulty focusing on things

one lot of eye styes after the other

Mesenteric panniculitis

Dermagraphia

Grape like blood filled sores in back of roof of mouth that burst and ulcerate- no injury, just happen

Painful fingers- one cant extend straight- wrists and neck and toes ache but not positive for RA

Butterfly shaped MILD transient rash like sunburn after being outside or tired

Extreme fatigue like fibro flare but lasting a month now with mesenteric panniculitis symptoms again

I am not anaemic though. Does this mean I don't have lupus? does it sound like I do have it? I dont want the disease per se, but maybe if I finally got a diagnosis, they could treat it.

Last year I had a return visit to Dr H and she scarcely looked at the results but seemed obsessed with the fact that I have had 3 stents put in my heart and am obese. She said she would put me on Plaquinel if I continued to have pain. I do not intend to consult her again. She diagnosed my identical twin as just fibro, and she now has full blown lupus SLE. My cousin has it also and one cousin has a granddaughter with it... so there is a very strong family history.

Fast forward to today and nothing has changed except I am losing my hair at a rapid rate. My left leg is visibly swollen and painful. My ANA and ESR are even more elevated. I have antiphosphilipid syndrome but most other tests seem OK. Though one with a River Viper serum (?) was abnormal.

The ANA+ was 1:80 in 2005 then 1:323 in  2015 and this latest one last month is 1:600 . There seems to be a lot of inflammation but he doesn't know what is inflamed. Tomorrow night I am going to see my doctor and Chris is coming with me. There are now issues with my bleeding too easily. Blood thinners are too potent for me I think. I am a mass of bruises! I cry with joint and muscle pain.

I know lupus is a hard one to call but I want an answer and am requesting more tests and a new rheumatologist. This time I won't tell him about Dr H! Any thoughts and prayers are always most welcome. I just want to be without hurting!

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits: who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases; Psalm 103:2-3

What is a home?

A home is a haven and a place of rest,

A sanctuary where love and acceptance

Go hand and hand with the teachings of Christ,

Where He is invited to dwell by His Spirit,

And rule as rightful Head.


A home is the solid earthly foundation

For God’s Word to be lived out daily

And His Love is shown

Even in small things.


Home is a place of worship

Where true expressions of faith

And love for God

Can be expressed in the most intimate

Of relationships, the family.


A home is a blessing from the Lord.

May you find the peace and love of God

In your home.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

"The curse of the LORD [is] in the house of the wicked: but he blesseth the habitation of the just" Proverbs 3:33

Don't step out from under God's umbrella

A book I have just finished reading again after many years is “You Can Be The Wife Of A Happy Husband” by Darian B Cooper. In one of her chapters she tells of God’s Umbrella of protection through His Divine Order.In a world where we see the havoc that comes from stepping out of the umbrella of God’s protection, it would serve us well to reassess just what the Divine Order of God’s Protection is. Darian has illustrated the Divine Order in the diagram above.

The illustration is self-explanatory really. In my own life, I have found that when this order wasn’t followed, my life would be out of kilter. I remember the times when I was working outside of the home, that trying to keep the home going as normal, mother my children and be available to my husband at all times produced stress in me that often would end up in illness. I was over committed and fatigued.

God brought me full circle to being a stay at home mother and enjoying it by having me walk through some very rocky valleys. I was hospitalised for weeks at a time during which I was shown how much I did appreciate my home and miss being with my family. A bout of glandular fever which lasted for 6 months, brought home to me that my job was creating a lot of stress that God did not require me to carry. And my children were not being cared for properly by a woman I paid a lot of money to, for before and after school care.

About this time, I was being discipled by a lovely group of Titus 2 women who were the most contented and fulfilled women I had ever met. Through all of these experiences, God showed me that the Divine Order is the best. These women taught me about our priorities as godly women. And I am blessed today to have had the privilege of being a stay at home mother for most of my children’s formative years. I am so grateful to God and to those women.

When a woman places herself under the protection of God’s Umbrella of Divine Order, she not only finds fulfilment as a wife, mother and homemaker, but she allows her husband to become the head of his home- the position given him by God in His wisdom. By allowing her husband to lead, she is strengthening her marriage and home and creating strong bonds to develop between not only her children to their father, but herself and her husband. Where a marriage is strong, there is every chance that godly children will be raised.

And where there is chronic illness, staying under God's Umbrella actually shelters us from trying to take on more than He intends us to have. He knows we are stretched to the limit already and He intends to shelter us from unnecessary burdens we weren't meant to bear.

God has provided the blueprint for a successful marriage and family. It is we who mess things up when we live outside of that blueprint by coming out from under the Umbrella of God’s protection. I urge you ladies, to rethink your life and check if you are living under the protection of the LORD. If not, it would be to your eternal advantage to take measures to step back under His protection and allow God to protect you and your family.

