When the fog clears, tea's on the list.
For me, it's spoons!
It's Sunday morning here. I have brought in the online groceries and checked them off and put them away.
I will soon be taking Chris's bloods and doing breakfast. Breakfast will be eggs and bacon and a cup of tea. Lunch will be ham and salad sandwiches. For dinner, I am doing a vegetable intensive beef stew. Fresh fruit for desert.
There's a hamper of clean clothes to fold and then I will be up to date with washing. Later I plan to make some coleslaw, if spoons permit.
That's about it for today, except for cooking dinner. I don't want to put myself into another fibromyalgia flare or I won't have spoons to help my daughter tomorrow. As I always say: most jugglers juggle balls, for me it's spoons!
A big part of my life
It's 11.30 Saturday morning here and already we have been to have blood tests, come back and had breakfast and I have done a load of washing, folded clothes and stacked the dishwasher.
They weren't able to get blood from me today so I have to come back Monday. This in spite of drinking water beforehand.
Chris is sleeping and I am thinking of having a nana nap as I have no spoons left. So tonight I will be cooking pork chops with mashed potato and salad. I may serve a fruit salad for dessert.
The fibromyalgia is flaring and I am aching all over. I haven't recovered from the move yet. In spite of knowing I could/should do some more around the house, I know that I need to rest or tomorrow will be a repeat of today. Pacing and resting are now a big part of my life since fibro.
I think I could sleep on the freeway.
I am too tired to shout!
Today is Monday morning. I have to do some washing and restack the dishwasher. I have run Sadie the Roomba and am about to do bloods, meds and breakfast.
Later on at 11 a man is coming to do some flatpacks of furniture for us. I am hopeless at this and Chris can't do it anymore. It's a coffee table and TV lowline unit. It's $40 an hour but we had to factor that in when we bought them. It is what it is!
At 2.30 we have to pick Dianne up and take her to a doctor's appointment. Then I have to go to the chemist and get her meds made up.
It's supposed to rain for the next 10 days and the rain has been consistently heavy and constant. I think we are going to need an ark soon. It is making my fibromyalgia worse, and I am pushing myself to get Di to doctors and physio.
I will neverthless be busy with doctors and physio for the rest of the week and possibly next two weeks or more. I am glad Di's knee has been done though. It's all over bar the shouting! With no spoons at all, I am too tired to shout!
More spoons to enjoy life.
Pain is a disability
Anyone who suffers from chronic pain knows that it precludes us from a lot of enjoyment of life. Pain makes the vicissitudes of life that much harder to bear.
Everything is exaggerated both physically and mentally, and the only thing I can do is accept that this is not my usual self, for pain changes people.
Pain disables us in many ways. from physical activity. from family life. from sex. from sleep. from patience. from social life. from functioning normally. from life generally.
The effects of pain cause us to withdraw from people and become reclusive. It makes us feel isolated and unable to really feel understood or validated. We learn to be distrustful of others.
Because chronic pain, in my case fibromyalgia, causes us so much mental as well as physical angst, we decide to retreat to our home often preferring it even if we had enough spoons to leave.
Seeing as pain is such a disabling affliction, it makes no sense to me that we are often regarded by doctors with suspicion when we request heavy duty pain relief such as opiates.
Most of us cannot get enough medication to adequately help us with our pain. We often then succumb to depression and live as recluses due to agoraphobia.
We who suffer from chronic pain know that it is a disability. Invisible and destructive. We live in the knowledge that pain is disabling.
We just wish doctors were as aware of the ongoing relentless disability called Pain.
We aren't just tired: we're dead tired
It's a pain in the neck
And the icing on the cake is...
Friday we went to the chemist and were treated to a cup of tea behind the counter. In between customers, we chatted and caught up.
We were amongst the first of their customers and we have gone solely to them and rejoiced with them as their business grew.
We don't go out much, and he and his wife know this. They are lovely people and we will miss them if we find a new rental- so much so, that we have decided we will still go to them for our prescriptions.
Thanking them for their hospitality, they asked us to call in every Friday for coffee. Well, it looks like Fridays will be script days!
In saying that, it will depend on whether my fibromyalgia allows me to travel. There are days when I just want to stay home as my spoons are few. But just knowing that whenever we do see them, we will be welcome and missed is precious.
It does get lonely sometimes here. It's nice to have friends. The icing on the cake is that they are Christians!
We just have to embrace it
Our fiver got to South Australia to its new owner and they rang us to tell us how pleased they were with it. So that's good.
We are taking our GMC Sierra to the mechanic for a good overhaul Monday and then we will decide what we will do with it. Over here they are seen as a luxury ute and we think a young buck would love it. That's what we are hoping.
My twin and son and granddaughter continue to recover from Covid but are still very much under the weather with it.
I am convinced that our prayers have helped keep my twin. She's so many serious health issues such as lupus and I was afraid for her.
I have done a load of washing, cleaned my kitchen and am about to make some lunch. I have a flare of fibromyalgia again and my spoons are nearly all gone. I will be taking a nana nap soon.
With an imminent move, I am not looking forward to the energy output, however I am looking forward to being nearer family.
I will miss the birds and our feral cat who is gradually becoming less timid as we feed him. We have named him Teddy Bear as his face is surrounded by bushy fur and he is gingery brown and looks like a teddy.
But I know in life that one rarely gets everything one wants and so we have weighed up staying or moving. We have decided that we want to be closer to family, particularly our daughter who has had leukaemia.
With a bird bath/feeder and garden swing to take with us, we will continue to feed the birds as we watch from the swing in the garden.
It's true what they say: nothing is sure except death and taxes. Life is full of change. We just have to embrace it.
Spoons aren't transferable
So this morning I needed a shower as I have an important appointment later on in the day. With being home most of the time, I have been fairly relaxed about it, but not today.
I did our bloods, gave Chris his insulin injection, ate breakfast and ran the shower. It was heaven on my aching muscles and I let the water run on my sore neck and back. I washed my hair and body and then started to feel weak.
Out of spoons, I sat on the side of the bath trying to catch my breath and get my second wind. It didn't come.
By the time I had finally got dried and dressed, I was literally shaking and sick with fatigue.
Looking at the clock, I realised that in a few hours I will be leaving the house and walking around. Which normals think as normal, but us sufferers of fibromyalgia and other chronic illnesses know, we have to balance everything in the spoon equation. Once spent, they're gone!
Sitting down to rest and trying to garner some spoons of energy, I realised once again that I simply cannot shower on days I have to go out to an appointment that simply cannot be postponed.
You would think after 22 years of fibromyalgia that I would have learned that spoons aren't transferable.
So teach us to number our days, that we may apply our hearts unto wisdom. Psalm 90:12