God provides protection for your husband too when he is under His Umbrella of Protection. In providing for you and the family, and despite perhaps being an unbeliever, he is still to be respected as the head of the home. But even so, he is to be in submission to God. This is God’s Divine Order. Many a family has come to ruin because a husband has allowed a wife to usurp his God-given authority as head of the home, and forced his wife to take on the role of leader- a position that God did not intend her to have to take.

We all know of marriages that have suffered because the wife has usurped her husband’s role and has decided to lead. It is often a cause for divorce at the most and the husband’s dissatisfaction at the least. And in this day and age particularly, we often see children ruling the home with demands, petulant displays of temper and tantrums, excessive shouting and fighting, argumentativeness, surliness and disobedience. This is another case of God’s Divine Order being breached- and the family suffer the consequences. Children come under the parents in the Divine Order.

Seeing the trouble that breaching the Divine Order makes for us, we would be wise indeed to stop and reflect just where we are in our own life- and if we find we have come out from under God’s Umbrella of protection for us, we would be prudent in getting back into order so that God can bless us and lighten our daily cares.

I sincerely praise God for making His ways known to us so that we and our loved ones may be blessed as we live under His protection and love.

© Glenys Robyn Hicks

He hath shewed thee, O man, what [is] good; and what doth the LORD require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God? Micah 6:8

Keeping peace in your home

Dear Friends,

Our membership is world wide and every religion! We are the keepers of our homes. It is up to us to set the tone for our families. This may be hard, but we can do it! We can do anything for 15 minutes.

Watch your words to yourself and to your babies. We cannot stereotype a people or a religion because of a few bad men. Fear is their goal! When we let go of this fear we have succeeded at allowing peace to enter our homes.

All any of us can do is take care of our little corner of the world; our homes! You can do this by turning off the TV and Facebook. I fell victim to television many years ago. It literally made me sick from watching the negativity of the news all the time.  I am not saying to put on blinders or not to be concerned for your family members who are in the middle of the news, but what I want you to do is keep the home fires burning. Limit the influx of the media. Their goal is to make it sound as bad a possible and I don’t want their one-sided exaggerations to hurt you or your family!

Focus your fears and sadness by doing something to bless your family! Go shine your sink! Fold laundry! Clean out that craft room! Work on your control journal! Pay your bills! Do not spend all your time in front of boob tube having your brains sucked out by fear! Or checking Facebook every 5 minutes. Unfriend people who spew nastiness and hate. Only friend or like pages that lift you up. 

Your children and your pets are very intuitive. You can’t hide your feelings from them. So you have to insulate yourself from those by limiting your exposure. What you think about your bring about! It is up to us to think good thoughts instead of expending energy on worry; use that power to bless your tiny little corner of the world.  Now is the time for us to do what we can, with what we have, where we are! So what can we do?

Feed our families. Get food in the house. Plan your meals so you feel secure. Pull out your family’s favorite recipes and fix their comfort food. Do it together! Set the good dishes and light candles!  Entertain yourselves with your favorite movies. Make a list of your family’s all time favorites. Look for them at yard sales and clearance racks. Gather up some of your favorite books to read aloud.

Play classical music, gospel music, or your favorite music! Let your spirits be lifted in song your special way! Sing together! Play music on the piano, keyboards, or other instruments. Have a sing along! Sing your favorite holiday songs! Go Caroling! Learn how to sing in harmony! What fun! Drag out the karaoke machines!  (if you haven’t flung them LOL)

Pull out the family board games or a jigsaw puzzle. Sit around your dinner table and play games and talk.  You are not going to be able to isolate your children from all of this, but you can edit what they hear and have it come from you! Worry never made any situation better! If you catch yourself doing this, it is time to take care of you!

Remember what the flight attendant always says when you board a plane: You have to put your oxygen mask on first, before you start to help your child. This means keep up with your simple morning and evening routines, continue to declutter for 15 minutes a day and do the missions for your zone.

Your routines will give you structure and comfort! Do Them!! This means getting dressed to lace-up shoes, fixing your hair and face too! When you start to feel yourself get stressed, then change gears and take care of you! This means give yourself a hug! If you don’t know what to do, then go to our homepage and read the Pamper Section, get in the tub, take a walk, or just sit and listen to the birds sing, light candles, turn on all the lights in the house, open up the curtains and let the sun shine in!

Winter is tough on all of us. We can dream about spring, plan our gardens, and plant seedlings. Dream big! Let’s be ready for any emergency. They keep saying we are going to have a long hard winter.

We can do this. We don’t have to let the bad news disrupt OUR peace in OUR homes.  Are you ready to FLY with peace as your guide? by Marla Cilley aka FlyLady

So teach [us] to number our days, that we may apply [our] hearts unto wisdom.  Psalm 90:12